“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

Download Shannon's story, "Beautiful Boy, Brandon Lee," in its full length, excerpted from her book, Smash, Crash & Burn.

The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful Blog is a ribald place to talk about — sex, beauty, body image, dating, parenting & the state of the menopausal vagina. It’s a place we support each other and keep it real to avoid becoming punk ass little bitches.
 
Above you’ll notice I’ve written some books. They’ve won rants, raves and Kirkus Stars. Purchasing them keeps this blog afloat. Leaving positive reviews is icing on the cake. My latest articles are below! Click to Read More About Shannon’s Books!

Current

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Does This Woman Look Trustworthy? (Video by Austin Sabado)

“Hello Ninjas — I’m typing this while wearing nothing but stilettos and a smile … okay, I’m in my pajamas wearing reading glasses with oatmeal stains on my shirt. But I do have a cat ‘o nine tails whip an arm’s length away in case Keri Russell shows up with a 9mm, offs me and tries to pack me into a suitcase … okay, I have The Americans on in the background and have Cheetos an arm’s length away. They could kill Keri Russell if she ate too many of them over the course of about fifty years. So …” Keep Reading

The Littlest Members of Women’s March Los Angeles Take on Donald Trump’s Misogyny

Excerpt: “If you’re taking your children to WomensMarchLA write your name and telephone number in Sharpie on your child’s arm so if anything happens someone will know how to contact you and reunite you with your child. Sharpie ink is a nuisance, but will wash off eventually and is well-worth the trouble of having access to your child in an emergency.” Read More

How Annette Bening Is Dangerously Radical

As I watched Bening portray Dorothea Fields in “20th Century Women,” (which should finally be her Oscar-winning role) a fresh, radical idea came to me …

Love & Sex

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My Holiday Gift to You? No More Narcissists!

Hello my Beauties — I’ve been cheating on this site with my relationship site at shannoncolleary.com — I’m hoping my life-coaching business for women who want out of toxic relationships to find Real Love will become a micro-business that supports my writing habit. But for those of you in the dating theater on Tinder, and ComeDoMeUnderABushel .com, here are my latest — some illuminating pieces on how to avoid the Asshats and find Real Love. xoxo S

4 Amazing Benefits of Midlife Sex

“We’ve both gained a life ring around our middles; Eric’s lost his gorgeous hair and I’ve discovered hair in my nose. Rosacea’s turned my face radish red, and both of our necks are heading south! I do not need Eric looking at my flapping neck from Woman-On-Top at nine in the morning, which is the only time we can have sex because our kids with their bionic hearing are finally at school!” Read On …

6 KickAss Tools for Getting What You Want in Your Love Life!

A lot of things have been going on at my relationship website shannoncolleary.com. So if you’re one of my readers

Kids & Parents

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Parents Be Aware: How Teen Drug Use Can Morph into Mental Illness

Excerpt: “Everyone has some degree of mental illness and addiction. Maybe you’re addicted to fairly benign things, like chocolate or coffee. Maybe your mental illness manifests in OCD hand washing or hair braiding when you’re nervous. Weird neurons that trigger, despite your intellectual observation. For others though, the situation is more dire. Meth. Heroin. Voices in their head. It’s easy to judge people on the extreme end of the spectrum. To feel smugly superior. But then one of these desperate cases turns out to be our parent, or our sibling, a friend, or worst of all, our child. Where does that leave us?

How My Grandma Took a Stand & Decided to Leave Her Church of 40 Years

Excerpt: I have two daughters. My younger daughter is Lesbian. As with most parents, I found this extremely difficult to accept. Denial was my middle name. I understand people who are homophobic because I was there – I was wrong. When homosexuality presents itself into your home, especially into your heart, it takes on a whole new meaning. About three years ago my daughter told me, ‘Mom, I’m gay.’ Keep Reading:

Inspiration From a Teacher With My Daughter When an “Active Shooter” Terrorized UCLA

“As we sat together in silence, I called each of your names, and in the quiet of that room, where the tension was still thick with not knowing, I wanted to say your names over and over again.” Keep Reading

Body Image

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The Shocking Truth about Women in Lingerie over 50 (Photos)

HuffPo 50 took photographs of 11 women ranging in age from 48-67 in their lingerie then asked them how do they feel sexy today as opposed to in their twenties. Their answers will uplift you … Keep Reading!

