About this Mustachioed Wife Dominatrix

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Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Okay, my name is actually Shannon Bradley-Colleary.

ON MARRIAGE AND SEX:  Do you feel bad about fantasizing that you’re a hot-blooded Flamenco dancer having a torrid affair with George Clooney after an international dance competition in Firenze, Italia after which he drinks vodka out of your belly button? (Not that I have that fantasy. This is hypothetical).

ON PARENTING:  Were you accused by your then 4-year old of “Cutting the Fun!”? (Again, hypothetical).

ON BEAUTY: Do you wish you knew how all of the celebrities over 40 look so good? I mean, are they moisturizing with yak semen?

ON BODY IMAGE: Could you solve Poverty if you spent less time wondering how to stop your thighs from rubbing together?

ON HOLLYWOOD: Have you ever wondered if Gwyneth Paltrow stole your life? 

If you answered yes to any of these questions then this blog is for you and you should definitely sign up for my weekly newsletter so you won’t spiral out of control in the black nothingness of space like Sandra Bullock, only minus the part where she gets back to earth. (Thanks to George Clooney, I might add. I see there’s a recurring theme to this post).

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ABOUT ME:

I live in Los Angeles with my screenwriter husband Henry and my two daughters Clare (11) and Bridget (9). I began in Los Angeles as a Wacktress (waiter/actress – mostly waiter):

Shannon Bradley Colleary

I know. Wasn’t I cute?

Then became a married, pregnant screenwriter:

Shannon Bradley Colleary

Still cute in a chubby, gassy, pregnant way.

Ultimately evolving into an I-need-some-creative-satisfaction blogger and a very bad, yet still bossy AYSO soccer referee for my daughters’ Girls-Under-8 team.

AYSO Soccer Referee

Not cute at all. No cuteness here.

I coined the phrase “The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful” when I was 8-months pregnant with Bridget, standing in line at the meat counter at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills.

Five butchers (count ‘em … five!) were helping a young, non-pregnant Pussycat Doll select a pound of cackle while I festered swollenly nearby trying to order one freaking carne asada!

Eventually I passed out from hypoglycemia due to LACK OF RED MEAT and when the paramedics came they forgot to collect my 50-lbs.-up limp form off the ground because they were too busy helping the Pussycat Doll carry her boneless, skinless chicken cutlets to her car.

I started my blog because I needed a reinvention and loved the idea of an entrepreneurial business and world dominion.

In case you forgot due to a medical marijuana overdose …

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I’ve been syndicated by AOL, London’s Daily MailOnline, The Today Show, CNN, Studio11LA, NPR, Raising America with Kyra Phillips, Babble and BlogHer. I’m a contributing blogger at The Huffington Post.

I was named one of BlogHer’s Voices of The Year in 2011, 2012 and 2013 and was selected to be one of the 12 KeyNote Speakers at the 2013 BlogHer conference in Chicago.

TWFKAB trivia:

I’m naked on the internet because I had “fine art” nudes (emphasis on “fine art”) taken at age 26 and 46 to have better body image.

I’ve had three stepfathers and they all had mustaches. Now I have a mustache.

I lived on a boat named The Allegro in Antioch, California for six months when I was 9. I also get seasick.

I speak fluent Spanish. I’m particularly expressive with the curse words. Chinga mis dedos me duelen de typing!

My husband wrote the classic action film Face-Off with Nicolas Cage and John Travolta. He also wrote Lara Croft Tomb Raider, but fortunately Angelina didn’t try to steal him from me. I think I could take her if I had to.

I danced as a Suicide Blonde for INXS at the MTV video awards in 1990. My platinum wig fell off mid-routine so they never actually cut to me on camera. Then Oliver Stone tried to pick me up in the parking lot.

Gwyneth Paltrow came to see a play I was in before she was famous. She played my role in a different production a few months later. Evidently our career paths diverged from there.

I dated David Schwimmer and Brandon Lee (Bruce Lee’s son, for those who aren’t familiar with his too-brief body of work) before they became famous. People frequently become famous after meeting me (also after reading me – pass it on).

We took our daughters to South Africa in February of 2013 on safari and didn’t get eaten by leopards.

I want to grow up to be just like my husband. My daughters are my life.

