I was minding my own business, tweezing my eyebrows using a high powered magnifying mirror, capable of lighting up the crevices of your aging face like floodlights used to interrogate Colombian drug kingpins during the Pablo Escobar era, when I saw it.
This is what I did to prepare for my 30th high school reunion: 1. Over-indulge in wine coolers and nervous carbohydrate eating. 2. Gain 5
In considering the usual psychological tropes for why alumni don’t attend their high school reunions my research has come to this: (1)He feels too fat.