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about
Hi! My name is Shannon. I live in Los Angeles with my screenwriter husband Henry and my two daughters Clare (10) and Bridget (8).
I began as an L.A. Wacktress (waiter/actress – mostly waiter):
L.A. Wacktress
Then became a married, pregnant L.A. screenwriter:
Married, Pregnant L.A. Screenwriter
Ultimately evolving into an I-need-some-creative-satisfaction blogger and a very bad, yet still bossy AYSO soccer referee for my daughters’ Girls Under 8 team.
Unfortunately the socks give my knees muffin top
My evolution has been humbling. I coined the phrase “The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful” when I was 7-months pregnant with Bridget, standing in line at the meat counter at Bristol Farms in Beverly Hills. Five butchers (count ‘em…five!) were helping a young, non-pregnant Pussycat Doll select a pound of cackle while I festered swollenly nearby trying to order one freaking carne asada!
Eventually I passed out from hypoglycemia due to LACK OF RED MEAT and when the paramedics came they forgot to collect my 50-lbs.-up limp form off the ground because they were too busy helping the Pussycat Doll carry her boneless, skinless chicken cutlets to her car.
WHY I STARTED MY BLOG:
I’ve worked for thirteen years as a screenwriter of film and movies-of-the-week. I feel so lucky to have the work, but more often than not what originally excited me about a project changes drastically in development. For better or worse the blog is all mine. It won’t pay for college (maybe the occasional bottle of gin?), but it’s my mistress who I’m always eager to get to.
MY GENETIC PRE-DISPOSITION FOR BRAGGING:
Several of my posts have been syndicated by: AOL, London’s MailOnline, NPR, The Today Show, Studio11LA, NPR, Babble, Opposing Viewpoints and BlogHer. I’m a contributing blogger at The Huffington Post, MomsLa and Aiming Low.
RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME:I was interviewed on Fox Studio LA and The Today Show about fine art nudes, emphasis on “fine art,”I had taken at age 26 and 46 to have better body image.
I’ve had three stepfathers and they all had mustaches. Now I have a mustache.
I lived on a boat named The Allegro in Antioch, California for six months when I was 9. I also get seasick.
I speak fluent Spanish. I’m particularly expressive with the curse words. Chinga mis dedos me duelen de typing!
My husband wrote the classic action film Face-Off with Nicolas Cage and John Travolta. He also wrote Lara Croft Tomb Raider, but fortunately Angelina didn’t try to steal him from me. I think I could take her if I had to.
I danced as a Suicide Blonde for INXS at the MTV video awards in 1990. My platinum wig fell off mid-routine so they never actually cut to me on camera.
Gwyneth Paltrow came to see a play I was in before she was famous. She played my role in a different production a few months later. Evidently our career paths separated from there.
I dated David Schwimmer and Brandon Lee before they became famous. People frequently become famous after meeting me (also after reading me – pass it on).
I have a digestive disorder I won’t name (IBS – irresistible beauty syndrome). After a year of profound suffering anti-depressants made it livable. Also, IBS is very sexy. Men flock in droves when they hear about it.
I had a mini-brow lift and blepharoplasty when I was of-a-certain-age despite the fact that I’m not vain or shallow in any way. Since then I no longer judge anyone who has plastic or cosmetic surgery. Except maybe Kate Gosselin because she scares me. Would not want to meet her in a desolate warehouse.
I’m obsessed with the Boden catalogue. It’s my Willie Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. I want to live there, swimming in polka dots, nibbling on loud prints enjoying the phantasmagoria. However, they do charge you money for the clothes. Which just seems like bullcrap to me. In an effort to beat my addiction I started a No Shopping Project called #71dressesin71days, during which I must wear the 71 dresses I own (I am the Imelda Marcos of dresses) in 71 days before I can buy even a used thong.
I love to arm wrestle other moms and win. Especially my friend call-name Tango 5-6 because she can do one-arm push-ups.
I admire my husband. I want to grow up to be just like him. My daughters are my life.
In the right light, with a little photoshop, in a good bra, wearing a stiff deoderant and a fresh pantyliner I can still look like this.
