“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful Blog is a ribald place to talk about — sex, beauty, body image, dating, parenting, spiritual recovery & the menopausal vagina. It’s a place we support each other and keep it real to avoid becoming punk ass little bitches.
 
Above you’ll notice I’ve written some books. They’ve won rants, raves and Kirkus Stars. Purchasing them keeps this blog afloat. Leaving positive reviews is icing on the cake. My latest articles are below! Click to Read More About Shannon’s Books!

Current

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Giving Up Alcohol By Taking My Inventory

Excerpt: “Why do you drink? I wrote, “It relaxes me. It’s my reward at the end of the day. It’s … it’s … it’s …” Okay, this smacked of laziness. I realized I had to dig deeper. Why do you drink? This is what instantly came out of my pen: “It numbs the pain of feeling like a failure.” Holy Shit. Now that’s something real. After writing that down, I dug for more …” (Read Article) 

How to Pray 101. Hint: I Didn’t Learn It in Church

Excerpt: “I realize that when I pray, I assume I’m not perfect enough for God. I assume God disapproves of me, is disappointed in me. So, my prayer then comes from a place of neediness, shame, embarrassment, cynicism and rebellion. What’s becoming clear is that I approach prayer not believing God loves me exactly as I am right now.”

Brandon Lee, David Schwimmer, Michael Hutchence & The Coppolas Are All Here

Shannon Colleary, wearing little more than a Bob Mackie rhinestone g-string and tiara, gives us a behind-the-scenes look at what it meant to be a struggling actress stage left while Madonna was still vogueing and Sinead O’ Connor hadn’t yet lit the Pope on fire. “Great story. And I too would have been drawn to the somewhat nerdy Jewish guy from acting class who turned out could really dance — rather than the smoldering Raoul who probably had a gold chain around his neck. Awesome.” — Jamie@SouthMaineMuse

Love & Sex

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10 Myths About Sex and Romance

(Excerpt) #6 The goal in lovemaking should be mutual orgasm. This is another myth spread by movies, where all couples seem to experience the height of pleasure at precisely the same time (and so very quickly!). Couples who believe this myth are putting an unnecessary amount of pressure on themselves when in the bedroom.

Interpret My Dream: How it Changed My Life Forever

Excerpt: “Touching her is the worst part. She’s still warm. Her limp body is a rebuke as I press it to my chest, trying to comfort and revive her. A bottle of milk appears. I try to feed the kitten as my heart beats frantically in time with the words in my head, please don’t die, please don’t die, please don’t die.” Keep reading

My Holiday Gift to You? No More Narcissists!

Hello my Beauties — I’ve been cheating on this site with my relationship site at shannoncolleary.com — I’m hoping my life-coaching business for women who want out of toxic relationships to find Real Love will become a micro-business that supports my writing habit. But for those of you in the dating theater on Tinder, and ComeDoMeUnderABushel .com, here are my latest — some illuminating pieces on how to avoid the Asshats and find Real Love. xoxo S

Kids & Parents

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11 Things in Your Kitchen Right Now That’ll Kill You! You’re Welcome!

Excerpt: “You can feel nervous about being vegan. It means you smell bad and have too much hair in the wrong places and not enough hair in the right places and you absolutely could not fight for you life in a dark alley against a masked villain manically cackling like Mel Gibson after one too many gimlets at Moonshadows because you have absolutely no fucking muscle tone.”

Parents Be Aware: How Teen Drug Use Can Morph into Mental Illness

Excerpt: “Everyone has some degree of mental illness and addiction. Maybe you’re addicted to fairly benign things, like chocolate or coffee. Maybe your mental illness manifests in OCD hand washing or hair braiding when you’re nervous. Weird neurons that trigger, despite your intellectual observation. For others though, the situation is more dire. Meth. Heroin. Voices in their head. It’s easy to judge people on the extreme end of the spectrum. To feel smugly superior. But then one of these desperate cases turns out to be our parent, or our sibling, a friend, or worst of all, our child. Where does that leave us?

How My Grandma Took a Stand & Decided to Leave Her Church of 40 Years

Excerpt: I have two daughters. My younger daughter is Lesbian. As with most parents, I found this extremely difficult to accept. Denial was my middle name. I understand people who are homophobic because I was there – I was wrong. When homosexuality presents itself into your home, especially into your heart, it takes on a whole new meaning. About three years ago my daughter told me, ‘Mom, I’m gay.’ Keep Reading:

Body Image

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Giving Up Alcohol By Taking My Inventory

Excerpt: “Why do you drink? I wrote, “It relaxes me. It’s my reward at the end of the day. It’s … it’s … it’s …” Okay, this smacked of laziness. I realized I had to dig deeper. Why do you drink? This is what instantly came out of my pen: “It numbs the pain of feeling like a failure.” Holy Shit. Now that’s something real. After writing that down, I dug for more …” (Read Article) 

How to Pray 101. Hint: I Didn’t Learn It in Church

Excerpt: “I realize that when I pray, I assume I’m not perfect enough for God. I assume God disapproves of me, is disappointed in me. So, my prayer then comes from a place of neediness, shame, embarrassment, cynicism and rebellion. What’s becoming clear is that I approach prayer not believing God loves me exactly as I am right now.”

