• About this Mustachioed Wife Dominatrix

    Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Okay, my name is actually Shannon Bradley-Colleary.

    ON MARRIAGE AND SEX:  Do you feel bad about fantasizing that you’re a hot-blooded Flamenco dancer having a torrid affair with George Clooney after an international dance competition in Firenze, Italia after which he drinks vodka out of your belly button? (Not that I have that fantasy. This is hypothetical).

    ON PARENTING:  Were you accused by your then 4-year old of “Cutting the Fun!”? (Again, hypothetical).

    ON BEAUTY: Do you wish you knew how all of the celebrities over 40 look so good? I mean, are they moisturizing with yak semen?

    ON BODY IMAGE: Could you solve Poverty if you spent less time wondering how to stop your thighs from rubbing together?

    ON HOLLYWOOD: Have you ever wondered if Gwyneth Paltrow stole your life? 

    If you answered yes to any of these questions then this blog is for you and you should definitely sign up for my weekly newsletter so you won’t spiral out of control in the black nothingness of space like Sandra Bullock, only minus the part where she gets back to earth. (Thanks to George Clooney, I might add. I see there’s a recurring theme to this post).

    SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER HERE 

    ABOUT ME:

    I live in Los Angeles with my screenwriter husband Henry and my two daughters Clare (11) and Bridget (9). I began in Los Angeles as a Wacktress (waiter/actress – mostly waiter):

    Shannon Bradley Colleary

    I know. Wasn’t I cute?

    Then became a married, pregnant screenwriter:

    Shannon Bradley Colleary

    Still cute in a chubby, gassy, pregnant way.

    Ultimately evolving into an I-need-some-creative-satisfaction blogger and a very bad, yet still bossy AYSO soccer referee for my daughters’ Girls-Under-8 team.

    AYSO Soccer Referee

    Not cute at all. No cuteness here.

    I coined the phrase “The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful” when I was 8-months pregnant with Bridget, standing in line at the meat counter at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills.

    Five butchers (count ‘em … five!) were helping a young, non-pregnant Pussycat Doll select a pound of cackle while I festered swollenly nearby trying to order one freaking carne asada!

    Eventually I passed out from hypoglycemia due to LACK OF RED MEAT and when the paramedics came they forgot to collect my 50-lbs.-up limp form off the ground because they were too busy helping the Pussycat Doll carry her boneless, skinless chicken cutlets to her car.

    I started my blog because I needed a reinvention and loved the idea of an entrepreneurial business and world dominion.

    In case you forgot due to a medical marijuana overdose …

    SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER HERE

    I’ve been syndicated by AOL, London’s Daily MailOnline, The Today Show, CNN, Studio11LA, NPR, Raising America with Kyra Phillips, Babble and BlogHer. I’m a contributing blogger at The Huffington Post.

    I was named one of BlogHer’s Voices of The Year in 2011, 2012 and 2013 and was selected to be one of the 12 KeyNote Speakers at the 2013 BlogHer conference in Chicago.

    TWFKAB trivia:

    I’m naked on the internet because I had “fine art” nudes (emphasis on “fine art”) taken at age 26 and 46 to have better body image.

    I’ve had three stepfathers and they all had mustaches. Now I have a mustache.

    I lived on a boat named The Allegro in Antioch, California for six months when I was 9. I also get seasick.

    I speak fluent Spanish. I’m particularly expressive with the curse words. Chinga mis dedos me duelen de typing!

    My husband wrote the classic action film Face-Off with Nicolas Cage and John Travolta. He also wrote Lara Croft Tomb Raider, but fortunately Angelina didn’t try to steal him from me. I think I could take her if I had to.

    I danced as a Suicide Blonde for INXS at the MTV video awards in 1990. My platinum wig fell off mid-routine so they never actually cut to me on camera. Then Oliver Stone tried to pick me up in the parking lot.

    Gwyneth Paltrow came to see a play I was in before she was famous. She played my role in a different production a few months later. Evidently our career paths diverged from there.

    I dated David Schwimmer and Brandon Lee (Bruce Lee’s son, for those who aren’t familiar with his too-brief body of work) before they became famous. People frequently become famous after meeting me (also after reading me – pass it on).

    We took our daughters to South Africa in February of 2013 on safari and didn’t get eaten by leopards.

    I want to grow up to be just like my husband. My daughters are my life.

