- She’s packed Heat,
- Jumped out of airplanes over 400 times,
- Ridden Motocross and got clotheslined off a bike in Mexico,
- Lived on and scuba-dived off sailboats from the Caribbean to Dubai.
I can’t say I’ve met another woman quite like this badass adrenaline junkie and mother.
Lizzie Lau is an inspiration as having a Life-Well-Lived. (With decades to go!)
Even so, she has some regrets, and has learned to make peace with them. I give you guest-blogger, Lizzie Lau:
“I didn’t cry when I first watched Adele’s ‘Hello’ video, but every time I hear it, it speaks directly to my shame and I feel gutted.
“I’ve alluded to unpopular decisions in my past before, but I haven’t really shared anything super personal or even vaguely incriminating on my blog.
“I’m here to say that I’ve made some terrible, terrible decisions.
“I’d love to say that I was tricked, duped, under a spell, or in some other way shuffle off the blame, but I take responsibility.
“My confession: the last three relationships I’ve been in, including my last two marriages, began while the men were still married to or living with a significant other.
“It’s true, I didn’t have all the facts, but I KNEW that I didn’t have all the facts. I knew I was wrong. I’ve hurt people. Left a path of destruction. Unforgivable behavior really.
“However, I’ve been mulling over an idea ever since a friend and I exited the movie theatre after seeing ‘Wild’ over a year ago.
“On the stroll back to the car, she started to say something about the movie and I said, ‘I can’t talk about it yet.’
“I was super emotional, and felt raw and exposed by the story, even though it wasn’t even close to mine. It’s taken me a long time to process, but I have finally wrapped my head around a core theme of the movie:
“WHAT IF I CAN FORGIVE MYSELF?
“What if, instead of calling the past and begging forgiveness of people who have moved on and don’t need closure, I finally let myself off the hook. What would that look like?
“What would it feel like to shake off this heavy mantel of guilt and shame?
“I’ve been sorry for years and it didn’t do anybody any good. The shame I’ve felt made me feel unworthy for a long time, and stripped my confidence in my ability to be a decent judge of character.
“I have actually convened a committee of friends who will vet any guy I consider dating because I can’t be trusted to make the wise choice.
“Case in point, I found Juan Pablo (the most reviled ‘Bachelor’ in the history of the show) wildly attractive.
“My character development shifted gears the moment I met my baby daughter. These days, I’m wiser, stronger, much more ethical.
When I was pregnant, I was living in Guatemala city, carrying a Glock 9mm (with a 32 round magazine) in my purse.
I was riding my dirt bike up staircases in the city to avoid sketchy law enforcement, trespassing on private property, feeling completely entitled to do whatever-the-hell I pleased, and felt immortal.
“I flew to California to hang out with my parents and have the baby assuming I would take her straight back to Guatemala after she was born.
“Looking into her eyes for the first time, I knew instantly that life as I knew it was over. I never went back to Central America. In fact, it was 6 years ago and all my stuff is still down there.
“I just read Drew Barrymore’s book, ‘Wildflower,’ and totally related to how she describes her 180 degree attitude adjustment after having kids. No more flashing tits at David Letterman for one thing!
“Before reading her book I felt a bit like a hypocrite (because of who I’d been before) for being accountable, responsible, and moral, and demanding appropriate behavior from those around me.
“Reading her story galvanized the idea that I can be both the person who inexcusably did those shitty things in the past, and a person who wouldn’t do them now.
“Today I’m allowing myself to relax into my new normal. I’m ready to forgive myself and see what happens next.”
27 thoughts on “The Most Interesting Woman in the World!”
Good for you Lizzie! I am so happy for you that you are at peace with yourself. Vince found it fascinating and interesting.
Thanks Auntie Pam! I’m glad I provided some entertainment for Uncle Vince in the hospital. Love and hugs for you both!
Hi LIzzie! Good for you for just saying, “I’m done with it.” because obviously the ONLY thing you can change now is the future. I tend to come from the belief that the only mistake is the one you don’t learn from. So yeah, if you go and make a mess of things again then you deserve the consequences. But it sounds to me like you recognize that that was then, and this is now. And honestly, isn’t that the BRAVEST thing you can ever do–admit your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on. Sounds like you are well on that path. ~Kathy
Thanks Kathy! They say that every failure is an opportunity to learn and grow. I’ve had puh-len-tee of opportunities!
A beautiful soul that I am so honoured to ca my friend! It is only through our cracks that our light can shine and create a glow.
Thank you Diane! I’m delighted to be part of your tribe. xo
You are awesome, still working on letting my luggage go. I admire you much.
Thanks Cyndie! We all have luggage, but the cool thing about getting older and wiser is that when we pause every so often and unpack it, we see it differently.
My therapist enlightened me six years ago by telling me that “regrets were okay” (I’d been led and/or told myself the opposite) if remembering them reminded you not to do them again.
My personal regrets and guilt aside, good for you for forgiving yourself. Life is short. Do the best you can in the time you’re given. However long that may be.
Journeys of The Zoo
Gracias Sarah! I agree with your therapist, and I’ll always have regrets, it’s the self-loathing I needed to let go of.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your courage.
When we have the fortitude to be open, exposed and vulnerable we begin to attract miracles – not only in our own life, but we create the energy for others to experience this amazing power.
You have helped me realize that Self Forgiveness is the missing piece I need in order to feel whole again. I’ll re-read that article many times for sure.
Thanks Maryl. It has made a huge difference in how I move forward with grace.
Now you’re not only the most courageous woman I know but one of the most honest I know! Thanks for sharing your amazing journey!
What an amazing wisdom you’ve earned through your journey and you will be the momma tiger that teaches her daughter to live life fiercely but wisely. Forgive yourself and take what you have learned to make the world better, the best way to repay all debts.
I find your words very inspiring. I think we change as we enter different stages in our lives. It’s very cool that you are able to accept that your past and future selves are different, but that doesn’t make either of them bad. What I got from your story is that we should all be the best version of ourselves that we can be and that changes throughout our lives.
It’s great to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same out of date rehashed material. Fantastic read.
Lizzie, you rock! Fantastic read, thanks for sharing your story with us.
I am a man but I also found your words very inspiring. Life is hard and we all struggle at times, we all fail at times, and we all hurt and get hurt at times. Regrets are part of our learning curve and we’ve got to respect them.
But life consists of moving on, always.
Such an inspirational read! I really like the way you motivate the women with your life experiences. Keep the good work up!
Lizzie, you rock, I really happy to read your story.thanks for sharing your story with us.
I am so happy for you that you are at peace with yourself. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story. Keep it up!
Lizzie, you rock! Thanks for sharing your story with us.
WOW! Lizzie is just amazing! counted 34 countries on her travel map! How come an accomplished free and SUBA diver such as yourself missed on Thailand and the South East Asia? I love dirt bikes, Diving and travelling but these days I have to stay put to look after my pups. If you have any ideas on how to travel with them 🙂 will be really life changing 🙂
Wow, the story is very inspirational! You are living a committed life, and I am sure you have learned and become much better from the experiences you have gained. Hoping to hear more from your stories, Lizzie!
Lizzie, you fantastic! We also love an active life. We like to ride our bicycles very much. Yes, and for health helps. Even our dog sometimes runs after bicycles.
I always prefer an active life and peaceful life ,
I may be late to the party but I just read this and am blown away. You are an incredible powerhouse and I have the biggest respect for you, your vision and tenacity!
Keep on doing you.
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