Shannon Bradley Colleary

With a little extra pancake on the face, an incredible photographer (Beth Sanders) deodorant, a pantyliner, some natural lighting and exfoliating with the pubic hair of virgin Mormon missionaries, I can still look like this.

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105 comments

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  1. Catherine Dong
    Catherine Dong 8 October, 2011, 22:08

    You are so hilarious!! I haven’t been reading your blog recently because I’m trying not to read anything FUN, but I may have to rethink that…

    Reply this comment
  2. Alexandra
    Alexandra 10 October, 2011, 21:53

    It is lovely to sit down and get to talk to you.

    BlogHer was such a whir, no decent time with anybody.

    Pleasure to meet you,(again) sweet lady!!

    Reply this comment
  3. Heather
    Heather 18 October, 2011, 19:22

    I’ve been blog hunting for so long. I want to read things that make me laugh at something other than bad sentence structure (I can see it but can hardly avoid it myself) You are it! So great! And hilarious!

    Reply this comment
  4. Jrob
    Jrob 17 November, 2011, 16:42

    Okay, after all these years… (you know we go way back) I finally figured out the very best thing I enjoy the most about your writing. The part I will always admire and envy… It’s the “desolate warehouse” – you must tell me over our next vino session – how you think of these effortlessly surprising turns that pinpoint your point right on the dot. Solid gold! (And yes, I’m sober and I mean every single word!)

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon Colleary
      Shannon Colleary 18 November, 2011, 07:36

      Jrob — you know I feel the same about you. Even if you “tits aren’t up to it” you are one of my favorite writers. xo

      Reply this comment
  5. Jodi Firth
    Jodi Firth 18 November, 2011, 10:07

    Wow! What an amazing “about me” bio you’ve got. Now I can tell ALL my friends that I read the blog of a famous woman who knows and dated tons of stars and her husband wrote Face-Off. (Tell him way to go – I effin LOVE that movie) Cool – I’m like .2% famous now by semi-association. Kim K had to get her start somewhere right?

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon Colleary
      Shannon Colleary 18 November, 2011, 11:19

      I like to think I’ve lived on the edge of celebrity while never really being allowed in the club. And I love Face Off too. Very proud of my hubby. I have to brag because he won’t.

      Reply this comment
  6. inez coffman
    inez coffman 23 November, 2011, 19:03

    Your blog is amazing! I cannot stop laughing!!! You are hilarious and so true to the heart – thank you for sharing!

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon Colleary
      Shannon Colleary 23 November, 2011, 23:19

      Inez — thank you for reading. I am an insecure writer always in need of approval. Why couldn’t I have been a dentist? Happy Thanksgiving xo

      Reply this comment
  7. Shannon Colleary
    Shannon Colleary 13 December, 2011, 10:56

    so glad you stopped by!

    Reply this comment
  8. Tharin Wendell
    Tharin Wendell 15 December, 2011, 13:03

    Classic commentary! I knew Mike back at UC Berkeley (we roomed with the same people… Claire Lim, Brian Rubin, and Scott Morrison). You are too funny! I have to turn my wife Kathy on to your blog. Our girls are 13 and 16, and we live for them too, but now that they are teenagers, I think they just see us as standing in their way… but we are GOOD at it! I agree with you… I think you could take Jolie down in a NY minute!

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon Colleary
      Shannon Colleary 15 December, 2011, 15:22

      Hi Tharin — yes, Henry/M is losing hair. But he’s like Ed Harris – it just further enunciates those penetrating blue eyes. Thanks for reading!

      Reply this comment
  9. Ronni
    Ronni 17 December, 2011, 22:03

    I loved the Tomb Raider movies. :D I wish they’d have done the third one.

    Your bio is hilarious!

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon Colleary
      Shannon Colleary 18 December, 2011, 09:42

      thanks luv

      Reply this comment
      • Prudence
        Prudence 3 February, 2012, 06:59

        I did like this one as well but I have a fond place in my heart for mliendss action flicks from my youth. But I’ve got to say that I personally feel that Travolta and Cage never really bring much to the roles they play. I’ve never really liked Travolta and I’m on the fence with Cage. I probably find him really enjoyable in about half his movies.

