The Blog

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Have You Told Your Mom She’s Beautiful? This VIDEO Might Inspire You!

This is one of those videos that remind us of all that our mother has done for us over the years. Get out your Kleenex and get your phone ready to call your mom to tell her she’s beautiful. Happy almost Mother’s Day!!

5 Reasons Cooking For Kids Sucks!

Excerpt: • No, we cannot get Fruit Loops. • I understand that Jack’s mom allllways has Fruit Loops. • No Fruit Loops. • We are not getting Fruit Loops! • Then I come home and have to find a place to put this stuff: counter, cupboard or pantry? • Don’t even get me started on my refrigerator … Where spinach goes to die alongside 3 open bottles of ketchup.

This Mother of a Twice Exceptional Child Needs a New Normal

Excerpt: That night my 9-year old daughter lies next to me reading a book. Suddenly she looks up ands says, “I always read ahead. I know I’m not supposed to. But I need to know what happens at the end.” “I do, too,” I tell her. She has no idea how much money I’ve spent at The Psychic Eye.

Love & Sex

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She Agreed to a Threesome and Lost Herself

A recent client I’ll call Sandy has been with Jim for almost four years. During that time he’s been unpredictable, unfaithful and unkind. But Sandy’s co-dependent addiction to Jim has made it impossible for her to leave him.
Finally, in the hopes of pleasing him by letting him know she’s willing to do anything for his love, Sandy agreed to participate in a sexual threesome with Jim and a second woman READ MORE

He Hit on Me, Then Married Her. Tales From an Inadvertent Matchmaker.

Excerpt: Then one night at the Peninsula I noted two gentlemen eyeing Glenna and me from a neighboring table. We’ll call them The Accountant and The Silver Fox. As his pseudonym suggests The Silver Fox was north of 55 and one of those men who age magnificently. An athletic build, sparkling blue eyes, a real looker. Read More …

She Wanted to Move in After Dating One Week! Shannon Colleary Advises her Guy!

The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful website is where I’ll continue to tell tall tales about naked Dutch boom operators, lady gardens, the tunnel of f#@k, Lena Dunham’s breasts, my Gwyneth Paltrow voodoo doll and Henry’s prowess in the boudoir, but for dating and marriage advice you’ll go to shannoncolleary.com

Kids & Parents

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Have You Told Your Mom She’s Beautiful? This VIDEO Might Inspire You!

This is one of those videos that remind us of all that our mother has done for us over the years. Get out your Kleenex and get your phone ready to call your mom to tell her she’s beautiful. Happy almost Mother’s Day!!

5 Reasons Cooking For Kids Sucks!

Excerpt: • No, we cannot get Fruit Loops. • I understand that Jack’s mom allllways has Fruit Loops. • No Fruit Loops. • We are not getting Fruit Loops! • Then I come home and have to find a place to put this stuff: counter, cupboard or pantry? • Don’t even get me started on my refrigerator … Where spinach goes to die alongside 3 open bottles of ketchup.

This Mother of a Twice Exceptional Child Needs a New Normal

Excerpt: That night my 9-year old daughter lies next to me reading a book. Suddenly she looks up ands says, “I always read ahead. I know I’m not supposed to. But I need to know what happens at the end.” “I do, too,” I tell her. She has no idea how much money I’ve spent at The Psychic Eye.

Body Image

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Lane Bryant’s Response to Victoria Secret’s “Perfect Body” Campaign

I absolutely love the Lane Bryant “I’m No Angel” campaign. There’s been some, what I consider to be, trumped up controversy that by featuring succulent, zaftig models in their campaign with an intra-textual reference to the Victoria’s Secret “Perfect Body” campaign, that Lane Bryant is simply perpetuating hate on hate.

A (Video) That Proves There’s More Than One Ideal Body Type

What if this weight is perfect for me at age 49? What if I didn’t spend the day feeling like my body wasn’t behaving as perfectly as I’d like it to be? What if, just for today, I lay down my defenses and decide my body isn’t an ongoing project, rather a magical, irreplaceable conduit for seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing and feeling my own experience in the corporeal world. If I allowed that, maybe I would feel how much I love my body, how much I appreciate what it’s doing and has done for me my whole life.

Three Bodies: Identical Twins Heal Body Image Issues Through Fine Art Nudes

“Sometimes I feel like Peter Pan. But not because I don’t want to grow up. I’m like Peter Pan in that I’m chasing my shadow, only my shadow is my body.” – Lisanne Sartor When I was 46-years old I had flattering nudes taken of myself to combat negative feelings I had about my rounder, aging body. It was so liberating that I wanted to do the same thing for other women … keep reading!

