“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful Blog is a place to talk about — sex, beauty, body image, dating, parenting & the state of the menopausal vagina. It’s a place we support each other and keep it real to avoid becoming punk ass little bitches.
 
Like The Godfather, I’m happy to bestow this favor, but some day … and that day may never come … I may call upon you to do a service for me. But, until that day, accept this, as a gift.
 
In the header you’ll notice I’ve written some books. They’ve won Kirkus Stars and one of them will be published in China this fall! Buying them keeps this blog afloat. Leaving positive reviews is icing on the cake. My latest articles are below! Click to Read More About Shannon’s Books!
 

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The Effects of Divorce on Children: How My Parents Divorce Turned Me Into Jason Bourne

“I always thought I should be a spy. I’d have supreme efficiency in handling numerous vehicles, and would possess a Brazilian passport with a Portuguese name: ‘Gilberta de Piento.’ I felt qualified because my parents divorced when I was three and I orbited two homes as disparate as Jupiter and Mars. My mom remarried a police officer who had two sons that were three and six years older than me and we lived on a 69-foot sailboat in a white-trash, run-down harbor in Antioch, California, where Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped and kept as a sex slave for 18 years.” Keep Reading …

How My Grandma Took a Stand & Was Forced From Her Church of 40 Years!

Excerpt: I have two daughters. My younger daughter is Lesbian. As with most parents, I found this extremely difficult to accept. Denial was my middle name. I understand people who are homophobic because I was there – I was wrong. When homosexuality presents itself into your home, especially into your heart, it takes on a whole new meaning. About three years ago my daughter told me, ‘Mom, I’m gay.’ Keep Reading:

The Lengths I’ll Go to Try to Impress You (& be of service)

I like to brag. And every now and them I’m a cowgirl who’s all hat and no cattle. But I

Love & Sex

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6 KickAss Tools for Getting What You Want in Your Love Life!

A lot of things have been going on at my relationship website shannoncolleary.com. So if you’re one of my readers

The #1 Killer of Married Sex

Excerpt: “You can’t just run off to Sri Lanka, spending your days filming a documentary on the knitwear sweat factories while visiting opium dens in the evening.” Keep Reading …

Blown Sideways: The Day I Left Jack Kerouac

Excerpt: “I’d also leave my aged Beauty Rest mattress.

A forensics team would find remnants of the married actor who showed up to rehearse a scene from “Two For the See-Saw” going commando under his sweats and smelling faintly of citrus that reminded me of the orange trees in my childhood backyard…” Read More

Kids & Parents

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The Effects of Divorce on Children: How My Parents Divorce Turned Me Into Jason Bourne

“I always thought I should be a spy. I’d have supreme efficiency in handling numerous vehicles, and would possess a Brazilian passport with a Portuguese name: ‘Gilberta de Piento.’ I felt qualified because my parents divorced when I was three and I orbited two homes as disparate as Jupiter and Mars. My mom remarried a police officer who had two sons that were three and six years older than me and we lived on a 69-foot sailboat in a white-trash, run-down harbor in Antioch, California, where Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped and kept as a sex slave for 18 years.” Keep Reading …

How My Grandma Took a Stand & Was Forced From Her Church of 40 Years!

Excerpt: I have two daughters. My younger daughter is Lesbian. As with most parents, I found this extremely difficult to accept. Denial was my middle name. I understand people who are homophobic because I was there – I was wrong. When homosexuality presents itself into your home, especially into your heart, it takes on a whole new meaning. About three years ago my daughter told me, ‘Mom, I’m gay.’ Keep Reading:

Inspiration From a Teacher With My Daughter When an “Active Shooter” Terrorized UCLA

“As we sat together in silence, I called each of your names, and in the quiet of that room, where the tension was still thick with not knowing, I wanted to say your names over and over again.” Keep Reading

Body Image

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The Shocking Truth about Women in Lingerie over 50 (Photos)

HuffPo 50 took photographs of 11 women ranging in age from 48-67 in their lingerie then asked them how do they feel sexy today as opposed to in their twenties. Their answers will uplift you … Keep Reading!

Danielle, Embracing Beauty Despite Breast Cancer (LYBN)

Excerpt: “I felt a small lump in my breast in February 2014. When I saw my oncologist and all the results were in, I was told that I had Stage-4 metastatic breast cancer that was in my liver, lungs, sternum and both breasts. I was told in April 2014 that I had two years to live.” Keep Reading …

He Says I’m Too Fat, But What Bothers me Most is my Response

Excerpt: I abandon my body completely, as if it were a one-legged stepchild, by saying, “You’re right. I do need to lose 3, 5, 10 pounds. I’ll do it soon.” “When?” he’ll ask. “Soon,” I’ll say. Then he usually presses me to pick a time frame. Or a special event as my goal. And I will arbitrarily pick something. By my next birthday. Before I participate in a ballroom dance competition. By Christmas. Keep Reading …

Beauty, Buy & Bites

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The Best Photographer in Los Angeles & “Write Your Starring Role” Workshop!