        Reply this comment
        • Shannon
          Shannon Author 4 February, 2012, 09:28

          Nicolas Cage is an odd one. He can absolutely elevate or destroy a film.

          Reply this comment
  10. Annie Pazoo
    Annie Pazoo 29 January, 2012, 09:46

    Wow! So glad to have found you via Design Mom. How much does a mini-brow lift and blepharoplasty cost? I’m about ten years past the need for one. Funny how more than 45 years of “I’m against plastic surgery” can melt away in one morning glance into the mirror. Repeated 365 times. Deets, please.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 29 January, 2012, 12:25

      Hi Annie — I went to an incredible guy. Dr. Jonathan Hoenig in Beverly Hills. He’s pricey because he’s good. I wanted something very conservative. I didn’t want to look surprised. The cost was $7,000. Yes. I know. But I’m thrilled with the natural-looking results. And I sold one of my kidneys.

      Reply this comment
  11. Rowland
    Rowland 17 February, 2012, 00:01

    So here’s the deal. You complimented my writing in a comment on your HuffPost post. I responded. Apparently, because I referenced my (amateur) blog, I was blacklisted.

    Whatever.

    I wanted to write and make sure that you know that I appreciated your comment. As I mentioned in my reply to you that HP didn’t post (which, after I send this, they’ll post along with the second one I sent when they didn’t post the original response, and they’ll do it just to humiliate me – how do they know?!), I’ve been working on my first novel length story for two years. Two damned years. God. Anyway, every compliment matters, and since you complimented me, I decided to stalk you until you knew that I appreciated it.

    You might know that now, which means I can go to bed and wake up late and go to meetings and then come home and write some more instead of earn an income. (My wife is thrilled with my writing. My earning too much money has always been her worst nightmare.)

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 17 February, 2012, 10:54

      Hi Rowland — wtf is up with Huffington Post blacklisting you? Maybe they thought you were spam or something. Anyhow I loved your writing. Keep doing it. Don’t stop. It all adds up. I am not where I’d like to be professionally but am trying. There’s a great book by Steven Pressfield called “The War of Art.” Pick it up immediately. It will kick your writing into high gear.

      Reply this comment
  12. Jay
    Jay 17 February, 2012, 01:34

    I rather enjoyed your huffpo story and would have loved to have been able to shoot with you :) I shoot women all the time that worry too much and so far, I’ve been lucky enough to show 100% of them how amazing they are. Great read!

    Jay
    cinema-photography.net

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 17 February, 2012, 10:55

      Hi Jay — thanks for following me here. And keep up the good work with women. We need to be seen through a loving lens.

      Reply this comment
  13. leigh
    leigh 20 February, 2012, 04:51

    Ummm, where do I begin. Loved reading about your evolution. I’m in the midst of a devolution, I’m blaming it on my children. I sing the Tings-Tings song “That’s not my name” all the time to them. I’ll be checking in regularly. Cheers.

    Reply this comment
  14. Debi (Truthful Mommy)
    Debi (Truthful Mommy) 23 February, 2012, 15:20

    Shannon,

    I am so glad that you are writing at AL now or I would have never known to find your blog and fall in love with it. You write so powerfully and with such personality.
    This freaking about page has me crying from laughter. This has insured you a spot on my coveted (:D) blog roll. You rock my socks off.
    I can’t wait to meet you at the AL party at BlogHer!
    XO

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 23 February, 2012, 18:20

      Thanks Debi — I look forward to meeting and reading you too!! I love Aiming Low. It’s my new philosophy in life.

      Reply this comment
  15. Pro Choice Mama
    Pro Choice Mama 8 March, 2012, 18:05

    I enjoyed your piece on why you are pro-choice. I also became more pro-choice after my kids were born. Your writing is extremely entertaining — thank you for sharing your thoughts and creativity! I am looking forward to reading more.

    Reply this comment
  16. Leilani
    Leilani 7 May, 2012, 10:28

    Great, simply great! You are hilarious and I look forward to reading your posts. I feel I can really relate to you. Thanks for being real!

    Reply this comment
  17. Clayton Samaniego
    Clayton Samaniego 27 June, 2012, 07:59

    Hello, I wanted to follow up with you about an email I sent you last week in regards to a possible partnership with us. Did you receive it? Please let me know…..Thank you, Clayton.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 27 June, 2012, 09:43

      Hi Clayton — I’m not sure we’re a good fit just now. But thanks for the inquiry.