Beauty, Buy & Bites

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The Design Mom Book is a Must Have – How to Live With Kids: A Room by Room Guide

If you don’t know Gabrielle Stanley Blair you absolutely need to. Because she’s one of those people who turns everything she touches into a beautiful Wes Anderson movie set. I’m in love with her because she’s kind, generous and is the type of person I aspire to be someday. She’s the mother of six wildly intelligent, creative children who she integrates not just into the fabric of her life, but into the fabric of the work she does.

The Man With No Feet

Excerpt: This cannot be happening, Shannon. Last week you end up with a happy ending massage in Chinatown and this week you’re going to be the victim of a foot-ectomy by a footless magazine salesman who likely has a Tree Gear bone saw he bought at Cabela’s under the ruse of being a deer hunter! Keep reading …

10 Things I Know About Beauty at 50!

Excerpt: #10. GIVE YOUR LOVER A PROPER KISS ONCE A DAY: That means wrapping your arms around his back. Running your hands through his hair (if he has any). Pressing your cheek to his, so you can feel his stubble, smell his skin. Looking him in the eye, even if it frightens him a little, and then, to paraphrase Roland Barthes, pressing your lips to his so that through your mouth your soul can pass into his.

True Hollywood Tales

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Is it Just Me or is Lady Mary of Downton Abbey an Asshole?

Initially it’s true I thought Lady Edith a bit, how shall we say, church mouse-ish in appearance, but how she grows on you with her vulnerability, her dewy eyes, her gentle, yet steely resolve to raise her own child, while that fucking Lady Mary sees her own baby for five minutes between teas and vagina kegels to create the steel glove that entraps unsuspecting lords and dignitaries! Keep reading!

Am I The Only One Who Loved 50 Shades of Grey? (Videos)

I asked Henry if I could stay and watch “50 Shades of Grey” while he and the girls went home. Did I see, in the gleam of his eye, the memory of how I pounced on him during my reading-the-books phase? His “yes” came at the speed of light and I wondered whether I’d return home to find him rigging an equestrian harness to our head board.

My Cat Fight With Gwyneth Paltrow and my Fear of Failure

The year is 1991. I’ve been senior class president, most popular girl and Homecoming queen in high school. It is obvious I am destined for greatness. This is only confirmed when I get a phone call from the casting agent for then-Broadway director, Arvin Brown, telling me that out of hundreds of actresses (many of them from New York where the real actors live) I’ve won the role of Madge

Travel Bug

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What to do in London: Our Tour Through London’s West End Theater Productions

Excerpt: During one particularly gruesome scene, a character, who’d also provided comic relief, kills himself by slitting both wrists and allowing his life’s blood to gush down two metal spears stuck into two copper bowls which fill with the red stuff almost six inches deep. One theater goer had a brief fainting spell during that bit. Keep reading!

I Went in for a Massage and Might Have had a Happy Ending (London)

Thwackah! This was the sound of the 4′ 6′ Shimura whipping both sheets off of me like a magician revealing the fact he’s made his assistant disappear. Except, in my case, revealing my entirely naked, and now clenched, ass. Was this normal? Did everyone here have entirely exposed buttocks for their butt massage? Maybe this was like that Korean spa on Western where thickset Korean women with arms like tree trucks flay your entirely naked body with sea salt before they hose you down like fish on a wharf? I’m sure this is just like that and is totally not a happy ending …

How to Have a Threesome in Vietnam!

The room was dark and quiet and I could hear the familiar sound of sleeping bodies around me. But there was another noise as well. In the bunk above me. Oh God, please no. The wet fluid sound of movement.

How to Prevent Teen Dating Abuse

She should have graduated with the rest of us. She should have gone to college or taken a gap year and worked at The Limited. She should’ve gotten her dream job or realized it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. She should’ve fallen in love once or twice or, if she were like me, six times before settling down.

I said, “I’ve Never Felt More Attractive.” He said, “I Don’t Believe You.”

EXCERPT: My un-Botox-ed brow furrowed and I felt compelled to ask my equally middle-aged male compatriot whether or not he was at the apex of his juiciness and then maybe break into his home, find his Viagra and shove it up his flaccid orifices. None of which I did. Because I’m certain his orifices are as tight as an Asian gymnast’s ass.

One Reader’s Comment Paralyzes Me & I’m in Love with Someone New!

It’s Monday. Hence I guess I should mention that I’m in love with someone. It is someone who is not my husband and also has a vagina. I love her, but don’t want to have sex with her. It’s a passionate love, nonetheless. Keep Reading!

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