    Shannon Bradley Colleary

    With a little extra pancake on the face, an incredible photographer (Beth Sanders) deodorant, a pantyliner, some natural lighting and exfoliating with the pubic hair of virgin Mormon missionaries, I can still look like this.

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    99 comments > Write one

    1. [...] to The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful blog you may want to get to know me better by reading my About Me Page [...]

    2. Catherine Dong says:

      You are so hilarious!! I haven’t been reading your blog recently because I’m trying not to read anything FUN, but I may have to rethink that…

    3. Alexandra says:

      It is lovely to sit down and get to talk to you.

      BlogHer was such a whir, no decent time with anybody.

      Pleasure to meet you,(again) sweet lady!!

      • The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful says:

        Yes, next time we must make a little more time. Are you going to the big Blogworld hoo haw in L.a. in Nov? I’m going for it.

    4. Heather says:

      I’ve been blog hunting for so long. I want to read things that make me laugh at something other than bad sentence structure (I can see it but can hardly avoid it myself) You are it! So great! And hilarious!

      • Shannon Colleary says:

        Hi Heather — I’ve been kvetchy all day (and I’m a shiksa so that’s hard to do), you just unkvetched me.

    5. Jrob says:

      Okay, after all these years… (you know we go way back) I finally figured out the very best thing I enjoy the most about your writing. The part I will always admire and envy… It’s the “desolate warehouse” – you must tell me over our next vino session – how you think of these effortlessly surprising turns that pinpoint your point right on the dot. Solid gold! (And yes, I’m sober and I mean every single word!)

      • Shannon Colleary says:

        Jrob — you know I feel the same about you. Even if you “tits aren’t up to it” you are one of my favorite writers. xo

    6. Jodi Firth says:

      Wow! What an amazing “about me” bio you’ve got. Now I can tell ALL my friends that I read the blog of a famous woman who knows and dated tons of stars and her husband wrote Face-Off. (Tell him way to go – I effin LOVE that movie) Cool – I’m like .2% famous now by semi-association. Kim K had to get her start somewhere right?

      • Shannon Colleary says:

        I like to think I’ve lived on the edge of celebrity while never really being allowed in the club. And I love Face Off too. Very proud of my hubby. I have to brag because he won’t.

    7. inez coffman says:

      Your blog is amazing! I cannot stop laughing!!! You are hilarious and so true to the heart – thank you for sharing!

      • Shannon Colleary says:

        Inez — thank you for reading. I am an insecure writer always in need of approval. Why couldn’t I have been a dentist? Happy Thanksgiving xo

    8. Shannon Colleary says:

      so glad you stopped by!

    9. Classic commentary! I knew Mike back at UC Berkeley (we roomed with the same people… Claire Lim, Brian Rubin, and Scott Morrison). You are too funny! I have to turn my wife Kathy on to your blog. Our girls are 13 and 16, and we live for them too, but now that they are teenagers, I think they just see us as standing in their way… but we are GOOD at it! I agree with you… I think you could take Jolie down in a NY minute!

      • Shannon Colleary says:

        Hi Tharin — yes, Henry/M is losing hair. But he’s like Ed Harris – it just further enunciates those penetrating blue eyes. Thanks for reading!

    10. [...] Which Brings me to Shannon. [...]

      • Shannon Colleary says:

        Thanks jamie!

      • Neeraj says:

        The last few books I have read and would hlgihy recommend are:Song of the Hummingbird, Graciela LimonThe Wild Trees, Richard Preston (saw him interviewed on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and it sounded like a terrific book)The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon History of Love, Nicole Krauss I just finished The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls- it was also excellent. I am now reading The Blessings of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children by Wendy Mogel Ph.D. and The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai.Are you sorry you asked?!?

        • Shannon says:

          Somehow I seem to be getting someone else’s comments. But I’ll take them. I loved “Blessings of a Skinned Knee.” Will check out your other recommendations.

    11. Ronni says:

      I loved the Tomb Raider movies. :D I wish they’d have done the third one.

      Your bio is hilarious!

      • Shannon Colleary says:

        thanks luv

        • Prudence says:

          I did like this one as well but I have a fond place in my heart for mliendss action flicks from my youth. But I’ve got to say that I personally feel that Travolta and Cage never really bring much to the roles they play. I’ve never really liked Travolta and I’m on the fence with Cage. I probably find him really enjoyable in about half his movies.