      Reply this comment
  18. Lucretia
    Lucretia 31 July, 2012, 14:11

    See now… it should not have taken me this long to discover you. I’m absolutely sure we are friend-of-a-friend on multiple fronts. Now I just have to figure out who all to berate for not telling me to come read your blog Shannon! ;)
    Wish I were going to be in NY this week – I’d hunt you down. Maybe next year!

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 31 July, 2012, 16:01

      Lucretia — I’m so glad you did find me. Where are you so I can stalk you??

      Reply this comment
  19. Delfin Joaquin Paris III
    Delfin Joaquin Paris III 4 August, 2012, 22:33

    You had me all the way until “pantyliner.” Then, I vomited. Well done!

    Seriously, I loved meeting you at BlogHer12. I hope to Jehovah that you are going to the Non-Con.

    Also, I have a treatment I’d like to pass to you. It’s basically Citizen Kane, but with black people. This is a brilliant idea! Black Citizen Kane! C’mon, you’d watch it. Admit it.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 5 August, 2012, 17:39

      The pantyliner is definitely a cockblocker. It was lovely to meet you as well. Are you serious about the black Citizen Kane? I should warn you I may be the only cinefile who didn’t love that movie. In any case I’d be happy to be helpful in any way I can.

      Reply this comment
  20. Jose Ortiz
    Jose Ortiz 5 September, 2012, 15:02

    Shannon,

    I read an excerpt from your book, “Into the Child:..”. What I have is a suggestion, not a criticizm and that is with regard to how you now communicate with God. I offer this from my own experience. Considering God in the same way you would your father or grandfather, wouldn’t you keep communication open all the time instead of just when you “need” him. Don’t you think he wants to talk to you in the good times and the bad or difficult times. If you do approach him this way, I suspect you will have much more to write in the future on this subject and, in a way that may touch a lot of people. I greatly enjoyed not only what I read in the excerpt but the writing style particularly.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 5 September, 2012, 15:14

      Hi Jose — thank you for your comment and suggestion. I can be a bit of a know-it-all and you reminded me to remain humble and be open to other people’s points of view. xo

      Reply this comment
  21. Fern DeVilliers
    Fern DeVilliers 8 October, 2012, 17:41

    Fun times! Am following. :)

    Reply this comment
  22. alison kaufman
    alison kaufman 8 November, 2012, 13:36

    Just stumbled upon you today. The HuffPo link on facebook led me to your article and beyond.
    Thank you for the laughs today.
    Love your style, thanks for making our age look so G-damn good.
    Wishing you much success and happiness.
    Ali

    Reply this comment
  23. Lynn MacDonald aka All Fooked Up
    Lynn MacDonald aka All Fooked Up 15 November, 2012, 19:25

    So Shannon, I’m checking you out because I just got an email from your advertising gal asking if I wanted to advertise on your blog. Well, I don’t actually read many blogs (since I write my own) but I read a bit of yours and you seem like fun. In fact you remind me a bit of me, when I was younger and IF I understood grammar and actually knew how to write.

    So advertising on your blog huh?? I’m always looking for opportunities that actually work without actually involving any work.

    Should I? advertise that is? Also, my daughter is moving to LA in January to pursue a screenwriting career. She has sitcom specs now. Any advice??? Wanna take her under your wing? That actually would be worth paying for, :)

    Sorry about typos, it’s my stupid iPad. Take care.

    Lynn MacDonald

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 15 November, 2012, 22:52

      Lynn – we met a couple of years ago at BlogHer. I remember your blog name! Listen, have your daughter call me anytime. I’d be happy to talk to her about screenwriting.

      Reply this comment
  24. carolyna
    carolyna 15 March, 2013, 13:16

    Most awesome bio I have ever read!

    Reply this comment
  25. Elaine Griffin
    Elaine Griffin 3 April, 2013, 14:06

    How have I not experienced your blog yet? Love it. I’m speaking at BlogHer this year, will you be attending? Would love to have a “hello!”

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 3 April, 2013, 14:12

      Hi Elaine — I’m not actually planning to attend this year based on finances. But if I can sell one of my kidneys I might make it.

