I am Hubbell

Great Scott that man was gorgeous!

Do you remember that scene in The Way We Were?

It’s the one where Barbra Streisand calls Hubbell because they’re broken up and even though she’s really depressed and verklempt her fingernails are stills swans of glory on her hands.

Yes, she’s still managed to get a manicure and take Japanese fan dance lessons. But I digress.

Barbra is calling to talk to Hubbell about being dumped by Hubbell because he’s her best friend and “who am I going to talk to if I don’t talk to you?”

Tonight I find myself at snuggle time face-to-face with my Barbra. Clare peers at me through salty tears that drip off of her long ash-blond lashes. She tells me I said “something” about her in front of her sister Bridget that embarrassed her.

I will not repeat what that “something” was here. I will pretend it is in deference to my child’s wishes for privacy, but actually I’m worried someone I know will read this and repeat it to her and she will serve me those sad, recriminatory tears in a pill cup on my sick bed when I’m 80 instead of the glycerin tablets that might save me from cardiac arrest.

So Clare and I are snuggling, she with the back of her shoulder in my face when she says, “Mommy, I don’t ever want you to say what you said about me to anyone ever again. Because it’s not true.”

It wasn’t true. I was teasing her and she has no f#@king sense of humor. “I won’t ever repeat it again,” I vow.

“And I don’t want you telling your friends, because I think you already have and if you have I want you to tell them it’s not true.”

Okay, now the kid’s scaring me. (Because I have told my friends that “something” I won’t repeat here.)

“Honey, I promise I will never tell my friends what I said. I have a big mouth and am indiscreet and very sorry I teased you.” (Lighten up, kid!)

This is when she pulls the Barbra, “Because you’re the one I talk to, mommy. And if I can’t talk to you about you, then I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Man, this parenting business is one humbling bitch!