The Blog

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She Wanted to Move in After Dating One Week! Shannon Colleary Advises her Guy!

The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful website is where I’ll continue to tell tall tales about naked Dutch boom operators, lady gardens, the tunnel of f#@k, Lena Dunham’s breasts, my Gwyneth Paltrow voodoo doll and Henry’s prowess in the boudoir, but for dating and marriage advice you’ll go to shannoncolleary.com

The Brits Tell Us How to Date at Lovestruck

Have you been single so long with you no longer own a matching underwear set? Is ‘freezing eggs’ a definite phrase in your Google history? Own a cat or two? Then this post is for you! Keep Reading …

Westwood Charter Families, If You’re on the Fence About Emerson Middle School, Here’s why I Think you Should go.

Excerpt. That’s when something green and gelatinous will ooze out from under the door of the science lab, or the school emergency alarm will blare unexpectedly and for no reason at all, or one hundred towering 8th graders will burst from their classrooms; talking and laughing in the maniacal pitch of children at the peak of puberty running amok, some breaking the rules and sliding down the stair bannisters. Keep reading…

Love & Sex

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She Wanted to Move in After Dating One Week! Shannon Colleary Advises her Guy!

The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful website is where I’ll continue to tell tall tales about naked Dutch boom operators, lady gardens, the tunnel of f#@k, Lena Dunham’s breasts, my Gwyneth Paltrow voodoo doll and Henry’s prowess in the boudoir, but for dating and marriage advice you’ll go to shannoncolleary.com

The Brits Tell Us How to Date at Lovestruck

Have you been single so long with you no longer own a matching underwear set? Is ‘freezing eggs’ a definite phrase in your Google history? Own a cat or two? Then this post is for you! Keep Reading …

Sizzle Video for our Shift For Love Seminar & My New Relationship Site is Live!

I’ve launched my new website where I write about Asshat Recovery, the Dating Dojo & Marriage Mojo. I’ve also started an “Ask Shannon” video series. So far I’ve shot: #1 She wanted to move in the first week they were dating. Is that normal? #2 The Number One Dating Rule. #3 What do you do when your Married Sex sucks? #4 What Can I do when I no Longer find my Spouse Attractive?

Kids & Parents

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Westwood Charter Families, If You’re on the Fence About Emerson Middle School, Here’s why I Think you Should go.

Excerpt. That’s when something green and gelatinous will ooze out from under the door of the science lab, or the school emergency alarm will blare unexpectedly and for no reason at all, or one hundred towering 8th graders will burst from their classrooms; talking and laughing in the maniacal pitch of children at the peak of puberty running amok, some breaking the rules and sliding down the stair bannisters. Keep reading…

Discover How I Made My Daughter A Better Athlete!

I stalked left field like a panther, my stride sinuous. Predatory. My Wilson 6-4-3 Series 13 Slow-pitch glove embraced my powerful, lightning-quick left-hand like a pashmina. My 11-year old opponent stepped up to the plate. Standing an intimidating 4′ 11″, weighing in at a muscle-hewn 85 lbs. she took her batting stance. Was that a gangland tear I saw tattooed out of the corner of her left eye? Her impregnable helmet made it difficult to be sure. Keep Reading!

My Kitties’ Humans Desperately Needed a New Litter: You’ve Saved Our Olfactory Glands, Cat’s Pride! (A Commercial Starring Our Family & Win 100$!)

My daughter Bridget’s bedroom adjoins the bathroom wherein two kitty litter boxes lay in wait to accost our nostrils. My poor daughter’s bedroom always harbors a hint of eau ‘d cat pee.

Body Image

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A (Video) That Proves There’s More Than One Ideal Body Type

What if this weight is perfect for me at age 49? What if I didn’t spend the day feeling like my body wasn’t behaving as perfectly as I’d like it to be? What if, just for today, I lay down my defenses and decide my body isn’t an ongoing project, rather a magical, irreplaceable conduit for seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing and feeling my own experience in the corporeal world. If I allowed that, maybe I would feel how much I love my body, how much I appreciate what it’s doing and has done for me my whole life.

Three Bodies: Identical Twins Heal Body Image Issues Through Fine Art Nudes

“Sometimes I feel like Peter Pan. But not because I don’t want to grow up. I’m like Peter Pan in that I’m chasing my shadow, only my shadow is my body.” – Lisanne Sartor When I was 46-years old I had flattering nudes taken of myself to combat negative feelings I had about my rounder, aging body. It was so liberating that I wanted to do the same thing for other women … keep reading!

