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How to get out of an Abusive Relationship: get into the Audience of your own Life
He wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me, all he did was play pool. The following morning, after we woke up, he pointedly looked at me and went straight back to the pool table, picked up the cue and began racking the balls. I wanted to rack his balls.
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Worst Husband in the World, Killing My Own Kid Video Gone Viral
When I was a newborn my grandmas came to meet me for the first time. My dad carried me into the living room swaddled in a blanket, tripped, fell and accidentally threw me into the burning fireplace as everyone screamed.
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5 Reasons Using Sex to Audition for Wife Won’t Work
Here’s why using sex to audition for wife will fail every time: 1. Men who are afraid of commitment are like bloodhounds when it comes to agendas. They can smell you gaming them over any camouflaging pheromones you emit.
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The Surprising Thing that Happened when I had Drinks with this Looker
On top of his seemingly ageless good looks, he’s smart, caustically funny and has won an Emmy for a news story about a goat. Throw in my zaftig insouciance and we should be An Affair To Remember.
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Stop Psychoanalyzing the Abuser (Asshat), 5 Reasons You Can’t Change Him.
Are you an Asshat? Because I can fix you. If you’re a car, then I’m a mechanic. If you’re a computer, then I’m the Geek Squad. If you’re a porn star, then I’m the fluffer.
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How Sex With a Pirate Ruined me Forever!
My first lover was Brandon Birmingham, captain of The Audacious, a merchant ship set for the Orient.
He’d mistaken me for a prostitute and had his way with me before he knew the truth…
Do You Worry the Asshat Will Perish Without You?
Suddenly we put on our white hat, brandish our battle saber and charge in on our noble steed to rescue the Asshats them from their very own Asshattery, abandoning ourselves in the process!
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What the Asshats Say to Make You Stay!
In making me feel smaller, The Greek God ensured that I’d never leave because, considering all of my flaws, I believed I was lucky to get him and should just put up with the times he treated me poorly.
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Empty Nest = Lame Sex?
It was still summer and the cock blockers were gone. I’d driven them at breakneck speed up to my mom’s in Santa Barbara. It was the first time they’d be away from home and we could have sex in every room of the house.
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When an Asshat tells you he’s an Asshat, Believe Him
Here’s the funny thing about people. They tell you who they are. And they often tell you right away. Recently I worked with an old friend of mine on a writing project. We’d known each other many years and I
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5 Asshat Moves I Ignored Thanks to Lust
Back before Henry, when the dinosaurs roamed the land and I loved Asshats, Mr. Cruelly Handsome and I were driving to Tijuana down the 405 freeway at 2 p.m., heading south to donate LAFD firefighting equipment to the Mexican bomberos
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When I Tried to Kill my Ex With a No. 2 Pencil
He walked in the door of our house at 1 a.m. as if it were only 6 p.m. and he didn’t reek of Other Women. I sat on the couch pretending to watch the Late, Late, Late Show, as if
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Video One: The Asshat Recovery Program
I’m excited about getting this series off the ground. Have a look at the video and see if your love life has the signs of an abusive relationship. Because I’ve been there, baby, and I can help! Also, you get to watch me sweating like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News.
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14 Reasons You Attract Asshats
When it comes to dating, do you keep choosing Asshats over and over and over again? I was an Asshat-magnet right up until my womb entered its geriatric phase and I had to get serious and stalk Henry who I
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13 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex!
In a recent story on College Candy (because I’ve never matured past my beer-funneling, waking-up-in-a-strange-dorm-bunk-with-Robert-Downey-Junior-during-the-druggie-years college era) the men of the Dude’s List offer these wisdom gems to women everywhere. Here’s what they say: 1. Not Every Time Has To
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My Sexy Interview on Breaking Through With Doctor Penn
I had the great good fortune to be a guest on Breaking Through With Doctor Penn, a podcast where the topic was Married Sex, which Dr. Penn assures us is not an oxymoron. During our almost one hour interview, where I
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Are You Turning the Asshat’s Bread Crumbs Into a Rustic Loaf?
Ahh that perennial relationship black hole of Calcutta, the Asshat. They don’t call when they say they will. They don’t show up when expected. They brood at social gatherings with friends and family. You’re fairly certain they’re cheating on you
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1 Woman + Three Marriages = 33 Wisdom Bites
I have had that marital prodigy/libertine Michelle Combs on my site before writing Do You Need Code Language For Sex Because Your Toddler Will Say Blow Job When Your Mother-In-Law Comes Over? I had to have her back again for this
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Do You Love An Asshat? How to Quit Him/Her
Hello there my favorite people. I’m starting something new and hopefully helpful and cool. Because my post, “10 Signs You Might be Dating an Asshat and 5 Ways to Avoid Them” (aka signs of an abusive relationship) has been, by far
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How Married Sex Changed When I Cheated Death
I’m not sure what moon my cycle is in, or which lunar orbit is pivoting across the satellite of my luminescent chakras and third eye, but I’m feeling sentimental about my man. Henry turned 54 in August. Can this be
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Sex with a Farm Hand? And other Important Topics
Everything I know about sex I learned from 18th century bodice-rippers peopled with rogues called Raoul, Ramon, Ridge. So you can imagine my delight when I stumbled upon insouciant provocateur Helena Hann-Basquiat’s body of work. I think you’ll love her
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You Won’t Believe What Experts Learned About People Who Like Kinky Sex!
A new study by the Journal of Sexual Medicine surveyed 902 people who practice kinky sex, i.e., BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism) and 432 people who practice “vanilla sex” (no kink involved) and discovered that the BDSM group scored
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6 Essential Dating Tips for Dummies Like Me
6 Ways Dating is Like Hiking slash Dating Tips for Dummies! 1. First you must be sure you have the right foot equipment for the climb. Are you going to wear flip-flops to ascend Killamanjaro? I think not. You’ve got to
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Do you need a Code Language for Sex? Because your Toddler will say “Blow Job” when your Mother Visits
Finally I’ve found someone (besides me) willing to blog about their married sex life. Blogger Michelle Combs lets us in on her code language for sex from each era: before kids, during infants, toddlers, teenagers and beyond. Michelle writes: By
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The Strangers Undressing Each Other Video to Promote “Masters of Sex”
The Strangers Undressing Each Other Video! Filmmaker Tatiana Pilieva has done it again. First she brought us First Kiss where she asked strangers to share a first kiss for the cameras. Now, as a promo for the HBO’s Masters of Sex
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