My Favorite Blogs:
Good Day Regular People, I Am Not The Babysitter, Sassy Curmudgeon, The Bloggess, Between Parents, Design Mom, MomsLa, Aiming Low, Huffington Post Women, Earth Mother Just Means I’m Dusty and Generation Fabulous
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[...] to The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful blog you may want to get to know me better by reading my About Me Page [...]
You are so hilarious!! I haven’t been reading your blog recently because I’m trying not to read anything FUN, but I may have to rethink that…
It is lovely to sit down and get to talk to you.
BlogHer was such a whir, no decent time with anybody.
Pleasure to meet you,(again) sweet lady!!
Yes, next time we must make a little more time. Are you going to the big Blogworld hoo haw in L.a. in Nov? I’m going for it.
I’ve been blog hunting for so long. I want to read things that make me laugh at something other than bad sentence structure (I can see it but can hardly avoid it myself) You are it! So great! And hilarious!
Hi Heather — I’ve been kvetchy all day (and I’m a shiksa so that’s hard to do), you just unkvetched me.
Okay, after all these years… (you know we go way back) I finally figured out the very best thing I enjoy the most about your writing. The part I will always admire and envy… It’s the “desolate warehouse” – you must tell me over our next vino session – how you think of these effortlessly surprising turns that pinpoint your point right on the dot. Solid gold! (And yes, I’m sober and I mean every single word!)
Jrob — you know I feel the same about you. Even if you “tits aren’t up to it” you are one of my favorite writers. xo
Wow! What an amazing “about me” bio you’ve got. Now I can tell ALL my friends that I read the blog of a famous woman who knows and dated tons of stars and her husband wrote Face-Off. (Tell him way to go – I effin LOVE that movie) Cool – I’m like .2% famous now by semi-association. Kim K had to get her start somewhere right?
I like to think I’ve lived on the edge of celebrity while never really being allowed in the club. And I love Face Off too. Very proud of my hubby. I have to brag because he won’t.
Your blog is amazing! I cannot stop laughing!!! You are hilarious and so true to the heart – thank you for sharing!
Inez — thank you for reading. I am an insecure writer always in need of approval. Why couldn’t I have been a dentist? Happy Thanksgiving xo
so glad you stopped by!
Classic commentary! I knew Mike back at UC Berkeley (we roomed with the same people… Claire Lim, Brian Rubin, and Scott Morrison). You are too funny! I have to turn my wife Kathy on to your blog. Our girls are 13 and 16, and we live for them too, but now that they are teenagers, I think they just see us as standing in their way… but we are GOOD at it! I agree with you… I think you could take Jolie down in a NY minute!
Hi Tharin — yes, Henry/M is losing hair. But he’s like Ed Harris – it just further enunciates those penetrating blue eyes. Thanks for reading!
[...] Which Brings me to Shannon. [...]
Thanks jamie!
The last few books I have read and would hlgihy recommend are:Song of the Hummingbird, Graciela LimonThe Wild Trees, Richard Preston (saw him interviewed on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and it sounded like a terrific book)The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, Mark Haddon History of Love, Nicole Krauss I just finished The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls- it was also excellent. I am now reading The Blessings of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children by Wendy Mogel Ph.D. and The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai.Are you sorry you asked?!?
Somehow I seem to be getting someone else’s comments. But I’ll take them. I loved “Blessings of a Skinned Knee.” Will check out your other recommendations.
I loved the Tomb Raider movies.
I wish they’d have done the third one.
Your bio is hilarious!
thanks luv
I did like this one as well but I have a fond place in my heart for mliendss action flicks from my youth. But I’ve got to say that I personally feel that Travolta and Cage never really bring much to the roles they play. I’ve never really liked Travolta and I’m on the fence with Cage. I probably find him really enjoyable in about half his movies.
Nicolas Cage is an odd one. He can absolutely elevate or destroy a film.
[...] you Shannon and [...]
Wow! So glad to have found you via Design Mom. How much does a mini-brow lift and blepharoplasty cost? I’m about ten years past the need for one. Funny how more than 45 years of “I’m against plastic surgery” can melt away in one morning glance into the mirror. Repeated 365 times. Deets, please.
Hi Annie — I went to an incredible guy. Dr. Jonathan Hoenig in Beverly Hills. He’s pricey because he’s good. I wanted something very conservative. I didn’t want to look surprised. The cost was $7,000. Yes. I know. But I’m thrilled with the natural-looking results. And I sold one of my kidneys.
