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How to Change Careers in Midlife (My First Interview!! – Video)
Hello Beauties — I’ve shot and edited my first interview with dear friend Jeannine Chanin Penn, who has decided her 50s are the perfect time to pursue a long-denied passion for art. I’ll give you a small taste of what
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The Littlest Members of Women’s March Los Angeles Take on Donald Trump’s Misogyny
“Donald Trump on Women” gets 10k searches a day. Here’s why: Regarding the Women’s March in Los Angeles the Facebook message passed around to thousands of Los Angeles moms said this: “If you’re taking your children to WomensMarchLA write your
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This Is the Sneaky, Self-Discombobulating Trait I’m Giving Up in 2017
What follows are three instances where my sneaky trait got me in trouble. See if you can guess what it is? The Bra Incident My acquaintance had incredibly large breasts. No, I did not touch them! Although I was curious to
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I Thought I’d Fixed All of My Issues; Think Again
Excerpt: “This fear took over every aspect of my life. My ability to enjoy my family. My ability to live in the moment and be in my body. My ability to actually enjoy my life. I knew I had to take radical action and fast …”
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I’m Lucky to be Featured in SheSpark’s “Keeping It Hot” Edition
A starlet, a scholar and a stripper discuss sex in midlife and beyond. Fine, I’m one of them. I have the fortune to be featured in SheSparks’s #KeepingItHot August Edition. Read On …
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The Most Interesting Woman in the World!
“When I was pregnant, I was living in Guatemala city, carrying a glock 9mm (with a 32 round magazine) in my purse. I was riding my dirt bike up staircases in the city to avoid sketchy law enforcement, trespassing on private property, feeling completely entitled to do whatever-the-hell I pleased, and felt immortal.” Keep Reading …
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I Got Over my Midlife Crisis in Syrian Refugee Camps
Excerpt: “Then something kind of crazy happened. A friend asked me if I’d be willing to volunteer with her in Syrian refugee camps on the island of Lesvos in Greece. With ISIS no doubt waiting for me to land at Mytilene Airport on that tiny island, there was no fucking way I was going. ‘You’ve got to go,’ my husband Henry commanded. ‘You’re in a major rut.” Keep Reading …
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How Safe is Your Vagina from These 7 Deadly Afflictions?
Excerpt, “I was particularly self-conscious after my injury because I was sure all the juvenile delinquents camped next to us (my first introduction to the allure of The Bad Boy) could tell, by the way I walked, that my 13-year old lady bits were the size of a catcher’s mitt.” Keep Reading …
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Beware the Black Hair! (5 Things Older Women Know That Young Women Don’t)
I was minding my own business, tweezing my eyebrows using a high powered magnifying mirror, capable of lighting up the crevices of your aging face like floodlights used to interrogate Colombian drug kingpins during the Pablo Escobar era, when I saw it. It was small, even demure, but it was there! … Keep Reading!
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What do Chrissie Hynde, Sexual Consent and a Cup of Tea Have in Common?
Excerpt: When I was a student abroad in 1986, I suffered an attempted rape. I was fortunate, after a protracted struggle, to escape my attacker. Intellectually, I understood that he had absolutely no right to do what he did to me. But, emotionally I felt culpable. Because I did stay on a deserted beach with a boy I didn’t know after my friends left. I did drink alcohol and become mildly intoxicated. And I did want him to kiss me. Keep Reading …
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How Laziness Can Make You More Successful
Excerpt: “On this last day on the plane from the Middle East to Jordan, it sparked the thinking about how honored workaholism is. It is a disease like any other extreme form of –ism, but in our Western culture, it is celebrated.” Keep Reading!
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When I Met a Very Rude Boy
Excerpt: The mom in me really wanted to kind of step outside my body, grab him by the ear and say, “Listen you privileged little shit, who do you think you are treating this well-meaning middle-aged woman so poorly when she was trying to rescue you from social isolation? Not everyone gets to go to Princeton and think they know everything!”
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Growing Up Slutty
Excerpt: Back in the car heading north on I-35, I sat sucker-punched. I hadn’t been called “slutty” since high school, and just like then, I had no idea how to react. While I tried to keep my twitching leg and foot from connecting violently with my taunter’s crotch, I realized I didn’t know what she meant. I only knew this was coming from a woman who had married her high school sweetheart and only sexual partner. (Unless you count the bedpost that took her virginity during a sneak attack of hide and seek when we were in junior high … but that’s another story). Keep Reading …
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What do Returning War Veterans and Stay-At-Home Moms Have in Common? And How Can we Help?