Women Look in an Interactive Mirror and get a Massive Surprise! (Video)

When these women look into an interactive mirror, they are not expecting what is about to happen. I am weeping as I type this. Send the following video to all of the loving, beautiful women you know today. xoxoxo S Keep reading …

Beauty, Buy & Bites

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IPL Before and After Pictures

I feel it’s my responsibility to try out all dermatological anti-aging procedures before you do, in case they are disastrous. I suppose you can think of me as your minion who tastes your food before you do, in case it’s poisoned. Didn’t someone do that for Jesus? Or was it Voldemort? I can’t be sure. In any case, this time I’ve tried IPL, also known as Intense Pulsed Light Therapy. I had my four treatments at Dr. Rebecca Fitzgerald’s office on Larchmont Ave. in Los Angeles.

Just What You’ve Been Waiting For: The Chocolate Anus

Dear Mother of God, can it be true? Is it possible that there’s a chocolatier who actually uses the casting of an Unknown Woman’s Anus to make high-quality Belgian chocolate? Yes, Dorothy, it’s true.

Fashion Friday with Bungalow 20: From Vegan Leather to Studded Collars!

Happy Fashion Friday. What are you doing tonight? My friend Jamie and hubby Brian are joining Henry and me for a screening of Anne Hathaway’s new movie, … oh wait, I was looking up the name of the movie on google when I got distracted by The 40 Ugliest Photos of Usually Hot Famous Chicks. Be right back …wow, poor Britney.

True Hollywood Tales

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Is it Just Me or is Lady Mary of Downton Abbey an Asshole?

Initially it’s true I thought Lady Edith a bit, how shall we say, church mouse-ish in appearance, but how she grows on you with her vulnerability, her dewy eyes, her gentle, yet steely resolve to raise her own child, while that fucking Lady Mary sees her own baby for five minutes between teas and vagina kegels to create the steel glove that entraps unsuspecting lords and dignitaries! Keep reading!

Am I The Only One Who Loved 50 Shades of Grey? (Videos)

I asked Henry if I could stay and watch “50 Shades of Grey” while he and the girls went home. Did I see, in the gleam of his eye, the memory of how I pounced on him during my reading-the-books phase? His “yes” came at the speed of light and I wondered whether I’d return home to find him rigging an equestrian harness to our head board.

My Cat Fight With Gwyneth Paltrow and my Fear of Failure

The year is 1991. I’ve been senior class president, most popular girl and Homecoming queen in high school. It is obvious I am destined for greatness. This is only confirmed when I get a phone call from the casting agent for then-Broadway director, Arvin Brown, telling me that out of hundreds of actresses (many of them from New York where the real actors live) I’ve won the role of Madge

Travel Bug

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How to Have a Threesome in Vietnam!

The room was dark and quiet and I could hear the familiar sound of sleeping bodies around me. But there was another noise as well. In the bunk above me. Oh God, please no. The wet fluid sound of movement.

Utah is Dry no More and Jack Nicholson Might Show up in my Hotel Room

All I really seem to crave right now is some warm milk and a Thai caning. Neither of which I am capable of purloining in The Peery Hotel aka The Overlook Hotel in The Shining. I may not survive the night.

Au Revoir Paris, Time to Get Organized for 2014. I Could Use Some Help!

Leaving Paris to go home and: 1. Set up mammogram. 2. Set up doctor appointment to remove child’s warts. 3. Figure out Obama Care. 4. Pick up cats from kennel 5. Mainline crack.

I said, “I’ve Never Felt More Attractive.” He said, “I Don’t Believe You.”

EXCERPT: My un-Botox-ed brow furrowed and I felt compelled to ask my equally middle-aged male compatriot whether or not he was at the apex of his juiciness and then maybe break into his home, find his Viagra and shove it up his flaccid orifices. None of which I did. Because I’m certain his orifices are as tight as an Asian gymnast’s ass.

One Reader’s Comment Paralyzes Me & I’m in Love with Someone New!

It’s Monday. Hence I guess I should mention that I’m in love with someone. It is someone who is not my husband and also has a vagina. I love her, but don’t want to have sex with her. It’s a passionate love, nonetheless. Keep Reading!

There’s Always Gonna be Haters!

Suddenly God from the Old Testament of the Bible spoke in my head. He was probably wearing robes, had a beard and wanted to smite me. He said: “What is this fixation of yours with sex? How many other people don’t like you because of your stupid, confessional blog? Henry and the girls would have a lot more invitations and friendships if you were a better person and not such a perv!” Old Testament God can be a real little bitch sometimes. Keep reading.

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