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How to Have a Threesome in Vietnam!

The room was dark and quiet and I could hear the familiar sound of sleeping bodies around me. But there was another noise as well. In the bunk above me. Oh God, please no. The wet fluid sound of movement.

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Utah is Dry no More and Jack Nicholson Might Show up in my Hotel Room

All I really seem to crave right now is some warm milk and a Thai caning. Neither of which I am capable of purloining in The Peery Hotel aka The Overlook Hotel in The Shining. I may not survive the night.

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Au Revoir Paris, Time to Get Organized for 2014. I Could Use Some Help!

Leaving Paris to go home and: 1. Set up mammogram. 2. Set up doctor appointment to remove child’s warts. 3. Figure out Obama Care. 4. Pick up cats from kennel 5. Mainline crack.

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6 Surefire Ways to Keep Your Kids Happy on Vacation (we’re in Paris) While Enjoying It Yourself

Welcome to my Traveling With Kids In Paris series: This year our vacation has been to Paris over the kids’ winter break. Here are my 6 tried-and-true ways to keep your kids happy on vacation while still being able to

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Let Them Eat Orange Rinds aka Traveling With Kids in Paris

TRAVELING WITH KIDS IN PARIS! Shhh. I’m hiding in an internet cafe on Rue Thouin across the street from the apartment we’re renting on the Left Bank in the Latin Quarter in Paris. Henry left us for the day to

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Dreaming of Butt Crunches in Paris aka Workouts-On-Demand Giveaway

I’m in Paris eating Brie, Mousse Au Chocolat, Tarte Tatin, Foi Gras, Boeuf Bourguignon, Coq Au Vin, Crepes and Escargot. Excuse me while I wipe the butter, garlic and cream off of my chubby little fingers …. I’m back. Must

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Gwyneth’s Affair With Gerard aka Happy New Year 2014 From TWFKAB! (photos)

If you enjoy TWFKAB sign up for our newsletter HERE! We’re heading out of town to Paris tomorrow. It sounds sexy, but I promise to vomit on the plane and to have an affair with Gerard Depardieu who will give

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People We Love In Africa

After a butt-numbing 36-hour travel day (which, technically makes it “days”) we are home from our African adventure. If you want to read about our romantic, intrepid, grabbing-life-by-the-cajones safari with lots of photos you can start HERE. We certainly miss

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I Can Talk To The Animals: Last Day of Safari

Guess what? After two weeks photographing the animals on safari I can hear their thoughts: Today we fly home. Blech. Last night we had our final dinner out in the bush. This was the moon that was out: Our field ranger

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Lion Sands 1933 Lodge at Sabi Sands: Here, I Am Megan Fox

We’re nearing the end of our trip. I’m in mourning. When I travel I find myself to be romantic and bold. My hat sits at a jauntier angle. I think it’s a good idea to buy some lacy g-strings despite

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Heading to Hippo Country: Safari Day 11

They had to pry me out of our More Quarters Hotel apartment in Cape Town by the bloody stumps of my fingers. People in Cape Town – and the whole of South Africa actually – are pathologically chipper, laid back

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Wine Tasting and Cheetah Petting in Cape Town, South Africa

Traveling can be The Agony and The Ecstasy. Just so you don’t want to garrote us for galavanting in the sub-tropical South African veld here’s a little Agony. But then, after a five-hour jostling coach ride and a two-hour flight

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Safari at Madikwe Lodge: Will The 7-Ton Elephant Bull In Musth Charge?

I never understood why anyone would fly 24-hours from California to the African bush only to potentially be eaten.  After three days at the Madikwe Safari Lodge I get it. The person who comes between you and a she-lion eating

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South African Safari Now! Days 4 & 5

I write this missive from the veranda of the Lelapa Lodge in Madikwe overlooking the South African safari bush. The air is redolent of  desert rains, my soundtrack the twittering, screeching and singing of over a thousand avian choristers, and

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Safari Bound: Days Two and Three

Hello, South Africa! After a six-hour flight from Los Angles to New York and a fourteen-hour flight from New York to Johannesburg the eagles have landed! Three mom bloggers, five kids, two mothers-in-law, one father-in-law and three husbands. Over the

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South Africa Bound: Day One

We awoke at the crack of a gnat’s ass this morning and stumbled about preparing to depart on the first leg of our South African safari, which is a flight to New York and a sleepover there. Yesterday it seemed

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We Leave For An African Safari on Wednesday!

On Wednesday, should all the stars align, my family and I will be boarding a plane DESTINATION AFRICA! I don’t really believe it. It seems impossible that after 24 hours of travel we’ll be standing in the Southern hemisphere on

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I’m Dreaming of Africa: My Personal Photos

My family and I are going to Africa in February, which I won’t believe until I land. In August of 2000 I had the incredible good fortune to work on a D movie (sorry Alyssa Milano – you were great,

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Things I Hadn’t Tried In San Francisco

My mom lived in the bay area from the time I was 9 until I was 29. Here’s what I’ve done there: Poured a concrete slab with my stepdad Guido on Old Tunnel Road before the fire burned down his

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Do You Always Think You Should Be Somewhere Else?

We’re on our family summer trip where we must MAKE MEMORIES, dammit! We’re “doing” the California coast. We’ve hit Santa Barbara, in El Capitan and are currently in Monterey on our way to San Francisco! Today we drove the 17-mile

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Grand Canyon Snaps

Hope you enjoyed my Grand Canyon snaps.

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Over The Edge Death In Grand Canyon!

Over The Edge Death In Grand Canyon is the title of the book I’m reading since Henry, the kids and I set off for the Grand Canyon via train this morning. Maybe if we take the mule ride tour we’ll

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Wordless Monday in Sedona, Arizona

We’re on spring break.  There are no beer funnels.  No calling parents from a Oaxacan jail.  No tequila-induced tattoos of dancing Geishas on our bottoms.  There’s no girls gone wild.  Just girls (and Henry) gone child. We’re traveling the southwest

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Show Me The Way To Go Home aka Hawaii Big Island

“Show me the way to go home, I’m tired and I wanna go to bed. Had me a drink about an hour ago and it went right to my head. Wherever I may roam, Oe’r land or sea or foam,

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We Saw Saturn!

We did. We saw Saturn with the rings and everything. It was little and white and … well, it could have been just a stencil laminated onto the state-of-the-art telescope at the top of Mauna Kea, the largest mountain from the bottom

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