So here’s the deal. You complimented my writing in a comment on your HuffPost post. I responded. Apparently, because I referenced my (amateur) blog, I was blacklisted.
Whatever.
I wanted to write and make sure that you know that I appreciated your comment. As I mentioned in my reply to you that HP didn’t post (which, after I send this, they’ll post along with the second one I sent when they didn’t post the original response, and they’ll do it just to humiliate me – how do they know?!), I’ve been working on my first novel length story for two years. Two damned years. God. Anyway, every compliment matters, and since you complimented me, I decided to stalk you until you knew that I appreciated it.
You might know that now, which means I can go to bed and wake up late and go to meetings and then come home and write some more instead of earn an income. (My wife is thrilled with my writing. My earning too much money has always been her worst nightmare.)
Hi Rowland — wtf is up with Huffington Post blacklisting you? Maybe they thought you were spam or something. Anyhow I loved your writing. Keep doing it. Don’t stop. It all adds up. I am not where I’d like to be professionally but am trying. There’s a great book by Steven Pressfield called “The War of Art.” Pick it up immediately. It will kick your writing into high gear.
I rather enjoyed your huffpo story and would have loved to have been able to shoot with you
I shoot women all the time that worry too much and so far, I’ve been lucky enough to show 100% of them how amazing they are. Great read!
Jay
cinema-photography.net
Hi Jay — thanks for following me here. And keep up the good work with women. We need to be seen through a loving lens.
Ummm, where do I begin. Loved reading about your evolution. I’m in the midst of a devolution, I’m blaming it on my children. I sing the Tings-Tings song “That’s not my name” all the time to them. I’ll be checking in regularly. Cheers.
I love the Ting Tings! Thanks for checking in.
Shannon,
I am so glad that you are writing at AL now or I would have never known to find your blog and fall in love with it. You write so powerfully and with such personality.
This freaking about page has me crying from laughter. This has insured you a spot on my coveted (:D) blog roll. You rock my socks off.
I can’t wait to meet you at the AL party at BlogHer!
XO
Thanks Debi — I look forward to meeting and reading you too!! I love Aiming Low. It’s my new philosophy in life.
I enjoyed your piece on why you are pro-choice. I also became more pro-choice after my kids were born. Your writing is extremely entertaining — thank you for sharing your thoughts and creativity! I am looking forward to reading more.
[...] my 30s I was pregnant twice which meant I felt fat and invisible. I coined the name THE WOMAN FORMERLY KNOWN AS BEAUTIFUL when I was 7-months pregnant with my second child, standing in line at the meat counter at Bristol [...]
[...] Connecticut. The reputable Longwharf Theater and a production of the classic William Inge's Picnic. I'm cast as one of the leads, Madge. The pretty, small-town girl who falls for a handsome, charismatic drifter.Hello shining [...]
[...] The reputable Longwharf Theater and a production of the classic William Inge’s Picnic. I’m cast as one of the leads, Madge. The pretty, small-town girl who falls for a handsome, charismatic [...]
[...] The reputable Longwharf Theater and a production of the classic William Inge’s Picnic. I’m cast as one of the leads, Madge. The pretty, small-town girl who falls for a handsome, charismatic [...]
Great, simply great! You are hilarious and I look forward to reading your posts. I feel I can really relate to you. Thanks for being real!
Sometimes too real for my own good. xo
[...] came to call at my home and my dad answered the door conveniently cleaning his Magnum .45. I was Homecoming Queen of Upland High School in 1983 and I couldn’t get a date. There wasn’t any boy brave enough to attempt to steal my virginity, they were all pretty [...]
[...] came to call at our home and my dad answered the door conveniently cleaning his Magnum .45. I was Homecoming Queen of Upland High School in 1983 and I couldn’t get a date. There wasn’t any boy brave enough to attempt to steal my virginity, they were all pretty sure [...]
[...] came to call at our home and my dad answered the door conveniently cleaning his Magnum .45. I was Homecoming Queen of Upland High School in 1983 and I couldn’t get a date. There wasn’t any boy brave enough to attempt to steal my [...]
