It hath come to pass that I am madeth aware, yet again, of a marital sex epiphany. Henry will, from time to ignominious time, refer to me as, and I quote, “SWEETUMS.” This is what Sweetums looks like: Sweetums bakes things. She crochets tea cozies. …[Read More...]

In honor of my little brother turning 40 today I’m reposting his sex life philosophies. The gift that keeps on giving. I love you, sweetheart! My brother and his bride were both virgins when they married at twenty-two and twenty-years old. I wasn’t the only …[Read More...]

I met my friend Mistress Justine for lunch on Friday. That’s not her real name, but it should be. She and her husband, Raoul (also a pseudonym) have been married 15 years and the last time we spoke Justine admitted their sex life had stagnated. …[Read More...]

Friday night our daughters Bridget and Clare both had sleepovers elsewhere. They were gone by 5:30 p.m. and were not to return until the following morning. Henry and I were home alone for the first time since the new millennium. Should we go out? Here’s …[Read More...]

All people in this post are amalgams of people I know, so if you think this is about you … it probably is. My dear friend, henceforward known as Crystal, (a name I used once to great effect) called me the other night in a …[Read More...]

“I’ve looked on many women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me.” Freakin’ Jimmy Carter, man, he lays it out there. Okay, so I’ve had this fixation on Gavin DeGraw who’s a singer/pianist …[Read More...]

Last night was going to be The Night. I felt a lurking presence behind me as I Googled “Thesaurus” trying to find a better word for “engorgement” (don’t ask) on the internet.  I turned to see Henry standing behind me. He was wearing his Mating Plumage. A chest-grazing …[Read More...]

Sarah and Simon had been married ten years.  They had two children, Octavia and Penelope, ages two and four.  Their angels and their succubae.  The couple shared a post-partum stress disorder that manifested in the certainty that their daughters would be felled by whooping cough, kidnapped by infertile women, attacked …[Read More...]