    12. Annie Pazoo says:

      Wow! So glad to have found you via Design Mom. How much does a mini-brow lift and blepharoplasty cost? I’m about ten years past the need for one. Funny how more than 45 years of “I’m against plastic surgery” can melt away in one morning glance into the mirror. Repeated 365 times. Deets, please.

      • Shannon says:

        Hi Annie — I went to an incredible guy. Dr. Jonathan Hoenig in Beverly Hills. He’s pricey because he’s good. I wanted something very conservative. I didn’t want to look surprised. The cost was $7,000. Yes. I know. But I’m thrilled with the natural-looking results. And I sold one of my kidneys.

    13. Rowland says:

      So here’s the deal. You complimented my writing in a comment on your HuffPost post. I responded. Apparently, because I referenced my (amateur) blog, I was blacklisted.

      Whatever.

      I wanted to write and make sure that you know that I appreciated your comment. As I mentioned in my reply to you that HP didn’t post (which, after I send this, they’ll post along with the second one I sent when they didn’t post the original response, and they’ll do it just to humiliate me – how do they know?!), I’ve been working on my first novel length story for two years. Two damned years. God. Anyway, every compliment matters, and since you complimented me, I decided to stalk you until you knew that I appreciated it.

      You might know that now, which means I can go to bed and wake up late and go to meetings and then come home and write some more instead of earn an income. (My wife is thrilled with my writing. My earning too much money has always been her worst nightmare.)

      • Shannon says:

        Hi Rowland — wtf is up with Huffington Post blacklisting you? Maybe they thought you were spam or something. Anyhow I loved your writing. Keep doing it. Don’t stop. It all adds up. I am not where I’d like to be professionally but am trying. There’s a great book by Steven Pressfield called “The War of Art.” Pick it up immediately. It will kick your writing into high gear.

    14. Jay says:

      I rather enjoyed your huffpo story and would have loved to have been able to shoot with you :) I shoot women all the time that worry too much and so far, I’ve been lucky enough to show 100% of them how amazing they are. Great read!

      Jay
      cinema-photography.net

    15. leigh says:

      Ummm, where do I begin. Loved reading about your evolution. I’m in the midst of a devolution, I’m blaming it on my children. I sing the Tings-Tings song “That’s not my name” all the time to them. I’ll be checking in regularly. Cheers.

    16. Shannon,

      I am so glad that you are writing at AL now or I would have never known to find your blog and fall in love with it. You write so powerfully and with such personality.
      This freaking about page has me crying from laughter. This has insured you a spot on my coveted (:D) blog roll. You rock my socks off.
      I can’t wait to meet you at the AL party at BlogHer!
      XO

    17. Pro Choice Mama says:

      I enjoyed your piece on why you are pro-choice. I also became more pro-choice after my kids were born. Your writing is extremely entertaining — thank you for sharing your thoughts and creativity! I am looking forward to reading more.

    18. [...] my 30s I was pregnant twice which meant I felt fat and invisible. I coined the name THE WOMAN FORMERLY KNOWN AS BEAUTIFUL when I was 7-months pregnant with my second child, standing in line at the meat counter at Bristol [...]

    19. [...] Connecticut. The reputable Longwharf Theater and a production of the classic William Inge's Picnic. I'm cast as one of the leads, Madge. The pretty, small-town girl who falls for a handsome, charismatic drifter.Hello shining [...]

    20. [...] The reputable Longwharf Theater and a production of the classic William Inge’s Picnic. I’m cast as one of the leads, Madge. The pretty, small-town girl who falls for a handsome, charismatic [...]

    21. [...] The reputable Longwharf Theater and a production of the classic William Inge’s Picnic. I’m cast as one of the leads, Madge. The pretty, small-town girl who falls for a handsome, charismatic [...]

    22. Leilani says:

      Great, simply great! You are hilarious and I look forward to reading your posts. I feel I can really relate to you. Thanks for being real!

    23. [...] came to call at my home and my dad answered the door conveniently cleaning his Magnum .45.  I was Homecoming Queen of Upland High School in 1983 and I couldn’t get a date.  There wasn’t any boy brave enough to attempt to steal my virginity, they were all pretty [...]

    24. [...] came to call at our home and my dad answered the door conveniently cleaning his Magnum .45.  I was Homecoming Queen of Upland High School in 1983 and I couldn’t get a date.  There wasn’t any boy brave enough to attempt to steal my virginity, they were all pretty sure [...]

