Tag "married sex"
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101 Nights of Great Sex! The App is Here!
Excerpt: “My name is Laura Corn and I make my living selling sex tricks. With the end of my first marriage to a man who said I was “the worst lay he ever had” I made it my mission to become smoking hot in the sack. ALONG with becoming the vixen I was always meant to be, I ended up creating 500 seductions in 9 best-selling books helping other couples have great sex.
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You’re Never Too Old to Learn New Sex Tricks: The Stranger Game
Excerpt: “Henry and I had been married for 10 years when I made him meet me for a blind date. I’d been nursing an inexplicable obsession with the singer Gavin DeGraw and felt I ought to refocus my energy on real-life sex before I ran off on Gavin’s tour bus to serve Lime Rickey’s in a rhinestone thong.” Keep Reading …
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How to Seduce Your Wife
Excerpt: “What could my Mother’s Day gift be? A Spanx trousseau which would make me feel like a slatternly bovine and render me petulant and affronted so I could lambast my husband with the misplaced anger I feel about everything else in my life. (Not getting published in Jezebel for starters. Don’t they know I invented Jezebel?!)” Read More.
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Night Three from 101 Nights of Great Sex: The Naked Lunch
Excerpt: “My breasts were really quite put out. I’d already extorted six months of breast-feeding out of them back in 2005 so they stood there, tapping their stilettos, demanding to know why in God’s name they had to go commando under a cooking apron with the words ‘In Dog Beers, I’ve Only Had One’ embossed on it.” Keep Reading …
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Married Sex: Fact and Fiction is Live!! Countdown to Sale Promotion!
I finally did it! I took all of my married sex stories, along with many previously unpublished interviews (conducted with anonymous subjects under cover of night on a train platform in Gstaad) and compiled them into one freshly edited, integrated book! In addition, I’m including three previously unseen fictional short stories as well.
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How Do Sex and Nascar Racing Add up to a Healthy Marriage?
If I were to think of our sex life as a Nascar Race then there are some months that we go around the track quite a bit. I pit stop long enough only to get new rubber and often have a crew-chief telling me how to go faster, drive harder and encouraging me to come up on the corners … keep reading!
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Are You Willing to Admit Your Number? Not that one, Your REAL Number?
Me: Honey, I lied and told everyone we only have sex once a week. I didn’t want to make them feel inadequate by giving them the real number. Henry: Our real number isn’t even in the realm of quantifiability given its massive girth. Me: It’s kind of like in Interstellar when Matthew McConaughey was floating between worlds on the inexplicable time continuum. That’s how many times we have sex a week except that time is collapsed and weeks are really eons of incomprehensibility. Henry: After all of those words I’m too tired to have sex, except maybe in the square root of Pi arena. Keep Reading!
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Caught In The Act and Traumatized!
Midnight. Exhausted as we were, we were not going down (so to speak) without a fight. We’d just begun certain preliminary gestures toward one another. Clothes were shucked, body parts beginning to mingle like awkward teenagers at an after-school dance when the distinct sound of padding feet made us freeze. Keep Reading!
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The Surprising Thing that Happened when I had Drinks with this Looker
On top of his seemingly ageless good looks, he’s smart, caustically funny and has won an Emmy for a news story about a goat. Throw in my zaftig insouciance and we should be An Affair To Remember.
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13 Things Men Wish Women Knew About Sex!
In a recent story on College Candy (because I’ve never matured past my beer-funneling, waking-up-in-a-strange-dorm-bunk-with-Robert-Downey-Junior-during-the-druggie-years college era) the men of the Dude’s List offer these wisdom gems to women everywhere. Here’s what they say: 1. Not Every Time Has To Be
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How Married Sex Changed When I Cheated Death
I’m not sure what moon my cycle is in, or which lunar orbit is pivoting across the satellite of my luminescent chakras and third eye, but I’m feeling sentimental about my man. Henry turned 54 in August. Can this be
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Do you need a Code Language for Sex? Because your Toddler will say “Blow Job” when your Mother Visits
Finally I’ve found someone (besides me) willing to blog about their married sex life. Blogger Michelle Combs lets us in on her code language for sex from each era: before kids, during infants, toddlers, teenagers and beyond. Michelle writes: By
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The Fifty Shades of Grey Movie Trailer is Here! And it’s Actually Good!
Okay, I’ll admit it. I read the first two Fifty Shades of Grey books. My brain kept saying, “No, no, turn back! You are becoming stupider with each page. You are reverting back to your amphibian ancestors whose brains only
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How to Have Good Sex. Hint: Banish all Mice
It was 10 o’clock p.m. on a Friday night. The kids were actually asleep. Theoretically Henry and I could’ve been rocking the sheets. Instead: I was in the outdoor office trolling through Facebook, clicking on links which led to videos,
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Does Your Wife or Husband do This? aka How Much Sex is Normal?
Dear Abby had her hands full with this query: Dear Abby: I have been married to a wonderful man for 30 years. Our marriage may not be perfect, but it’s quite good. My dilemma is this: My husband keeps track
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Why I Couldn’t Resist Him…
Marriage advice from a Wife Dominatrix: Last weekend I wanted to eat my husband alive. His eyes were more cerulean blue than a ‘Sconset sky on a bike-ride Sunday. His pecs were glorious mounds of muscled filet mignon and just
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I Want You To Dominate Me In Bed!
In bed I’m soft. Demure. Enticing as Brigitte Bardot in And God Created Woman, with doe-like come-hither glances and marzipan hair. I’m as tremulous as the surface of tea in a cup perched on a plate balanced on a stick
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When Sex Is More Meaningful Than Having The Big O
“Henry. Henry, wake up! We have to have sex.” “No, we don’t!” “Yes, we do. Now come on.” “I can’t.” “If the musicians on The Titanic could play their violas and cellos ’til the ship went down you can wake
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Long Marriage = Adventurous Sex?
I met my friend Mistress Justine for lunch on Friday. That’s not her real name, but it should be. She and her husband, Raoul (also a pseudonym) have been married 15 years and the last time we spoke Justine admitted
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The Death Of Sweetums aka Entering the DMZ (Demaritalized Zone)
It hath come to pass that I am madeth aware, yet again, of a marital sex epiphany. Henry will, from time to ignominious time, refer to me as, and I quote, “SWEETUMS.” This is what Sweetums looks like: Sweetums bakes
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The Virgin Marriage
In honor of my little brother turning 40 today I’m reposting his sex life philosophies. The gift that keeps on giving. I love you, sweetheart! My brother and his bride were both virgins when they married at twenty-two and twenty-years
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The Man You Want May Already Be In Your Bed
Friday night our daughters Bridget and Clare both had sleepovers elsewhere. They were gone by 5:30 p.m. and were not to return until the following morning. Henry and I were home alone for the first time since the new millennium.
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Should Marriage and Pornography Get In Bed Together?
All people in this post are amalgams of people I know, so if you think this is about you … it probably is. My dear friend, henceforward known as Crystal, (a name I used once to great effect) called me
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Crystal the Porn Star and Other Ignominies
“I’ve looked on many women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me.” — Jimmy Carter Freakin’ Jimmy Carter, man, he lays it out there. Okay, so I’ve had this
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Tonight’s The Night, Baby
Last night was going to be The Night. I felt a lurking presence behind me as I Googled “Thesaurus” trying to find a better word for “engorgement” (don’t ask) on the internet. I turned to see Henry standing behind me. He was
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