The Shocking Truth about Women in Lingerie over 50 (Photos)

HuffPo 50 took photographs of 11 women ranging in age from 48-67 in their lingerie then asked them how do they feel sexy today as opposed to in their twenties. Their answers will uplift you … Keep Reading!

Beauty, Buy & Bites

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Because I’m Worth It! (Steve Allen Media – PR with a Conscience)

When you first meet publicist Steve Allen you think, “Either this guy is high or he really really loves what he’s doing!” Because he’s bubbly. And excited. And creative. And a bit crunchy-granola, woo woo. His company’s motto is “PR with a conscience” and his goodbye is “keeping on having a fantastic day!” But make no mistake, he and his team kick ass and take names. Since hiring Steve in support of my book, “She Dated the Asshats, But Married the Good Guy” I’ve been lambasted with media spots. I almost can’t keep up …

Does This Woman Look Trustworthy? (Video by Austin Sabado)

“Hello Ninjas — I’m typing this while wearing nothing but stilettos and a smile … okay, I’m in my pajamas wearing reading glasses with oatmeal stains on my shirt. But I do have a cat ‘o nine tails whip an arm’s length away in case Keri Russell shows up with a 9mm, offs me and tries to pack me into a suitcase … okay, I have The Americans on in the background and have Cheetos an arm’s length away. They could kill Keri Russell if she ate too many of them over the course of about fifty years. So …” Keep Reading

Learn the Secrets to Korean Beauty From a Bonafide Rock Star! (Girl Band Nylon Pink)

Excerpt: My latest obsession is my friend Kaila Yu. We met through the blogoshere but are now buds in real life!
I like her because she’s a supportive, loving, encouraging friend who’d give you the shirt off her back. But, I must admit I’m also enthralled because she’s Asian! I project characteristics onto her because of this. I think she’s mysterious and unknowable; could probably kill you with some kind of ancient martial art using only her thumbs; and must be adept at coding in Mandarin for the NSA and CIA. It could be true!” Learn more:

Travel/Aid

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5 Things to Do in Cabo. Unless You Want to Survive!

Excerpt: “Be warned. These “5 Things to Do in Cabo” might render you a pariah to the indigenous folk, your family and all who know you. #1 Ignore the “Danger Don’t Swim” Signs at the Resort and Dive Into the Ocean” Read More:

The Lengths I’ll Go to Try to Impress You (& be of service)

Excerpt: “I like to brag. And every now and them I’m a cowgirl who’s all hat and no cattle. But I did something I didn’t think I could do in this video. See if you can do it with me!”

My 74-Year-Old Mother Takes on Ecuador (The Galapagos MisAdventure)

Excerpt: “Whenever I stepped onto foreign soil I became the new, more beautiful, exciting me: worldly, intriguing, champagne imbibing, mysterious with an intellectual bent (spy novel notwithstanding).” Read more!

How to Change Careers in Midlife (My First Interview!! – Video)

Hello Beauties — I’ve shot and edited my first interview with dear friend Jeannine Chanin Penn, who has decided her 50s are the perfect time to pursue a long-denied passion for art. You’ll see 20+ pieces of Jeannine’s incredible Legacy Series in this video …

The Littlest Members of Women’s March Los Angeles Take on Donald Trump’s Misogyny

Excerpt: “If you’re taking your children to WomensMarchLA write your name and telephone number in Sharpie on your child’s arm so if anything happens someone will know how to contact you and reunite you with your child. Sharpie ink is a nuisance, but will wash off eventually and is well-worth the trouble of having access to your child in an emergency.” Read More

This Is the Sneaky, Self-Discombobulating Trait I’m Giving Up in 2017

Excerpt: “Clare has a crush on your older brother Dane,” I tell Gerald, a sixth-grader in my middle-school carpool. “Oh my God, mom!” my seventh-grader Bridget shrieks, “Why would you say that?! Clare’s going to kill you!” Why would I say that? Keep Reading.

True Hollywood Tales

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Brandon Lee, David Schwimmer, Michael Hutchence & The Coppolas Are All Here

Shannon Colleary, wearing little more than a Bob Mackie rhinestone g-string and tiara, gives us a behind-the-scenes look at what it meant to be a struggling actress stage left while Madonna was still vogueing and Sinead O’ Connor hadn’t yet lit the Pope on fire. “Great story. And I too would have been drawn to the somewhat nerdy Jewish guy from acting class who turned out could really dance — rather than the smoldering Raoul who probably had a gold chain around his neck. Awesome.” — Jamie@SouthMaineMuse

How Annette Bening Is Dangerously Radical

As I watched Bening portray Dorothea Fields in “20th Century Women,” (which should finally be her Oscar-winning role) a fresh, radical idea came to me …

The Effects of Divorce on Children: How My Parents’ Divorce Turned Me Into Jason Bourne

“I always thought I should be a spy. I’d have supreme efficiency in handling numerous vehicles, and would possess a Brazilian passport with a Portuguese name: ‘Gilberta de Piento.’ I felt qualified because my parents divorced when I was three and I orbited two homes as disparate as Jupiter and Mars. My mom remarried a police officer who had two sons that were three and six years older than me and we lived on a 69-foot sailboat in a white-trash, run-down harbor in Antioch, California, where Jaycee Dugard was kidnapped and kept as a sex slave for 18 years.” Keep Reading …