    25. [...] came to call at our home and my dad answered the door conveniently cleaning his Magnum .45. I was Homecoming Queen of Upland High School in 1983 and I couldn’t get a date. There wasn’t any boy brave enough to attempt to steal my [...]

    26. [...] The woman formerly known as beautiful and author at Huffington Post, Shannon Bradley-Colleary, had an article recently with the declarative title “Abstinence Got Me Pregnant.” It’s a “family planning” story meant to demonstrate that people should not be expected to follow a moral code when it comes to sexual intercourse, and probably many women can relate. [...]

    27. [...] The woman formerly known as beautiful and author at Huffington Post, Shannon Bradley-Colleary, had an article recently with the declarative title “Abstinence Got Me Pregnant.” It’s a “family planning” story meant to demonstrate that people should not be expected to follow a moral code when it comes to sexual intercourse, and probably many women (who don’t think about what words mean) can relate. [...]

    28. Hello, I wanted to follow up with you about an email I sent you last week in regards to a possible partnership with us. Did you receive it? Please let me know…..Thank you, Clayton.

    29. Lucretia says:

      See now… it should not have taken me this long to discover you. I’m absolutely sure we are friend-of-a-friend on multiple fronts. Now I just have to figure out who all to berate for not telling me to come read your blog Shannon! ;)
      Wish I were going to be in NY this week – I’d hunt you down. Maybe next year!

    30. You had me all the way until “pantyliner.” Then, I vomited. Well done!

      Seriously, I loved meeting you at BlogHer12. I hope to Jehovah that you are going to the Non-Con.

      Also, I have a treatment I’d like to pass to you. It’s basically Citizen Kane, but with black people. This is a brilliant idea! Black Citizen Kane! C’mon, you’d watch it. Admit it.

      • Shannon says:

        The pantyliner is definitely a cockblocker. It was lovely to meet you as well. Are you serious about the black Citizen Kane? I should warn you I may be the only cinefile who didn’t love that movie. In any case I’d be happy to be helpful in any way I can.

    31. [...] issues which don’t need to be detailed too thoroughly.  But oh, those halcyon days of mere colonic spastitis. I’m exhausted each night by eight p.m. and commence my trying-to-go-to-sleep [...]

    32. [...] for reading and following my little piece of internet turf.  I hope all your wishes come true.  xo TWFKAB /* Share and [...]

    33. Jose Ortiz says:

      Shannon,

      I read an excerpt from your book, “Into the Child:..”. What I have is a suggestion, not a criticizm and that is with regard to how you now communicate with God. I offer this from my own experience. Considering God in the same way you would your father or grandfather, wouldn’t you keep communication open all the time instead of just when you “need” him. Don’t you think he wants to talk to you in the good times and the bad or difficult times. If you do approach him this way, I suspect you will have much more to write in the future on this subject and, in a way that may touch a lot of people. I greatly enjoyed not only what I read in the excerpt but the writing style particularly.

      • Shannon says:

        Hi Jose — thank you for your comment and suggestion. I can be a bit of a know-it-all and you reminded me to remain humble and be open to other people’s points of view. xo

    34. Fun times! Am following. :)

    35. Just stumbled upon you today. The HuffPo link on facebook led me to your article and beyond.
      Thank you for the laughs today.
      Love your style, thanks for making our age look so G-damn good.
      Wishing you much success and happiness.
      Ali

    36. So Shannon, I’m checking you out because I just got an email from your advertising gal asking if I wanted to advertise on your blog. Well, I don’t actually read many blogs (since I write my own) but I read a bit of yours and you seem like fun. In fact you remind me a bit of me, when I was younger and IF I understood grammar and actually knew how to write.

      So advertising on your blog huh?? I’m always looking for opportunities that actually work without actually involving any work.

      Should I? advertise that is? Also, my daughter is moving to LA in January to pursue a screenwriting career. She has sitcom specs now. Any advice??? Wanna take her under your wing? That actually would be worth paying for, :)

      Sorry about typos, it’s my stupid iPad. Take care.

      Lynn MacDonald

      • Shannon says:

        Lynn – we met a couple of years ago at BlogHer. I remember your blog name! Listen, have your daughter call me anytime. I’d be happy to talk to her about screenwriting.

    37. carolyna says:

      Most awesome bio I have ever read!

