Battle of the Narcissists
I slump next to Fred, who is 5, on a couch at his mom’s birthday party. Me: I can’t believe your mom is 47 because
Category: Kids & Parents
I’m Pro-Choice Because I Love My Kids
I’m not political. This isn’t a political blog. But the whole Rush Limbaugh/Sandra Fluke kerfuffle and Obama’s excoriation by the religious right has me steaming.
Softball Mom
“Wow, your daughter’s got quite an arm!” says a dad sitting next to me at Little League softball tryouts. “Oh I don’t know … I
Do You Bore Your Kid?
I have two daughters, 7 &9 One needs constant conversation and connection. The other is a day-dreamer who entertains herself with her own stories. The
What Do You Tell Your Children About Death?
It’s been an awful year. We’ve lost three of our beloved elders. My sister-in-law’s health is precarious and we’re blazing the trail to bring her
Love Is All That Matters
Loss My father-in-law passed away Sunday night. He’d been a young stage actor in New York. He’d been one of the original writers on Captain
Sometimes You Gotta Put Your Boobs On The Table!
Last night — I decided to play Monopoly with my daughters instead of allowing them to watch A Dolphin’s Tale for the fiftieth time. I
Relish The Moment. This One. Right Now.
This is not a funny one 2011 has been a difficult year for us and our extended family. Loss, diminishment, permanent change. My elegant grandma
The Santa Con
I’ve been eating my weight in candy cane cookies and want to be in denial. Instead, I feel compelled to plumb the labyrinthine depths to
Christmas Epiphany: Sit On The Couch And Drink Chardonnay
If I could control the moon, the sky, the sea, the stars and Ashton Kutcher’s wandering phallus I would. Which means, every year when
Sometimes You Just Gotta Go Sailing
The day after Thanksgiving I tried to get my daughters and my mother to help clean up. They said that they would, but it
When Thanksgiving Sucks!
This was the worst Thanksgiving ever! None of the children broke any of their bones. No one got drunk and called everybody cheap bastard sons-of-bitches.
What Happens When Harry Potter Is Just Too Scary!
I always forget that if my kids watch a scary movie this is where they end up! Thanks a lot Harry Potter!
Doesn’t She Know She Could Be In A Body Cast?
I lay in beside with my 9-year old Clare at bedtime. Something serious is troubling her. We’ve had several in-depth discussions about it already, but
I Hate Halloween!
9:11 p.m. Halloween Night … Sugar. No more sugar. Or corn syrup. Or malto-yickitomasmazoo. I am tired of costumes that are scratchy and too tight
How To Get Organized
Last night I had to kick some ass. There was mutiny afoot in our art supply cupboard. The f***ing pencils were A.W.O.L. and when they
Why TV is Good For Kids
I Love Lucy saved my life when I was a kid. My parents divorced when I was two. Today I wouldn’t have it any other
Will My Daughters Ever Love Each Other? (Sibling Rivalry)
All Hell Breaks Loose Clare and I were rolling around with our fat cat Marilyn Monroe on the bed I’ve been inhabiting with the flu
Do You Really Know Your Kids? Because I’m Clueless.
Just when you try to pigeonhole your kids, they change. This is Bridget (7): If tortured on a bed of red-hot nails I might encapsulate
Requiem For a Heavyweight
September 16th, 2011 At 9 a.m. my stepfather Guido (yes, Guido, will all the ardor for life that implies) passed away due to the repercussions
How to Respond When a Child Prefers One Parent (And It’s Not You!)
My eighteen month-old toddler Clare prefers her daddy more than me. There it is. In black-and-white for all to see. A public indictment of my
Go The F#%k Back To School!
Here are the cretinous techno-monsters! They’re still here. In their bedrooms. In their pajamas. Beds unmade. Toys strewn. They’re bored. They’re addicted to technology. Their eyes glaze over, their
When The Drug Dealers Moved In Next Door
My grade schoolers now know this: “If you illegally sell marijuana the cops’ll bust you and throw you in the slammer where they’ll make you
I Don’t Want to Grow Up
One of my daughters wakes up crying and goes to sleep crying. My other daughter wakes up happy and goes to sleep happy. According to
Daring to Love
Here’s the problem with ice cream. You mean to eat it slowly so that your eating pleasure is in direct inverse proportion to ice cream’s
