“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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Shannon Bradley-Colleary is the master and commander of The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful blog. She wishes she would’ve thought a bit harder before coming up with such an unwieldy URL. TWFKAB is a ribald place to talk about Sex, Beauty, Body Image, Dating, Parenting, Spiritual Recovery & the Menopausal Vajaylaw.
 
It’s a place we keep it real to avoid becoming punk-ass little bitches. Shannon’s latest articles are below! Her BOOKS are here!  
 
P.S. — Shannon Bradley-Colleary wrote a film called, “To The Stars” (directed by Martha Stephens) that’s one of 16 films selected to compete in the U.S. Dramatic Feature division at The Sundance Film Festival in 2019. This means posting here is sporadic. Share your favorite articles to keep a light on in the store. And thank you! xxS 

Current

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When You’re Addicted to a Person, Embrace THIS to Break Free!

Excerpt: “Detoxing from toxic love can be boring! Nobody likes to be bored. Nobody wakes up in the morning, takes a deep breath and shouts to the rafters: ‘Bring it Life! Bring the Boredom, Baby! I just love that shizz! Sign me up! You cannot give me enough boredom! It’s so freaking awesome. Yes, yes, I know. My friend Paris is in Paris with some boy-band dude who’s bipolar and has twelve STDs. And Vinnie’s dating this stripper named Jehovah who can shoot dollar bills out of her lady parts, but …” Read more.

It’s an Epidemic! The Insidious Habit That Keeps You Feeling Like Crap!

“I always thought if I could just get a screenplay I’d written into production I’d feel happier, more fulfilled, more confident and like I could finally let go of the need to impress people.
Well, a screenplay of mine is in production. Yet I still feel anxious, self-doubting and the need for approval from my family, friends and barrista …” Read more to learn a quick fix 

In Love, You Might Not Always Get What You Want; But Here’s a Quick Hack on How to Get What You Need

When we’re in “LOVE” with someone who consistently breaks our hearts … … and we stop to think about what

Love & Sex

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When You’re Addicted to a Person, Embrace THIS to Break Free!

Excerpt: “Detoxing from toxic love can be boring! Nobody likes to be bored. Nobody wakes up in the morning, takes a deep breath and shouts to the rafters: ‘Bring it Life! Bring the Boredom, Baby! I just love that shizz! Sign me up! You cannot give me enough boredom! It’s so freaking awesome. Yes, yes, I know. My friend Paris is in Paris with some boy-band dude who’s bipolar and has twelve STDs. And Vinnie’s dating this stripper named Jehovah who can shoot dollar bills out of her lady parts, but …” Read more.

In Love, You Might Not Always Get What You Want; But Here’s a Quick Hack on How to Get What You Need

When we’re in “LOVE” with someone who consistently breaks our hearts … … and we stop to think about what

Does Amy Schumer Need Sex Rehab? And Are You Having Sex for the Right Reasons?

“Ladies, I recently read Amy Schumer’s hilarious memoir, The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo, which made me realize that when it comes to bad relationships we can’t just blame our childhoods. There are also hidden Cultural Beliefs that mess up our ability to find Real Love. So here’s a little sex rehab for you!” Keep Reading!

Kids & Parents

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11 Things in Your Kitchen Right Now That’ll Kill You! You’re Welcome!

Excerpt: “You can feel nervous about being vegan. It means you smell bad and have too much hair in the wrong places and not enough hair in the right places and you absolutely could not fight for you life in a dark alley against a masked villain manically cackling like Mel Gibson after one too many gimlets at Moonshadows because you have absolutely no fucking muscle tone.”

Parents Be Aware: How Teen Drug Use Can Morph into Mental Illness

Excerpt: “Everyone has some degree of mental illness and addiction. Maybe you’re addicted to fairly benign things, like chocolate or coffee. Maybe your mental illness manifests in OCD hand washing or hair braiding when you’re nervous. Weird neurons that trigger, despite your intellectual observation. For others though, the situation is more dire. Meth. Heroin. Voices in their head. It’s easy to judge people on the extreme end of the spectrum. To feel smugly superior. But then one of these desperate cases turns out to be our parent, or our sibling, a friend, or worst of all, our child. Where does that leave us?

How My Grandma Took a Stand & Decided to Leave Her Church of 40 Years

Excerpt: I have two daughters. My younger daughter is Lesbian. As with most parents, I found this extremely difficult to accept. Denial was my middle name. I understand people who are homophobic because I was there – I was wrong. When homosexuality presents itself into your home, especially into your heart, it takes on a whole new meaning. About three years ago my daughter told me, ‘Mom, I’m gay.’ Keep Reading:

Body & Soul

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4 Ways “The Law of Attraction” from that Infernal Book, “The Secret,” Screws Up Your Life!

Excerpt: “Hence, if you worry about dying alone in a gutter to be slung in a potter’s grave — then ‘The Universe’ will respond in kind, and you will indeed be buried next to lepers and Charlie Sheen. But, if you believe you’re already married to the Love Of Your Life and you’ll be buried together in nirvanic bliss when you’re both 100, ‘The Universe’ will respond to these ‘Thought Vibrations’ by eventually providing what you desire.” Keep Reading

Do You Have a Fear of Happiness That’s Keeping It Away? Find Out Now!

