• I May Have to Gag My Husband

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • LinkedIn
    • StumbleUpon
    • Email
    • Google Plus
    • Pinterest

    Henry is outside as I type this reading the first draft of a book I’m writing. It was quiet out there when I entered. His face appeared stern as he read. He hates it. I can tell just by the way the heater was blowing in the room. Why does he need heat when my manuscript should be warming the cockles of his heart? Also his shoulders were kind of hunched up as if he were expecting a blow from me, which I would only mete out if he hates my book. ¬†Which brings me back to this …

    I should have become a dentist. People are always going to have cavities and gingivitis. But dentistry has one of the highest suicide rates. Hmm. Then again Hemmingway, Sylvia Plath and Hunter S. Thompson all offed themselves. Fortunately I’m not as brilliant. Writers of average talent tend to live.

    Crap. He just came in and told me he thinks it’s entertaining, but is not sure what the overarching theme is. I hate him a little right now. I’m going to infuse his soap bar with Nair. Perhaps then he’ll see the “overarching theme” in our marriage, which is like everything I do or I will sabotage your bodily hair.

    I’m signing off now to fester. Or gag my husband.

    The last time he critiqued my work I had to beat him with confetti!

    Opt In Image
    Receive Tips & Tales on Beauty, Body, Babies and Bodacious Sex!

    NO SPAM, else I'll be forced to watch re-runs of Jersey Shore as punishment.

    8 comments > Write one

    1. Jasmine Forte says:

      I adore your posts!!!! Enjoy them so much! I’ll bet the book is fabulous!

    2. Shannon says:

      Thank you Jasmine — I’ll tell Henry you said so. The bastard.

    3. trina says:

      haha Edits always help!! I’m sure your book will be amazing!

    4. Catalina says:

      I can’t wait to read your book! Ignore the man for now and get back to work. ;-)

    5. Ha! I thought your post was going to be about something completely different.

      I have my husband read most everything i write. He edits for grammar and almost never says anything other than ‘here are the edits.’ I wrote something recently and he said ‘that was good.’ I almost cried.

    6. What did Henry say about this post?

      Love you. D

    Write a Comment

    Your email address will not be published. Name and Email are Required.

    Current ye@r *