    38. How have I not experienced your blog yet? Love it. I’m speaking at BlogHer this year, will you be attending? Would love to have a “hello!”

    39. Doug Smith says:

      I caught the last part of the NPR show you were on today. I did not hear the particulars of your rape, but I felt the program was great and timely and I applaud you for having the courage to tell your story.

    40. Did you ever take a class at the Groundlings? I think I was in it with you. Anyway, I really enjoy your blog!

    41. Ha! You weren’t bad at all! And I was so nervous there, too. I ended up kind of hating it. Nice to see you being so successful.

    42. Rhonda says:

      I stumbled onto your piece about Brandon Lee. I am so impressed I don’t even know what to say. you have a way of putting into words what I don’t even realize I feel. your honesty is refreshing. I don’t even know your last name but I will, because I’d love to read more.

    43. […] about sex after forty as a BlogHer 2013 Voice of the Year. Shannon has much to say on her blog, The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful. Shannon’s column will run the first Wednesday of the […]

    44. And you are still freaking gorgeous, even after all of that.

    45. Yvette says:

      Hi Shannon,
      I think it’s fabulous that you and your husband are committed to keeping the passion alive in your marriage.

      Next Tuesday nite at 8pm est, DIVINE AND DIRTY TALK RADIO will host a show about daring to toss societal stigmas to the wind by encouraging women in long term committed relationships to dare to walk on “the wild side”sexually. We’d love to have you as a guest to help our audience members to ” turn there hair loose” and add some spark to committed relationships. We would also promote your work on topic.

      Looking forward to discussion…

      Sincerely,
      Yvette

    46. Lady Shannon, Bringer of the Belly Laughs,

      How do I love thy blogerific hilarity? Let me not count the ways, for I shall be here all day. Let me instead say that in writing my brand new blog (regaling the masses with tales of life, love, and the occasional pursuit of sperm), I oft hunt about the blogosphere for others who inspire me, make me laugh, and help my own cheese to stand a little less alone. In that quest, I can say that I would rather chew the flattened frog carcass to to the left of my driveway than read almost every blog I’ve found. YOURS, Madam, is the exception. I adore your dry humor and wet sense of irony. Applause.

      XOXO
      Princess Burlap

      • Shannon says:

        Hello PB — thank you ever so much for stopping by and lavishing me with your affection. I’ve popped over to your site and find we are kindred spirits. We must keep in touch forevermore (which sounds a bit creepy now that I think of it.)

    47. I’ve already initiated said in-touch keeping via your provided America Online electronic mail (just call me Creepy McCreeperson). In this email, I professed such adulatory zest for you and your blog that I couldn’t imagine not advertising upon it. Very few bloggers are on my peculiar page, and you? Well. You’re my flavor of whack. I like that. I’m trying to put my stuff on BlogHer where applicable, I’m up for The Babble 100 (along with 581 other bloggers and counting), but really, TWFKAB is where it’s at.

    48. Aaron Molinar says:

      Hi Shannon,
      Wow….so I’m sitting on the couch with my amazing 12 year old daughter watching TV. Well, she’s watching TV as I multi-task plugging away on my laptop when she tells me how she googled herself once and found a funny baseball picture of herself when she was just 6. So I googled myself and found my name in your Blog…had to laugh at the reference to the “track and football God” and then you reminded me of your friend Viv…If I recall she later broke my heart. Ouch!!! Glad to hear you and she are still good friends. Ed Bushor and I are still very close friends and business partners. Closer now as adults striving to be better men, husbands, & fathers than we were back in the day…God is good.

      Sincerely,
      Aaron Molinar

      • Shannon says:

        Hi Aaron — Now I’ve got to go find that post to make sure I didn’t write anything too incriminating about you. I certainly hope Vance Schmitz doesn’t google himself. He might take a hit out on me. Anyhow it’s so nice to hear from you. I certainly had a massive crush on you in high school and have never really forgiven Viv for dating you. Plus she’s more gorgeous than ever. It’s a good thing I love her. Having said that I also had a huge crush on Ed as well. I was a two-men kind of woman.

        Two anecdotes you may appreciate. I was running track after school — which I hated BTW — and ran through a little cloud of gnats. I brushed them off of my face and, as I came to the finish line, I noticed you on the track. You stopped to talk to me, which made me quite swoony. I walked away thrilled only to arrive in the locker room to discover that I had one live gnat stuck to the Chapstick on my lips beating his little wings. Mortification ensued and I think I ducked you for the rest of the year.