If you haven’t read Sebastion Junger’s latest piece in Vanity Fair, The Never-Ending War: The Bonds of Battle, you must. Especially if you care about the veterans returning from Afghanistan and Iraq. I’ve long had a passion for war literature and the psychology of men and women who put themselves on the front lines both as journalists and soldiers, but I was shocked that Junger’s well-researched theory about why returning war veterans struggle with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) might be the same reason many new moms suffer from post-partum depression.
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Mary Jane Minkin M.D. Answers All of My Questions About How Menopause Affects Sex
Vaginas. Half of us have them. If you’re reading this you may have one and if you don’t have one, you would probably like to be acquainted with one, so this applies to you, too. One day around year fifty the wonderful, multi-tasking vagina will begin to change. Mine, it goes without saying, is still a Maserati. Fast, sleek and a bit of a show-off. But as the last year of hot flashes have made very clear, the times they are a changing.
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The Hot Paramedics and the Humiliating Explosion
Excerpt: Into my bedroom strode not one, not two, but three insanely hot paramedics. To a man they were six foot three, weighing in at a lusciously muscled 200 even with blue, green and possibly amethyst eyes. My pain was blinding, but perhaps even more blinding than that was the sure knowledge that I had never looked quite so repulsive in my entire life. Not even that time I vomited down the front of my cat suit when I had one too many test tube shooters at Peanuts in West Hollywood during a drag show circa 1986. Read more …
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How to Prevent Teen Dating Abuse
She should have graduated with the rest of us. She should have gone to college or taken a gap year and worked at The Limited. She should’ve gotten her dream job or realized it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. She should’ve fallen in love once or twice or, if she were like me, six times before settling down.
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I said, “I’ve Never Felt More Attractive.” He said, “I Don’t Believe You.”
EXCERPT: My un-Botox-ed brow furrowed and I felt compelled to ask my equally middle-aged male compatriot whether or not he was at the apex of his juiciness and then maybe break into his home, find his Viagra and shove it up his flaccid orifices. None of which I did. Because I’m certain his orifices are as tight as an Asian gymnast’s ass.
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One Reader’s Comment Paralyzes Me & I’m in Love with Someone New!
It’s Monday. Hence I guess I should mention that I’m in love with someone. It is someone who is not my husband and also has a vagina. I love her, but don’t want to have sex with her. It’s a passionate love, nonetheless. Keep Reading!
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There’s Always Gonna be Haters!
Suddenly God from the Old Testament of the Bible spoke in my head. He was probably wearing robes, had a beard and wanted to smite me. He said: “What is this fixation of yours with sex? How many other people don’t like you because of your stupid, confessional blog? Henry and the girls would have a lot more invitations and friendships if you were a better person and not such a perv!” Old Testament God can be a real little bitch sometimes. Keep reading.
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She Showed Her Blind Date How Crazy She Was. What Happened Next…
So, through lots of trial and error I came up with some rules for dating: #1 Blind dates could only be during non-prime time (weekday coffee or lunch, maybe weeknight drinks if he came highly recommended). #2 Prime-time dates (i.e., Friday or Saturday night) had to be preceded by at least one non-prime date. #3 No calling after the first date. That was up to him, and if he didn’t call me within a week, write him off. If he called within a day or even two, then regarded him with suspicion and distrust. That meant he was too eager … Keep Reading!
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2015 Will Be My Best Year Yet! Cue Insane Laughter.
Hello New Year, you gorgeous bastard! I can hardly wait to conquer you and ride victoriously upon my steed, the Night Falcon, through the gates of Helm’s Deep with your Uruk-hai head, festooned with gnashing teeth, on a pike! Because I’ve got this! I’ve got 2015 by the freaking short hairs. Except I don’t … keep reading!
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Device Addiction: Does the Quest to Constantly Quantify our Lives Diminish Them?
I’m six months shy of 50 and, like most people my age, can no longer eat mindlessly without packing on unwanted pounds. Now each bite does not touch my lips before it’s fingerprinted, patted-down and cavity-searched on that hellish Fitness Pal app.
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Monday Paralysis in Cougar Town
I woke up this morning utterly paralyzed by all of the things I need to do or think I need to do or can’t remember if I need to do or in what order I need to do. Wear my cougar costume.
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Patio For Women: Cool New App that Saves Men’s Lives
I was lying in bed with Henry feeling forlorn because I didn’t feel as close to a friend of mine as I used to. Henry tried to console me by saying, “You’ll always have me.” To which I replied without hesitation, “Yes, but I need women for intimacy!”
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