“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

Opt-in to the Shannon Colleary Communiqué to have both the Funny & the Wise delivered to your inbox weekly!

Former Beaux

Back to homepage

He Had a Traumatic Car Accident and I Had to Grow Up

“As I sat by the broken boy’s hospital bed, trying not to flinch away from the constellation of scars on his lips, cheeks and forehead I knew it would look bad if I slipped away now …

Read More

A Beautiful Brunette was After my Man, so I Pulled a George Costanza!

He was going to see Margot. A tall, slender, yet buxom drink of Brunette and my worst nightmare.

Read More

Are You in a CoDependent Relationship? 7 Questions.

1. You are unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of a specific person.

Read More

What the Asshats Say to Make You Stay!

In making me feel smaller, The Greek God ensured that I’d never leave because, considering all of my flaws, I believed I was lucky to get him and should just put up with the times he treated me poorly.

Read More

Are You Turning the Asshat’s Bread Crumbs Into a Rustic Loaf?

Ahh, that perennial relationship black hole of Calcutta, the Asshat. They don’t call when they say they will. They don’t show up when expected. They brood at social gatherings with friends and family. You’re fairly certain they’re cheating on you

Read More

What Happened after my Prom Dress Came off…

I tried to open my bedroom window and it wouldn’t budge. Someone had locked it. I glanced confusedly at Albert. This is when we both heard my father’s Clint Eastwood-esque voice from the nearby porch, “Shannon,” he said, “you’ve slit your own throat.”

Read More

A Cheating Boyfriend Drove Me To God

And that’s when I see Her. She’s sitting where I’ve often slept, on Mr. C’s futon. She’s junkie-thin wearing a turquoise mid-riff top exposing a silver belly ring above skinny jeans.

Read More

An Old Flame And The Catcher In The Rye aka When I was the Asshat

I watched as he peered about looking for me and I saw the familiar conscientious expression on his face. Worried he was a little too late. And I realized in that moment that I still loved him.

Read More

The Ghosts Of Boyfriends Past

It is my sophomore year of college circa 1985. I’m driving my lemon of a Ford Mustang on the mean streets of La Habra, California at 3 a.m. What is an intelligent girl of 20 doing out at such an hour? Spying on her boyfriend, that’s what.

Read More