Excerpt: “How Do You Know if You’re Staying in a Toxic Relationship Because You’re Afraid to Be Happy? Answer these questions: 1. When something good happens, do you downplay it because you worry the universe will take it away, or balance it out with something painful?” Read More.

One Simple Practice to Cut Through a Lifetime of Pain

“If you’re anxious, depressed, have a Monkey Mind, worry you’re not using the Law of Attraction correctly and are sending the Wrong Fucking Energy out into The Universe so you’ll only attract Troglodytes and Bell’s Palsy — this post is for you …” Read On

Beauty, Buy & Bites

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It’s an Epidemic! The Insidious Habit That Keeps You Feeling Like Crap!

“I always thought if I could just get a screenplay I’d written into production I’d feel happier, more fulfilled, more confident and like I could finally let go of the need to impress people.
Well, a screenplay of mine is in production. Yet I still feel anxious, self-doubting and the need for approval from my family, friends and barrista …” Read more to learn a quick fix 

Because I’m Worth It! (Steve Allen Media – PR with a Conscience)

When you first meet publicist Steve Allen you think, “Either this guy is high or he really really loves what he’s doing!” Because he’s bubbly. And excited. And creative. And a bit crunchy-granola, woo woo. His company’s motto is “PR with a conscience” and his goodbye is “keeping on having a fantastic day!” But make no mistake, he and his team kick ass and take names. Since hiring Steve in support of my book, “She Dated the Asshats, But Married the Good Guy” I’ve been lambasted with media spots. I almost can’t keep up …

Does This Woman Look Trustworthy? (Video by Austin Sabado)

“Hello Ninjas — I’m typing this while wearing nothing but stilettos and a smile … okay, I’m in my pajamas wearing reading glasses with oatmeal stains on my shirt. But I do have a cat ‘o nine tails whip an arm’s length away in case Keri Russell shows up with a 9mm, offs me and tries to pack me into a suitcase … okay, I have The Americans on in the background and have Cheetos an arm’s length away. They could kill Keri Russell if she ate too many of them over the course of about fifty years. So …” Keep Reading

Travel/Aid

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5 Things to Do in Cabo. Unless You Want to Survive!

Excerpt: “Be warned. These “5 Things to Do in Cabo” might render you a pariah to the indigenous folk, your family and all who know you. #1 Ignore the “Danger Don’t Swim” Signs at the Resort and Dive Into the Ocean” Read More:

The Lengths I’ll Go to Try to Impress You (& be of service)

Excerpt: “I like to brag. And every now and them I’m a cowgirl who’s all hat and no cattle. But I did something I didn’t think I could do in this video. See if you can do it with me!”

My 74-Year-Old Mother Takes on Ecuador (The Galapagos MisAdventure)

Excerpt: “Whenever I stepped onto foreign soil I became the new, more beautiful, exciting me: worldly, intriguing, champagne imbibing, mysterious with an intellectual bent (spy novel notwithstanding).” Read more!

How to Change Careers in Midlife (My First Interview!! – Video)

Hello Beauties — I’ve shot and edited my first interview with dear friend Jeannine Chanin Penn, who has decided her 50s are the perfect time to pursue a long-denied passion for art. You’ll see 20+ pieces of Jeannine’s incredible Legacy Series in this video …

The Littlest Members of Women’s March Los Angeles Take on Donald Trump’s Misogyny

Excerpt: “If you’re taking your children to WomensMarchLA write your name and telephone number in Sharpie on your child’s arm so if anything happens someone will know how to contact you and reunite you with your child. Sharpie ink is a nuisance, but will wash off eventually and is well-worth the trouble of having access to your child in an emergency.” Read More

This Is the Sneaky, Self-Discombobulating Trait I’m Giving Up in 2017

Excerpt: “Clare has a crush on your older brother Dane,” I tell Gerald, a sixth-grader in my middle-school carpool. “Oh my God, mom!” my seventh-grader Bridget shrieks, “Why would you say that?! Clare’s going to kill you!” Why would I say that? Keep Reading.

True Hollywood Tales

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Brandon Lee, David Schwimmer, Michael Hutchence & The Coppolas Are All Here

Shannon Colleary, wearing little more than a Bob Mackie rhinestone g-string and tiara, gives us a behind-the-scenes look at what it meant to be a struggling actress stage left while Madonna was still vogueing and Sinead O’ Connor hadn’t yet lit the Pope on fire. “Great story. And I too would have been drawn to the somewhat nerdy Jewish guy from acting class who turned out could really dance — rather than the smoldering Raoul who probably had a gold chain around his neck. Awesome.” — Jamie@SouthMaineMuse

How Annette Bening Is Dangerously Radical

As I watched Bening portray Dorothea Fields in “20th Century Women,” (which should finally be her Oscar-winning role) a fresh, radical idea came to me …

The Effects of Divorce on Children: How My Parents’ Divorce Turned Me Into Jason Bourne

“I always thought I should be a spy. I’d have supreme efficiency in handling numerous vehicles, and would possess a Brazilian passport with a Portuguese name: ‘Gilberta de Piento.’ I felt qualified because my parents divorced when I was three and I orbited two homes as disparate as Jupiter and Mars. My mom remarried a police officer who had two sons that were three and six years older than me and we lived on a 69-foot sailboat in a white-trash, run-down harbor in Antioch, California, where Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped and kept as a sex slave for 18 years.” Keep Reading …