        And now to that scoundrel Ed. He was the TA in Mr. Kennison’s class and I was one of the students. One day, as I was walking to class, Ed came sprinting toward me across the quad calling my name. I couldn’t believe he even knew my name because we’d never spoken before. I wondered if maybe he wanted to walk to class with me. Instead he put a stack of heavy text books in my arms and asked if I minded taking them to Kennison’s since he had something else to do. The books weighed about 50 pounds. Sigh. You and Ed kept me humble. xo S

    49. Jon M says:

      That’s so interesting on the screenwriting! I do illustrating, like comics…currently working on two graphic novels. It’s slow going, but I’m working on it everyday. I’ll definitely take a deeper look at your website in the coming weeks…it all looks and sounds interesting! Jon:)

    50. Pete says:

      Your readers comments are so superficial……..in a sincere sort of way.

    51. Brooke Sarro says:

      Loved browsing this site! As a creative writer and artist, it was rather enjoyable :)

    52. candy says:

      Hello,

      We are a B2B e-commerce company, we wanna buy some text link ads from you. Would you please tell me the price for a text link on the homepage of http://thewomanformerlyknownasbeautiful.com for 3 months?

      If you have the list of PR4+ websites which sell text link ads on the homepage,please do not hesitate to let me know?

      Sincerely Yours,
      Candy

    53. […] a link of a blogger that petitions YSL CEO to stop using photos of painfully thin models in press. Shannon Bradley-Colleary writes about the issues of body image (among other topics); she’s a mother of two and also […]

    54. Susan Oster says:

      Love this and shared with friends – dying to read everything you’ve written. Don’t judge me on my website! We moved and I haven’t even updated the contact info. And don’t plan too this week either. (Been 11 months).

      You’re awesome.

    55. Sarah says:

      This was hilarious and you are kind of AMAZING (and very beautiful!). I’m making you my idol now.

    56. Betty says:

      Hi Shannon,

      Been quietly browsing your site for the last couple of days. Firstly, you’re way prettier and (from what I could see in that quick video with Brandon, and all your writing here) more talented than Gywneth, who I have NEVER been able to stand (how good was the ending in ‘Seven’?)
      Where can I get a non-kindle version of ‘Smash Crash Burn’?
      Much respect for putting it out there, warts and all, I think all women can relate to these stories.

      • Shannon says:

        Dear Betty my darling, I wish I could offer you a non-Kindle version of SC and Burn, unfortunately I’ve not yet found a traditional publisher. But will let you now STAT when that happens! And thanks for quietly browsing. It keeps me typing.

    57. Rebecca Stay says:

      You had me at the Princess Bride quote.

    58. Grace says:

      You’re very funny but I think spot on about many things. I’ve been in a relationship with a really nice guy for 19 months long distance. He takes me to very nice places, i.e., plays, restaurants, romantic walks. Yes, here comes the “BUT”. But I feel like we are not sexually compatible. He loves all things I do to please him, but when it comes to me, I hear oh my arthritis in the back of my neck really hurts when I’m top, or I had a bad experience with oral sex, I have arthritis in my fingers so it’s painful to finger you but I’ll try. I’m really getting sick of it. He’s 53 so get over your bad oral experience, but he likes it done to him. I have repeatedly shown him how I like to be kissed, touched. He keeps saying please be patient with me. I’m just not used to having to work this much to click with someone sexually. The only way I can get satisfied is if I am on top. That’s not a bad thing sometimes, but I feel like he likes that all the time so he can just lay there mainly. If he’s on top, he can hardly keep an erection so he jumps off of me, saying oh my head, my knees. I am doing all the work and he’s getting the benefits. That’s how I feel. I think he is a selfish lover. What do you think?

      • Shannon says:

        Hello Grace — I love that this comment ended up on my ABOUT page. Never had one quite like it here. Okay, so. He’s only 53 and he’s already this disabled? I find this worrisome because what’s it going to be like when he’s 73? You might end up being his nurse, rather than his romantic partner. I can’t really advise you as I suspect there are many ways in which he please you out of bed. I think you have to ask yourself how important the sex component is in your relationship?? Are other things between you more important? If so, you may have to adjust your expectations because I doubt he’ll change. But if sex is very important you might want to think about moving on?

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