Shannon, Author at Shannon Bradley-Colleary

Stop Psychoanalyzing the Abuser, 5 Reasons You Can’t Change Him.

Are you an Asshat? Because I can fix you. If you’re a car, then I’m a mechanic. If you’re a computer, then I’m the Geek Squad. If you’re a porn star, then I’m the fluffer.

How Sex With a Pirate Ruined me Forever!

My first lover was Brandon Birmingham, captain of The Audacious, a merchant ship set for the Orient.
He’d mistaken me for a prostitute and had his way with me before he knew the truth…

Monday Paralysis in Cougar Town

I woke up this morning utterly paralyzed by all of the things I need to do or think I need to do or can’t remember if I need to do or in what order I need to do. Wear my cougar costume.

Do You Worry the Asshat Will Perish Without You?

Suddenly we put on our white hat, brandish our battle saber and charge in on our noble steed to rescue the Asshats them from their very own Asshattery, abandoning ourselves in the process!

Banishing the “Wicked” in Stepmother

She had platinum blond hair worn in an Aqua-Net bouffant, thick black eyeliner and a figure Jayne Mansfield would’ve killed for. At night she peeled her false eyelashes off like she was undressing her face.

10 Things NOT to do on Your Child’s School Field Trip

When the Bossy Docent yells at a child for pulling a pine cone off a tree, yelling, “Leave this land exactly as you found it,” do not whisper to your child’s teacher …

What the Asshats Say to Make You Stay!

In making me feel smaller, The Greek God ensured that I’d never leave because, considering all of my flaws, I believed I was lucky to get him and should just put up with the times he treated me poorly.

Empty Nest = Lame Sex?

It was still summer and the cock blockers were gone. I’d driven them at breakneck speed up to my mom’s in Santa Barbara. It was the first time they’d be away from home and we could have sex in every room of the house.

Girl on the Edge; a Powerful film about Healing from Date Rape

I realize that our daughters are coming of age in a time where date rape is not only still a threat but there is also the possibility of the crime being documented and disseminated on social media.

When an Asshat tells you he’s an Asshat, Believe Him

Here’s the funny thing about people. They tell you who they are. And they often tell you right away. Recently, I worked with an old

Do You Press-Gang Your Kids?

“Well, I know you haven’t brushed your teeth yet. Please go do that.” He looks at me horrified. That’s not why he came to see me. He wanted retribution not a chore. That’s what I do to my children. Ultimately I seem to turn every interaction into a nag.

Not All Feminists Want to Wear Mens’ Penises on a Chain Around Their Neck

We women can tell stories all goddamn day long about how we’ve been mistreated. I could tell you one from today. But I don’t know how much telling those stories will mean until we can get a goddamn grip on the word feminist.

How Old Is Too Old To Rock It?

There is a 50+ woman online who out-sexes me by a mile. I’m so thrilled to introduce you to Erica Jagger, a pseudonym evocative of

Zen and the Art of Sailing During A Small Craft Advisory Warning

I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to barf. I didn’t want to get salty. I didn’t want to smell feces. I didn’t want

When I Tried to Kill my Ex With a No. 2 Pencil

He walked in the door of our house at 1 a.m., as if it were only 6 p.m. and he didn’t reek of Other Women.

What Makes You Feel Desirable?

At 49 I’m just not ashamed of wanting to be attractive and even desirable anymore. I don’t care that some people may think desiring to be desirable is an affront to my husband and my marriage. Or that they may think I need to get a life and help build houses for Habitat for Humanity. Or that they may think I’m guilty of the 3 Vs. Vapidity, Vacuousness and Vanity.