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Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Okay, my name is actually Shannon Bradley-Colleary.
On Marriage & Sex: Do you fantasize you’re a hot-blooded Flamenco dancer partnered by Chris Hemsworth whom — after an international dance competition in Firenze, Italia — drinks vodka out of your belly button?
On Asshat Recovery: While I patiently waited for my ex-boyfriend to come out of his Cave, I didn’t realize the Cave he was in was another woman’s vagina.
If you answered yes to any of these questions then this blog is for you.
I live in Los Angeles with my screenwriter husband Henry and my two daughters Clare (14) and Bridget (12).
I began in Los Angeles as a Wacktress (Waiter/Actress).
There were too many ignominies to chronicle here, but you can read them in my Hollywood section.
Then I became a married, pregnant screenwriter, working, between bites of pizza, for Warner Bros., Lifetime Television, TBS and Disney.
Ultimately I evolved into a memoirist/blogger and a very bad, yet still bossy AYSO soccer referee for my daughters’ Girls-Under-8 team.
I coined the phrase “The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful” when I was 8-months pregnant with Bridget, standing in line at the meat counter at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills.
Five butchers (count ‘em … five!) were helping a hot, non-pregnant Pussycat Doll select a pound of cackle while I festered swollenly nearby trying to order one freaking carne asada!
Eventually I passed out from hypoglycemia due to LACK OF RED MEAT and when the paramedics came they forgot to collect my 50-lbs.-up limp form off the ground because they were too busy helping the Pussycat Doll carry her boneless, skinless chicken cutlets to her car.
I started my blog because I needed a reinvention.
Since then I’ve been syndicated by “O” The Oprah Magazine, The Huffington Post, Medium, Purple Clover, London’s Daily MailOnline, BlogHer and more.
My work has been featured on The Today Show, NPR, CNN, HuffPo Live and more.
I’m the authoress of three well-reviewed memoirs, one which received a Kirkus star, and one that is being translated into Chinese and will be published in China the summer of 2016!
With a little extra pancake, deodorant, a pantyliner, some natural lighting and exfoliating with the pubic hair of virgin Mormon missionaries, I can still look like this.
If you’re a brand and you’d like to advertise with me or media that would like to interview me you can contact me at email@example.com or call me at 310-463-2267.