      Reply this comment
  26. Doug Smith
    Doug Smith 11 April, 2013, 13:39

    I caught the last part of the NPR show you were on today. I did not hear the particulars of your rape, but I felt the program was great and timely and I applaud you for having the courage to tell your story.

    Reply this comment
  27. Mark Harvey Levine
    Mark Harvey Levine 1 August, 2013, 10:04

    Did you ever take a class at the Groundlings? I think I was in it with you. Anyway, I really enjoy your blog!

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 2 August, 2013, 10:41

      Yes I did Mark! You have a great memory. Boy was I lousy at Improv. Soo nervous.

      Reply this comment
  28. Mark Harvey Levine
    Mark Harvey Levine 6 August, 2013, 14:47

    Ha! You weren’t bad at all! And I was so nervous there, too. I ended up kind of hating it. Nice to see you being so successful.

    Reply this comment
  29. Rhonda
    Rhonda 30 August, 2013, 23:56

    I stumbled onto your piece about Brandon Lee. I am so impressed I don’t even know what to say. you have a way of putting into words what I don’t even realize I feel. your honesty is refreshing. I don’t even know your last name but I will, because I’d love to read more.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 31 August, 2013, 10:50

      Rhonda thanks so much for the kind words. My last name is Colleary. Best, S

      Reply this comment
  30. Chloe Jeffreys
    Chloe Jeffreys 13 September, 2013, 11:39

    And you are still freaking gorgeous, even after all of that.

    Reply this comment
  31. Yvette
    Yvette 8 October, 2013, 20:10

    Hi Shannon,
    I think it’s fabulous that you and your husband are committed to keeping the passion alive in your marriage.

    Next Tuesday nite at 8pm est, DIVINE AND DIRTY TALK RADIO will host a show about daring to toss societal stigmas to the wind by encouraging women in long term committed relationships to dare to walk on “the wild side”sexually. We’d love to have you as a guest to help our audience members to ” turn there hair loose” and add some spark to committed relationships. We would also promote your work on topic.

    Looking forward to discussion…

    Sincerely,
    Yvette

    Reply this comment
  32. Princess Burlap
    Princess Burlap 11 October, 2013, 09:15

    Lady Shannon, Bringer of the Belly Laughs,

    How do I love thy blogerific hilarity? Let me not count the ways, for I shall be here all day. Let me instead say that in writing my brand new blog (regaling the masses with tales of life, love, and the occasional pursuit of sperm), I oft hunt about the blogosphere for others who inspire me, make me laugh, and help my own cheese to stand a little less alone. In that quest, I can say that I would rather chew the flattened frog carcass to to the left of my driveway than read almost every blog I’ve found. YOURS, Madam, is the exception. I adore your dry humor and wet sense of irony. Applause.

    XOXO
    Princess Burlap

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 11 October, 2013, 21:21

      Hello PB — thank you ever so much for stopping by and lavishing me with your affection. I’ve popped over to your site and find we are kindred spirits. We must keep in touch forevermore (which sounds a bit creepy now that I think of it.)

      Reply this comment
  33. Princess Burlap
    Princess Burlap 12 October, 2013, 15:04

    I’ve already initiated said in-touch keeping via your provided America Online electronic mail (just call me Creepy McCreeperson). In this email, I professed such adulatory zest for you and your blog that I couldn’t imagine not advertising upon it. Very few bloggers are on my peculiar page, and you? Well. You’re my flavor of whack. I like that. I’m trying to put my stuff on BlogHer where applicable, I’m up for The Babble 100 (along with 581 other bloggers and counting), but really, TWFKAB is where it’s at.

    Reply this comment
  34. Aaron Molinar
    Aaron Molinar 22 October, 2013, 21:03

    Hi Shannon,
    Wow….so I’m sitting on the couch with my amazing 12 year old daughter watching TV. Well, she’s watching TV as I multi-task plugging away on my laptop when she tells me how she googled herself once and found a funny baseball picture of herself when she was just 6. So I googled myself and found my name in your Blog…had to laugh at the reference to the “track and football God” and then you reminded me of your friend Viv…If I recall she later broke my heart. Ouch!!! Glad to hear you and she are still good friends. Ed Bushor and I are still very close friends and business partners. Closer now as adults striving to be better men, husbands, & fathers than we were back in the day…God is good.