[...] The woman formerly known as beautiful and author at Huffington Post, Shannon Bradley-Colleary, had an article recently with the declarative title “Abstinence Got Me Pregnant.” It’s a “family planning” story meant to demonstrate that people should not be expected to follow a moral code when it comes to sexual intercourse, and probably many women can relate. [...]
[...] The woman formerly known as beautiful and author at Huffington Post, Shannon Bradley-Colleary, had an article recently with the declarative title “Abstinence Got Me Pregnant.” It’s a “family planning” story meant to demonstrate that people should not be expected to follow a moral code when it comes to sexual intercourse, and probably many women (who don’t think about what words mean) can relate. [...]
Hello, I wanted to follow up with you about an email I sent you last week in regards to a possible partnership with us. Did you receive it? Please let me know…..Thank you, Clayton.
Hi Clayton — I’m not sure we’re a good fit just now. But thanks for the inquiry.
See now… it should not have taken me this long to discover you. I’m absolutely sure we are friend-of-a-friend on multiple fronts. Now I just have to figure out who all to berate for not telling me to come read your blog Shannon!
Wish I were going to be in NY this week – I’d hunt you down. Maybe next year!
Lucretia — I’m so glad you did find me. Where are you so I can stalk you??
You had me all the way until “pantyliner.” Then, I vomited. Well done!
Seriously, I loved meeting you at BlogHer12. I hope to Jehovah that you are going to the Non-Con.
Also, I have a treatment I’d like to pass to you. It’s basically Citizen Kane, but with black people. This is a brilliant idea! Black Citizen Kane! C’mon, you’d watch it. Admit it.
The pantyliner is definitely a cockblocker. It was lovely to meet you as well. Are you serious about the black Citizen Kane? I should warn you I may be the only cinefile who didn’t love that movie. In any case I’d be happy to be helpful in any way I can.
[...] issues which don’t need to be detailed too thoroughly. But oh, those halcyon days of mere colonic spastitis. I’m exhausted each night by eight p.m. and commence my trying-to-go-to-sleep [...]
[...] for reading and following my little piece of internet turf. I hope all your wishes come true. xo TWFKAB /* Share and [...]
Shannon,
I read an excerpt from your book, “Into the Child:..”. What I have is a suggestion, not a criticizm and that is with regard to how you now communicate with God. I offer this from my own experience. Considering God in the same way you would your father or grandfather, wouldn’t you keep communication open all the time instead of just when you “need” him. Don’t you think he wants to talk to you in the good times and the bad or difficult times. If you do approach him this way, I suspect you will have much more to write in the future on this subject and, in a way that may touch a lot of people. I greatly enjoyed not only what I read in the excerpt but the writing style particularly.
Hi Jose — thank you for your comment and suggestion. I can be a bit of a know-it-all and you reminded me to remain humble and be open to other people’s points of view. xo
Fun times! Am following.
Just stumbled upon you today. The HuffPo link on facebook led me to your article and beyond.
Thank you for the laughs today.
Love your style, thanks for making our age look so G-damn good.
Wishing you much success and happiness.
Ali
Hi Alison — thanks so much for your kind words!
So Shannon, I’m checking you out because I just got an email from your advertising gal asking if I wanted to advertise on your blog. Well, I don’t actually read many blogs (since I write my own) but I read a bit of yours and you seem like fun. In fact you remind me a bit of me, when I was younger and IF I understood grammar and actually knew how to write.
So advertising on your blog huh?? I’m always looking for opportunities that actually work without actually involving any work.
Should I? advertise that is? Also, my daughter is moving to LA in January to pursue a screenwriting career. She has sitcom specs now. Any advice??? Wanna take her under your wing? That actually would be worth paying for,
Sorry about typos, it’s my stupid iPad. Take care.
Lynn MacDonald
Lynn – we met a couple of years ago at BlogHer. I remember your blog name! Listen, have your daughter call me anytime. I’d be happy to talk to her about screenwriting.
Most awesome bio I have ever read!
How have I not experienced your blog yet? Love it. I’m speaking at BlogHer this year, will you be attending? Would love to have a “hello!”
Hi Elaine — I’m not actually planning to attend this year based on finances. But if I can sell one of my kidneys I might make it.
I caught the last part of the NPR show you were on today. I did not hear the particulars of your rape, but I felt the program was great and timely and I applaud you for having the courage to tell your story.
Hi Doug — thanks for reading and for the encouragement.