Gestation: 38 Weeks, 2 Days
The day before my baby’s birth I’ve officially broken the forty pound weight barrier, coming in on the scale today at a whopping 171 1/2 pounds.
I keep hearing the theme music from my favorite ’70s television show The Bionic Woman, starring Lindsey Wagner, “We can rebuild her better than before, faster, stronger…”
Reading the stats on my chart my marathon-running ob-gyn just shook her head and said, “It’s time for us to get that baby outta there. See you tomorrow at 3.”
I’ve finished all extra-curricular writing assignments. I’ve decided NOT to fire my too-good babysitter Addy, but to give her a promotion for dealing with hormonal always-hanging-around me.
I managed to get our painter to fix our ravaged retrofitted wall with two days to spare.
I’ve tweezed my eyebrows, shaved my legs, harvested, exfoliated, made amends to whoever I may have offended during this gestational purgatory and even those I didn’t and I’ve said my agnostic, yet hopeful prayers.
I’ve nothing left to do, nothing left to think. I am just waiting. And ready.