    Sincerely,
    Aaron Molinar

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 23 October, 2013, 10:15

      Hi Aaron — Now I’ve got to go find that post to make sure I didn’t write anything too incriminating about you. I certainly hope Vance Schmitz doesn’t google himself. He might take a hit out on me. Anyhow it’s so nice to hear from you. I certainly had a massive crush on you in high school and have never really forgiven Viv for dating you. Plus she’s more gorgeous than ever. It’s a good thing I love her. Having said that I also had a huge crush on Ed as well. I was a two-men kind of woman.

      Two anecdotes you may appreciate. I was running track after school — which I hated BTW — and ran through a little cloud of gnats. I brushed them off of my face and, as I came to the finish line, I noticed you on the track. You stopped to talk to me, which made me quite swoony. I walked away thrilled only to arrive in the locker room to discover that I had one live gnat stuck to the Chapstick on my lips beating his little wings. Mortification ensued and I think I ducked you for the rest of the year.

      And now to that scoundrel Ed. He was the TA in Mr. Kennison’s class and I was one of the students. One day, as I was walking to class, Ed came sprinting toward me across the quad calling my name. I couldn’t believe he even knew my name because we’d never spoken before. I wondered if maybe he wanted to walk to class with me. Instead he put a stack of heavy text books in my arms and asked if I minded taking them to Kennison’s since he had something else to do. The books weighed about 50 pounds. Sigh. You and Ed kept me humble. xo S

      Reply this comment
  35. Jon M
    Jon M 14 November, 2013, 18:06

    That’s so interesting on the screenwriting! I do illustrating, like comics…currently working on two graphic novels. It’s slow going, but I’m working on it everyday. I’ll definitely take a deeper look at your website in the coming weeks…it all looks and sounds interesting! Jon:)

    Reply this comment
  36. Pete
    Pete 15 December, 2013, 03:49

    Your readers comments are so superficial……..in a sincere sort of way.

    Reply this comment
  37. Brooke Sarro
    Brooke Sarro 15 December, 2013, 09:29

    Loved browsing this site! As a creative writer and artist, it was rather enjoyable :)

    Reply this comment
  38. candy
    candy 23 December, 2013, 19:34

    Hello,

    We are a B2B e-commerce company, we wanna buy some text link ads from you. Would you please tell me the price for a text link on the homepage of http://thewomanformerlyknownasbeautiful.com for 3 months?

    If you have the list of PR4+ websites which sell text link ads on the homepage,please do not hesitate to let me know?

    Sincerely Yours,
    Candy

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 23 December, 2013, 23:28

      Hi Candy — I do place link ads for sites that are compatible with my own. Email me directly with the links you want me to place so I can vet them and then we can negotiate a price. shannoncolleary@aol.com

      Reply this comment
  39. Susan Oster
    Susan Oster 30 May, 2014, 09:36

    Love this and shared with friends – dying to read everything you’ve written. Don’t judge me on my website! We moved and I haven’t even updated the contact info. And don’t plan too this week either. (Been 11 months).

    You’re awesome.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 30 May, 2014, 09:38

      Susan thanks so much! I could say the same thing. Don’t judge me because of my website!!

      Reply this comment
  40. Sarah
    Sarah 7 July, 2014, 19:33

    This was hilarious and you are kind of AMAZING (and very beautiful!). I’m making you my idol now.

    Reply this comment
  41. Betty
    Betty 15 July, 2014, 15:59

    Hi Shannon,

    Been quietly browsing your site for the last couple of days. Firstly, you’re way prettier and (from what I could see in that quick video with Brandon, and all your writing here) more talented than Gywneth, who I have NEVER been able to stand (how good was the ending in ‘Seven’?)
    Where can I get a non-kindle version of ‘Smash Crash Burn’?
    Much respect for putting it out there, warts and all, I think all women can relate to these stories.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 16 July, 2014, 00:01

      Dear Betty my darling, I wish I could offer you a non-Kindle version of SC and Burn, unfortunately I’ve not yet found a traditional publisher. But will let you now STAT when that happens! And thanks for quietly browsing. It keeps me typing.

      Reply this comment
  42. Rebecca Stay
    Rebecca Stay 18 July, 2014, 10:06

    You had me at the Princess Bride quote.

    Reply this comment
  43. Grace
    Grace 23 July, 2014, 13:37

    You’re very funny but I think spot on about many things. I’ve been in a relationship with a really nice guy for 19 months long distance. He takes me to very nice places, i.e., plays, restaurants, romantic walks. Yes, here comes the “BUT”. But I feel like we are not sexually compatible. He loves all things I do to please him, but when it comes to me, I hear oh my arthritis in the back of my neck really hurts when I’m top, or I had a bad experience with oral sex, I have arthritis in my fingers so it’s painful to finger you but I’ll try. I’m really getting sick of it. He’s 53 so get over your bad oral experience, but he likes it done to him. I have repeatedly shown him how I like to be kissed, touched. He keeps saying please be patient with me. I’m just not used to having to work this much to click with someone sexually. The only way I can get satisfied is if I am on top. That’s not a bad thing sometimes, but I feel like he likes that all the time so he can just lay there mainly. If he’s on top, he can hardly keep an erection so he jumps off of me, saying oh my head, my knees. I am doing all the work and he’s getting the benefits. That’s how I feel. I think he is a selfish lover. What do you think?

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 23 July, 2014, 13:44

      Hello Grace — I love that this comment ended up on my ABOUT page. Never had one quite like it here. Okay, so. He’s only 53 and he’s already this disabled? I find this worrisome because what’s it going to be like when he’s 73? You might end up being his nurse, rather than his romantic partner. I can’t really advise you as I suspect there are many ways in which he please you out of bed. I think you have to ask yourself how important the sex component is in your relationship?? Are other things between you more important? If so, you may have to adjust your expectations because I doubt he’ll change. But if sex is very important you might want to think about moving on?

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  44. STAN
    STAN 13 August, 2014, 09:56

    I am a mental health author who has over 300 book reviews on Amazon. My book is popular and I write for many national websites. Who can I talk to about contributing articles the Huffington Post.

    I would like to talk to someone and provide sample articles and references.

    Can you help me.

    Stan Popovich

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    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 13 August, 2014, 09:59

      Hi Stan — I’m a contributor at HuffPo. If there’s an article you want me to forward to their editorial blogteam I can take a look.

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  45. Sally
    Sally 14 August, 2014, 21:45

    you got me at panty liner. woman you are so funny and a breath of fresh air.

    Reply this comment
  46. ERIC JOHNSON
    ERIC JOHNSON 24 August, 2014, 11:55

    We went to high school together. The whole time we were in high school we only talked to each other once.
    I only know one thing for sure about your sex life (or lack there of) in high school. You never did anything with me.
    I was Upland High class of 84. When you were a senior you had a class in the north east part of campus. That is the part of UHS near James Games arcade. We used to pass by each other in the halls during first semester.
    You should remember seeing me. When I was 16 I had to buy my clothes in big and tall stores.
    I am now way bigger than you remember. Now outlaw bikers try to recruit me to fight in their turf wars. Outlaw bikers leave me alone when they find out my idea of a good time is a Star Trek convention.
    We all age differently. The older I get the more I look like an ogre.

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    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 25 August, 2014, 10:33

      Okay Eric — just had to check out your babyface in my ’83 yearbook. It can’t be possible that that sweet face now belongs to an ogre? Anyhow thanks for reminding me of school days. We just had our 30th reunion last October. I guess this means yours must be coming up!

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  47. Shannon Colleary
    Shannon Colleary 17 December, 2011, 21:43

    Thanks jamie!

    Reply this comment
  48. Neeraj
    Neeraj 5 February, 2012, 16:50

    The last few books I have read and would hlgihy recommend are:Song of the Hummingbird, Graciela LimonThe Wild Trees, Richard Preston (saw him interviewed on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and it sounded like a terrific book)The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon History of Love, Nicole Krauss I just finished The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls- it was also excellent. I am now reading The Blessings of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children by Wendy Mogel Ph.D. and The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai.Are you sorry you asked?!?

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  49. Shannon
    Shannon Author 5 February, 2012, 21:13

    Somehow I seem to be getting someone else’s comments. But I’ll take them. I loved “Blessings of a Skinned Knee.” Will check out your other recommendations.

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