“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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I May Have to Gag My Husband

Henry is outside as I type this reading the first draft of a book I’m writing. It was quiet out there when I entered. His face appeared stern as he read. He hates it. I can tell just by the way the heater was blowing in the room. Why does he need heat when my manuscript should be warming the cockles of his heart? Also his shoulders were kind of hunched up as if he were expecting a blow from me, which I would only mete out if he hates my book.  Which brings me back to this …

I should have become a dentist. People are always going to have cavities and gingivitis. But dentistry has one of the highest suicide rates. Hmm. Then again Hemmingway, Sylvia Plath and Hunter S. Thompson all offed themselves. Fortunately I’m not as brilliant. Writers of average talent tend to live.

Crap. He just came in and told me he thinks it’s entertaining, but is not sure what the overarching theme is. I hate him a little right now. I’m going to infuse his soap bar with Nair. Perhaps then he’ll see the “overarching theme” in our marriage, which is like everything I do or I will sabotage your bodily hair.

I’m signing off now to fester. Or gag my husband.

The last time he critiqued my work I had to beat him with confetti!

Tags assigned to this article:
Critical Husbandgag my husband


Write a comment
  1. Jasmine Forte
    Jasmine Forte 7 January, 2013, 13:27

    I adore your posts!!!! Enjoy them so much! I’ll bet the book is fabulous!

    Reply this comment
  2. Shannon
    Shannon Author 7 January, 2013, 13:45

    Thank you Jasmine — I’ll tell Henry you said so. The bastard.

    Reply this comment
  3. trina
    trina 7 January, 2013, 14:04

    haha Edits always help!! I’m sure your book will be amazing!

    Reply this comment
  4. Catalina
    Catalina 7 January, 2013, 20:15

    I can’t wait to read your book! Ignore the man for now and get back to work. 😉

    Reply this comment
  5. Yvonne Condes
    Yvonne Condes 7 January, 2013, 20:54

    Ha! I thought your post was going to be about something completely different.

    I have my husband read most everything i write. He edits for grammar and almost never says anything other than ‘here are the edits.’ I wrote something recently and he said ‘that was good.’ I almost cried.

    Reply this comment
  6. Deborah Stambler
    Deborah Stambler 7 January, 2013, 23:23

    What did Henry say about this post?

    Love you. D

    Reply this comment

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