The Last Ark of The Covenent

The One Thing Needed to Leave an Abusive Relationship
One of my rock bottoms was discovering my boyfriend romancing another woman at 2 a.m. in his apartment …

Are You in a CoDependent Relationship? 7 Questions.
1. You are unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of a specific person.

5 Reasons to Stop Seeing the Asshat as a Human Being
If you see an Asshat as a human being you’ll begin to miss the specific things you love about him, instead of focusing on the overall crappy way he makes you feel.

The Colleary Family Christmas Letter
Nobody contracted ebola, nobody was kidnapped by the FARC in Colombia, nobody gambled away the nest egg, nobody became a horcrux for part of Charlie Sheen’s soul.

Device Addiction
Each bite does not touch my lips before it’s fingerprinted, patted-down and cavity-searched on that hellish Fitness Pal app.

How to get out of an Abusive Relationship
He wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me, all he did was play pool.

5 Reasons Using Sex to Audition for Wife Won’t Work
Here’s why using sex to audition for wife will fail every time …

Three Bodies
“Sometimes I feel like Peter Pan. But not because I don’t want to grow up. I’m like Peter Pan in that I’m chasing my shadow, only my shadow is my body.” – Lisanne Sartor

Stop Psychoanalyzing the Abuser, 5 Reasons You Can’t Change Him.
Are you an Asshat? Because I can fix you. If you’re a car, then I’m a mechanic. If you’re a computer, then I’m the Geek Squad. If you’re a porn star, then I’m the fluffer.

How Sex With a Pirate Ruined me Forever!
My first lover was Brandon Birmingham, captain of The Audacious, a merchant ship set for the Orient.
He’d mistaken me for a prostitute and had his way with me before he knew the truth…

Monday Paralysis in Cougar Town
I woke up this morning utterly paralyzed by all of the things I need to do or think I need to do or can’t remember if I need to do or in what order I need to do. Wear my cougar costume.

Do You Worry the Asshat Will Perish Without You?
Suddenly we put on our white hat, brandish our battle saber and charge in on our noble steed to rescue the Asshats them from their very own Asshattery, abandoning ourselves in the process!