“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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Love & Sex

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Husbands and Wives: Dog Day Afternoon

This is the latest in my Husbands and Wives Series Me: “Let’s get a dog.” Henry: “We already discussed this. Dogs are too expensive. You have to build a fence to keep them in, but they still end up digging

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Husbands and Wives: The Saladarians

This is the latest in my Husbands and Wives Series: Me: Henry did you know that you spend about 85$ a week on buying salads at Whole Foods. Henry: That’s impossible! Me: Here, look, I collated and printed out our

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Husbands and Wives: The Dead Body In The Hallway

The latest in my Husbands and Wives Series. Me: “Henry. Are you awake?” He. Nothing. Me: “Henry. Are you awake?” He. Resting heart rate of 30. He’s dead. Me: “Henry. You seem to be dead. So could you please get

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What Happens When You Give a Man Who Isn’t Your Husband Your Phone Number

The Setting: The Peninsula Hotel lounge in Beverly Hills. Chic. Cloistered. Peopled with gorgeous women of a certain age (35+). My dear friend Glenna and I were also women of a certain age, but we weren’t high-end call girls like

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My BlogHer 2013 Voices Of The Year “Sex” Talk Is Here (Video)

My BlogHer 2013 Voices of The Year keynote speech titled, “What I Know About Sex now that I’m in my 40s” is here.  

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When Your Spouse Asks You To Take A Lover

Have you ever wondered what you would do if your spouse was disabled by an illness or injury and was no longer able to have sexual relations with you? In my often-morbid musings (being of Irish descent, I manage to

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What I Know About Sex Now That I’m In My 40s at BlogHer 2013

In the blogging world, I had a pinnacle experience tonight. I was ushered onstage by Queen Latifah as one of 12 bloggers to read my work in front of 5,000 of my peers at the BlogHer 2013 conference in Chicago.

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Marital Infidelity: A Marriage Surviving It

Sometimes Things Break Open to Become Better My friend Cleo met her husband Eric twenty-five years ago when she moved into her parents’ retirement home in Miami after she graduated college. She took a waitressing gig until she figured out

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What Happened When Henry And I Dabbled In The Sexy BDSM Underworld

This post contains graphic sexual content which might convince you to never have sex again: Before we had kids, Henry and I decided to walk on the wild side one night. We accepted an invitation from friends to attend a

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Why My Wedding Anniversary Means Nothing To Me

Henry and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  We tell each other not to get each other gifts for our birthdays.  We had our 12th wedding anniversary at Shutters On The Beach on Monday, but now I’m thinking we don’t really

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What Is Your Hair Identity?

I was going to write about the three main reasons America failed in Iraq: 1. We disbanded the Iraqi army leaving a bunch of 20-year old boys without jobs, but with lots of guns. 2. We cut too deeply in

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Sexual Dissatisfaction: When Your Spouse Is No Longer Attractive To You

Recently a reader contacted me regarding my Married Sex series to tell me her story in the hopes of getting some answers. We’ll call my reader Maggie. Maggie has been harboring a secret for the last five years of her

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When Hot Couples Have Lame Sex

Sometimes It’s Not as Hot as We Think I first met Svetlana and her husband Magnus at my friend Caprice’s Family Fourth of July pool party. Despite the one hundred-plus attendees, when the couple entered the party, a hush descended.

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How Crushing on Gavin DeGraw Almost Got Me Killed

I Adore Gavin DeGraw Is he handsome? I’ll punch you if you say no! Does he sport a six pack? I hope so. Is he a Rhodes scholar? Possibly. Do you even know who the hell I’m talking about ?

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I May Have to Gag My Husband

Henry is outside as I type this, reading the first draft of a book I’m writing. It was quiet out there when I entered. His face appeared stern as he read. He hates it. I can tell just by the

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Gone Fishing Over The Holidays (Christmas Photos)

Hello, dear fellow humans. I have not felt like updating and writing. I’ve felt like eating Christmas cake cookies and drinking egg nog spiked with Thunderbird. Which means I’m fat and happy. (Maybe a little too happy). So I’m going

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Is Bad Sex A Good Reason to Divorce?

My friend Bethany kept falling in lust with men at her office. This would’ve been fine, except that she was in a seventeen-year marriage with two teenaged daughters. She was never physically unfaithful to her husband, Doug, but the cost

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The Happiness Photos

I’m happy today. What the hell am I going to blog about? Oh, Happiness how you foil my creativity! How soft and sloppy you make me! How ineffably boring. Here are my happiness photos: But don’t worry, I’m certain my

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How Many Pre-Marital Lovers Is Too Many?

She Had Vastly More Lovers Than Him  My friend Maggie (who gave me permission to write this) is a volunteer at her children’s elementary school in Seattle, Washington. She’s on the crunchy-granola side, makes all her kids’ clothes, bakes the

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Dissection of the Ménage à Trois

1988 was a banner year for me. I was separately invited by two male college friends to engage in a ménage à trois with them and their wives. I was never flirtatious with, or attracted to these men. I didn’t have

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Sleeping With Women

Roomies, not Roofies Not since college have I slept four women in a room, two to a bed — and usually it was under the influence of Thunderbird and Night Train Express. So you can imagine my distress when —

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The Man You Want May Already Be In Your Bed

Friday night our daughters Bridget and Clare both had sleepovers elsewhere. They were gone by 5:30 p.m. and were not to return until the following morning. Henry and I were home alone for the first time since the new millennium.

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A Cheating Boyfriend Drove Me To God

And that’s when I see Her. She’s sitting where I’ve often slept, on Mr. C’s futon. She’s junkie-thin wearing a turquoise mid-riff top exposing a silver belly ring above skinny jeans.

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An Old Flame And The Catcher In The Rye aka When I was the Asshat

I watched as he peered about looking for me and I saw the familiar conscientious expression on his face. Worried he was a little too late. And I realized in that moment that I still loved him.

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What I Wish I’d Known Before My Wedding! (Photos)

I managed to convince Henry to marry me on May 27th, 2001. It only took me five years to get him to do it. Granted three of those years we were just friendly acquaintances and I was trying to get

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