Danielle, Embracing Beauty Despite Breast Cancer (LYBN)

Excerpt: “I felt a small lump in my breast in February 2014. When I saw my oncologist and all the results were in, I was told that I had Stage-4 metastatic breast cancer that was in my liver, lungs, sternum and both breasts. I was told in April 2014 that I had two years to live.” Keep Reading …

He Says I’m Too Fat, But What Bothers me Most is my Response

Excerpt: I abandon my body completely, as if it were a one-legged stepchild, by saying, “You’re right. I do need to lose 3, 5, 10 pounds. I’ll do it soon.” “When?” he’ll ask. “Soon,” I’ll say. Then he usually presses me to pick a time frame. Or a special event as my goal. And I will arbitrarily pick something. By my next birthday. Before I participate in a ballroom dance competition. By Christmas. Keep Reading …

Beauty, Buy & Bites

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Does This Woman Look Trustworthy? (Video by Austin Sabado)

“Hello Ninjas — I’m typing this while wearing nothing but stilettos and a smile … okay, I’m in my pajamas wearing reading glasses with oatmeal stains on my shirt. But I do have a cat ‘o nine tails whip an arm’s length away in case Keri Russell shows up with a 9mm, offs me and tries to pack me into a suitcase … okay, I have The Americans on in the background and have Cheetos an arm’s length away. They could kill Keri Russell if she ate too many of them over the course of about fifty years. So …” Keep Reading

Learn the Secrets to Korean Beauty From a Bonafide Rock Star! (Girl Band Nylon Pink)

Excerpt: My latest obsession is my friend Kaila Yu. We met through the blogoshere but are now buds in real life!
I like her because she’s a supportive, loving, encouraging friend who’d give you the shirt off her back. But, I must admit I’m also enthralled because she’s Asian! I project characteristics onto her because of this. I think she’s mysterious and unknowable; could probably kill you with some kind of ancient martial art using only her thumbs; and must be adept at coding in Mandarin for the NSA and CIA. It could be true!” Learn more:

The Best Photographer in Los Angeles & “Write Your Starring Role” Workshop!

Excerpt: “Introducing the Most Interesting Photographer & Comedienne in Los Angeles. This isn’t a sponsored post. It’s all about supporting and loving fabulous women who are doing kickass work! If you need a truly great headshot with loads of personality, or want to Write Your Own Starring Role – Read on”

Travel/Aid

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5 Things to Do in Cabo. Unless You Want to Survive!

Excerpt: “Be warned. These “5 Things to Do in Cabo” might render you a pariah to the indigenous folk, your family and all who know you. #1 Ignore the “Danger Don’t Swim” Signs at the Resort and Dive Into the Ocean” Read More:

The Lengths I’ll Go to Try to Impress You (& be of service)

Excerpt: “I like to brag. And every now and them I’m a cowgirl who’s all hat and no cattle. But I did something I didn’t think I could do in this video. See if you can do it with me!”

My 74-Year-Old Mother Takes on Ecuador (The Galapagos MisAdventure)

Excerpt: “Whenever I stepped onto foreign soil I became the new, more beautiful, exciting me: worldly, intriguing, champagne imbibing, mysterious with an intellectual bent (spy novel notwithstanding).” Read more!

The Littlest Members of Women’s March Los Angeles Take on Donald Trump’s Misogyny

Excerpt: “If you’re taking your children to WomensMarchLA write your name and telephone number in Sharpie on your child’s arm so if anything happens someone will know how to contact you and reunite you with your child. Sharpie ink is a nuisance, but will wash off eventually and is well-worth the trouble of having access to your child in an emergency.” Read More

This Is the Sneaky, Self-Discombobulating Trait I’m Giving Up in 2017

Excerpt: “Clare has a crush on your older brother Dane,” I tell Gerald, a sixth-grader in my middle-school carpool. “Oh my God, mom!” my seventh-grader Bridget shrieks, “Why would you say that?! Clare’s going to kill you!” Why would I say that? Keep Reading.

I Thought I’d Fixed All of My Issues; Think Again

Excerpt: “This fear took over every aspect of my life. My ability to enjoy my family. My ability to live in the moment and be in my body. My ability to actually enjoy my life. I knew I had to take radical action and fast …”

True Hollywood Tales

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How Annette Bening Is Dangerously Radical

As I watched Bening portray Dorothea Fields in “20th Century Women,” (which should finally be her Oscar-winning role) a fresh, radical idea came to me …

The Effects of Divorce on Children: How My Parents’ Divorce Turned Me Into Jason Bourne

“I always thought I should be a spy. I’d have supreme efficiency in handling numerous vehicles, and would possess a Brazilian passport with a Portuguese name: ‘Gilberta de Piento.’ I felt qualified because my parents divorced when I was three and I orbited two homes as disparate as Jupiter and Mars. My mom remarried a police officer who had two sons that were three and six years older than me and we lived on a 69-foot sailboat in a white-trash, run-down harbor in Antioch, California, where Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped and kept as a sex slave for 18 years.” Keep Reading …

Is Chad from The Bachelorette a Serial Killer? My Pick to Win!

Excerpt: “How dare he cut in on her private conversations with poor erectile dysfunction salesman Evan? (Who Chad definitely thinks is a pussy) and find dark alcoves to pull JoJo into and kiss her (you just know Chad’s not kissing with a closed mouth!) Keep reading: