Hi! My name is Shannon. I live in Los Angeles with my screenwriter husband Henry and my two daughters Clare (10) and Bridget (8).
I began as an L.A. Wacktress (waiter/actress – mostly waiter):
Then became a married, pregnant L.A. screenwriter:
Ultimately evolving into an I-need-some-creative-satisfaction blogger and a very bad, yet still bossy AYSO soccer referee for my daughters’ Girls Under 8 team.
My evolution has been humbling. I coined the phrase “The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful” when I was 7-months pregnant with Bridget, standing in line at the meat counter at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills. Five butchers (count ‘em…five!) were helping a young, non-pregnant Pussycat Doll select a pound of cackle while I festered swollenly nearby trying to order one freaking carne asada!
Eventually I passed out from hypoglycemia due to LACK OF RED MEAT and when the paramedics came they forgot to collect my 50-lbs.-up limp form off the ground because they were too busy helping the Pussycat Doll carry her boneless, skinless chicken cutlets to her car.
WHY I STARTED MY BLOG:
I’ve worked for thirteen years as a screenwriter of film and movies-of-the-week. I feel so lucky to have the work, but more often than not what originally excited me about a project changes drastically in development. For better or worse the blog is all mine. It won’t pay for college (maybe the occasional bottle of gin?), but it’s my mistress who I’m always eager to get to.
MY GENETIC PRE-DISPOSITION FOR BRAGGING:
Several of my posts have been syndicated by: AOL, London’s MailOnline, NPR, The Today Show, Studio11LA, NPR, Babble, Opposing Viewpoints and BlogHer. I’m a contributing blogger at The Huffington Post, MomsLa and Aiming Low.RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME:
I’ve had three stepfathers and they all had mustaches. Now I have a mustache.
I lived on a boat named The Allegro in Antioch, California for six months when I was 9. I also get seasick.
I speak fluent Spanish. I’m particularly expressive with the curse words. Chinga mis dedos me duelen de typing!
My husband wrote the classic action film Face-Off with Nicolas Cage and John Travolta. He also wrote Lara Croft Tomb Raider, but fortunately Angelina didn’t try to steal him from me. I think I could take her if I had to.
I danced as a Suicide Blonde for INXS at the MTV video awards in 1990. My platinum wig fell off mid-routine so they never actually cut to me on camera.
Gwyneth Paltrow came to see a play I was in before she was famous. She played my role in a different production a few months later. Evidently our career paths separated from there.
I have a digestive disorder I won’t name (IBS – irresistible beauty syndrome). After a year of profound suffering anti-depressants made it livable. Also, IBS is very sexy. Men flock in droves when they hear about it.
I had a mini-brow lift and blepharoplasty when I was of-a-certain-age despite the fact that I’m not vain or shallow in any way. Since then I no longer judge anyone who has plastic or cosmetic surgery. Except maybe Kate Gosselin because she scares me. Would not want to meet her in a desolate warehouse.
I’m obsessed with the Boden catalogue. It’s my Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. I want to live there, swimming in polka dots, nibbling on loud prints enjoying the phantasmagoria. However, they do charge you money for the clothes. Which just seems like bullcrap to me. In an effort to beat my addiction I started a No Shopping Project called #71dressesin71days, during which I must wear the 71 dresses I own (I am the Imelda Marcos of dresses) in 71 days before I can buy even a used thong.
I love to arm wrestle other moms and win. Especially my friend call-name Tango 5-6 because she can do one-arm push-ups.
I admire my husband. I want to grow up to be just like him. My daughters are my life.
My Favorite Blogs:
Good Day Regular People, I Am Not The Babysitter, Sassy Curmudgeon, The Bloggess, Between Parents, Design Mom, MomsLa, Aiming Low, Huffington Post Women, Earth Mother Just Means I’m Dusty and Generation Fabulous