When Your New Date Tries to Move in the 1st Week! Yikes, Love Addiction!
Here’s my first “Ask Shannon” video! Perfect when your new love interest wants to move in after one week! Uh oh! Could be he’s a
Here’s my first “Ask Shannon” video! Perfect when your new love interest wants to move in after one week! Uh oh! Could be he’s a
I want your child to come to our neighborhood middle school, Emerson Community Charter. So there’s my agenda right out there in the open. And
My un-Botox-ed brow furrowed and I felt compelled to ask my equally middle-aged male compatriot whether or not he was at the apex of his juiciness …
I stalked left field like a panther, my stride sinuous. Predatory.
He was going to see Margot. A tall, slender, yet buxom drink of Brunette and my worst nightmare.
If I were to think of our sex life as a Nascar Race, then there are some months that we go around the track quite a bit …
Suddenly God from the Old Testament of the Bible spoke in my head. He was probably wearing robes, had a beard and wanted to smite me …
Back in my Asshat days, I was incredibly annoying. And I wasn’t even the Asshat.
Sunday night I took a hard, violent fall, kinda pin-balled down there. Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit! …
What if this weight is perfect for me at age 49? What if I didn’t spend the day feeling like my body wasn’t behaving as perfectly as I’d like it to be? …
The year is 1991. I’ve been senior class president, most popular girl and Homecoming queen in high school. It is obvious I am destined for greatness …
I feel it’s my responsibility to try out all dermatological anti-aging procedures before you do, in case they are disastrous.
I’m a terrible mother! For all I know the drama kid’s really staying at school till four playing craps against the side of the handball court with a coupla middle schoolers named Vinnie and Jett …
Midnight. Exhausted as we were, we were not going down (so to speak) without a fight. We’d just begun certain preliminary gestures toward one another. Clothes were shucked …
One of my rock bottoms was discovering my boyfriend romancing another woman at 2 a.m. in his apartment …
I remember the moment as if it were yesterday. I’d gone into my college boyfriend’s parents’ bedroom in search of Kleenex when I noticed something on their night table that embarrassed me …
1. You are unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of a specific person.
If you see an Asshat as a human being you’ll begin to miss the specific things you love about him, instead of focusing on the overall crappy way he makes you feel.
Nobody contracted ebola, nobody was kidnapped by the FARC in Colombia, nobody gambled away the nest egg, nobody became a horcrux for part of Charlie Sheen’s soul.
Each bite does not touch my lips before it’s fingerprinted, patted-down and cavity-searched on that hellish Fitness Pal app.
The Granny panties. You know the ones, tall and white and slippery and just tight enough to give almost any ass the appearance of a broad pancake.
He wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me, all he did was play pool.
Here’s why using sex to audition for wife will fail every time …
“Sometimes I feel like Peter Pan. But not because I don’t want to grow up. I’m like Peter Pan in that I’m chasing my shadow, only my shadow is my body.” – Lisanne Sartor
When these women look into an interactive mirror, they are not expecting what is about to happen …
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