The Unexpected Way Her Father Humiliated Her
“The other night, I caught you putting your boobs on the table.” “What?” (She saw that?) …
“The other night, I caught you putting your boobs on the table.” “What?” (She saw that?) …
“Mom, how old do I need to be before I can have sex?” Oh, crap. I am suddenly thrust into a very important conversation with the question-asker, my 9-year old daughter, that I WAS NOT expecting.
Sunday night I took a hard, violent fall, kinda pin-balled down there. Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit! …
She had platinum blond hair worn in an Aqua-Net bouffant, thick black eyeliner and a figure Jayne Mansfield would’ve killed for. At night she peeled her false eyelashes off like she was undressing her face.
When the Bossy Docent yells at a child for pulling a pine cone off a tree, yelling, “Leave this land exactly as you found it,” do not whisper to your child’s teacher …
“Well, I know you haven’t brushed your teeth yet. Please go do that.” He looks at me horrified. That’s not why he came to see me. He wanted retribution not a chore. That’s what I do to my children. Ultimately I seem to turn every interaction into a nag.
I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to barf. I didn’t want to get salty. I didn’t want to smell feces. I didn’t want
Racism: a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular
Dear Daughters, You’re at an age where your father and I have little control over the choices you make when you aren’t with us.
12-year-old Clare looks at me as I’m getting ready to go to the gym. Clare: Shannon, you can’t wear those shorts. Me: I am not
We’re the parents who allowed our 12-year old daughter to watch two R-rated movies. Is it my imagination, or have our phones stopped ringing for
Bad Parenting 101 The day was perfect for boogie boarding at the beach. The tubes were hollow; the pits weren’t dropping, there weren’t any bombs
I did something that totally pissed my kids off. I sent them to summer sports camp so I could work and try to make money
Okay. This is funny even if you’re having period cramps. Don’t want to publish any spoilers, so all I can really write about this is:
The Father Daughter Relationship Daddies value quiet, calm, cool-headedness, solutions to problems and a frothy lager. Daughters value love, acceptance, patience and a safe place
Mother Daughter Relationships: I was raised in the 70s; era of the skyrocketing divorce rate (key parties?) and the afternoon martini cart (reference any Bewitched
Bridget just turned 10. Claire has 12 in her sniper sights. I’ve had a few epic fails recently, which I won’t detail in order to
When the nurse placed my first swaddled newborn on my chest right after I gave birth, I believe the first words out of my mouth
There’s a trend in parenting to compliment our children’s abilities rather than their appearance. The lead in a recent Daily Telegraph article states: “Parents should
My kids don’t do what I say. Especially in the morning before school (TMBS). In TMBS they become spaced-out love children in the Haight circa
I’ve been reveling in some bragging rights about my daughter Bridget’s prowess as a soccer goalie. She made the All-Star team this year and I
Me to Bridget (aged 9) when I fail as a mother: Honey, I’m sorry I lost it with daddy in front of you today.
Welcome to my Traveling With Kids In Paris series: This year our vacation has been to Paris over the kids’ winter break. Here are my
Shhh. I’m hiding in an internet cafe on Rue Thouin across the street from the apartment we’re renting on the Left Bank in the Latin
We Collearys are not a religious people. Henry’s a recovering Catholic. I was raised Mormon and love them dearly, but simply could not commit to
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