Excerpt: “Introducing the Most Interesting Photographer & Comedienne in Los Angeles. This isn’t a sponsored post. It’s all about supporting and loving fabulous women who are doing kickass work! If you need a truly great headshot with loads of personality, or want to Write Your Own Starring Role – Read on”

Smooth, Silky Sex After 50! Here’s How…

Excerpt: “At the tender age of 18, a well-meaning gynecologist working at the USC health center decided to acquaint me with my very own va-jay-law for the first time. She positioned a little handheld mirror between my legs while I lay back on the examining table, feet in stirrups, so I could see.” Keep Reading if you dare…

Who Else Wants to Quiet Their Mind and Be Happier?

Excerpt: “Next time your mind gets stuck in a stream of unproductive or destructive thought, notice your thinking. Stay with it briefly and even notice how it feels in your body. But, then, instead of following the twisted path of thinking any farther, kindly say to yourself: “Leave it.” And come back to something that’s happening in the here and now – your breath, a sound or the feeling of your feet on the ground.” Keep reading for zen …

Travel/Aid

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The Lengths I’ll Go to Try to Impress You (& be of service)

I like to brag. And every now and them I’m a cowgirl who’s all hat and no cattle. But I

My 74-Year-Old Mother Takes on Ecuador (The Galapagos MisAdventure)

Excerpt: “Whenever I stepped onto foreign soil I became the new, more beautiful, exciting me: worldly, intriguing, champagne imbibing, mysterious with an intellectual bent (spy novel notwithstanding).” Read more!

From Los Angeles Mom to Helping Syrian Refugees

Excerpt: “Things get real when I’m handed the three-year-old son of the pregnant woman.

He keeps trying to run back into the water, back into the boat where his mom has gone into labor while in the throes of hypothermia. He isn’t crying, he’s stoic, which somehow makes it worse. I can’t help imagining how terrified my children would’ve been in this situation. How traumatized they’d be to see their mother suffer like this.” Keep reading.

I Thought I’d Fixed All of My Issues; Think Again

Excerpt: “This fear took over every aspect of my life. My ability to enjoy my family. My ability to live in the moment and be in my body. My ability to actually enjoy my life. I knew I had to take radical action and fast …”

I’m Lucky to be Featured in SheSpark’s “Keeping It Hot” Edition

A starlet, a scholar and a stripper discuss sex in midlife and beyond. Fine, I’m one of them. I have the fortune to be featured in SheSparks’s #KeepingItHot August Edition. Read On …

The Most Interesting Woman in the World!

“When I was pregnant, I was living in Guatemala city, carrying a glock 9mm (with a 32 round magazine) in my purse. I was riding my dirt bike up staircases in the city to avoid sketchy law enforcement, trespassing on private property, feeling completely entitled to do whatever-the-hell I pleased, and felt immortal.” Keep Reading …

True Hollywood Tales

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Is Chad from The Bachelorette a Serial Killer? My Pick to Win!

Excerpt: “How dare he cut in on her private conversations with poor erectile dysfunction salesman Evan? (Who Chad definitely thinks is a pussy) and find dark alcoves to pull JoJo into and kiss her (you just know Chad’s not kissing with a closed mouth!) Keep reading:

Oscar Predictions of 2016 from a Hollywood Screenwriter (aka me)

Excerpt: “the emotional life of The Revenant, a father’s love for his son, fell flat for me and DiCaprio’s ability to walk and fight after so many near-death injuries stretched the limits of my willingness to believe. After injuries like that he wouldn’t have any functioning internal organs let alone unbroken bones.” Keep Reading:

What do Jack Nicholson, Jane Fonda, James Dean and Me Have in Common?

I don’t know what’s happening, but a hole opens in my chest. It’s a vortex that everything dark and broken gets sucked down into. “I’m not the good girl! I’m so sick of trying to make everyone happy I could explode!” Over this Jeff yells, “Go To Scene!” The lines from the play aren’t on the page anymore; they erupt out of my mouth, “I had no right to do what I did! It was too bad a thing to do. There’s no happy thing possible because a me. I can’t leave this house cause it’s my crime!” Keep Reading.