“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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4 Amazing Benefits of Midlife Sex

“We’ve both gained a life ring around our middles; Eric’s lost his gorgeous hair and I’ve discovered hair in my nose. Rosacea’s turned my face radish red, and both of our necks are heading south! I do not need Eric looking at my flapping neck from Woman-On-Top at nine in the morning, which is the only time we can have sex because our kids with their bionic hearing are finally at school!” Read On …

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The #1 Killer of Married Sex

Excerpt: “You can’t just run off to Sri Lanka, spending your days filming a documentary on the knitwear sweat factories while visiting opium dens in the evening.” Keep Reading …

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Blown Sideways: The Day I Left Jack Kerouac

Excerpt: “I’d also leave my aged Beauty Rest mattress.

A forensics team would find remnants of the married actor who showed up to rehearse a scene from “Two For the See-Saw” going commando under his sweats and smelling faintly of citrus that reminded me of the orange trees in my childhood backyard…” Read More

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You’re Never Too Old to Learn New Sex Tricks: The Stranger Game

Excerpt: “Henry and I had been married for 10 years when I made him meet me for a blind date. I’d been nursing an inexplicable obsession with the singer Gavin DeGraw and felt I ought to refocus my energy on real-life sex before I ran off on Gavin’s tour bus to serve Lime Rickey’s in a rhinestone thong.” Keep Reading …

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6 Things She Was Thinking During Sex, What He did to Make it Stop!

Excerpt: “I’m attempting a technique called The Pepper Grinder on my husband. It’s 9 a.m. on Monday morning, which is one of the few times we can have sex because our children are not in the house, but it really eats into my work time, man. This is what is in my head as I try to complete this sexual task:” Keep Reading …

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How to be Handy in Bed (NSFW!)

Excerpt: “I figured, despite a mild case of carpel tunnel and harbingers of arthritis in the third knuckle of my ring finger, that my hands could pinch-hit for my euphemistically titled Downtown Dining and Entertainment District.” Keep Reading!

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How to Seduce Your Wife

Excerpt: “What could my Mother’s Day gift be? A Spanx trousseau which would make me feel like a slatternly bovine and render me petulant and affronted so I could lambast my husband with the misplaced anger I feel about everything else in my life. (Not getting published in Jezebel for starters. Don’t they know I invented Jezebel?!)” Read More.

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Just One a Day is All You Get! aka Bossy Wives

10 Types of Women Men Won’t Marry: Miss “I Want To Change You”: This woman is lurking everywhere. She is the type of woman many men are the most leery of. (Of course, there are some men who love this woman because of their own insecurities.) She claims that she loves her guy just the way he is, but little by little, she chips away at just about everything about him. First, it’s his wardrobe, then it’s his taste in music. However, when she gets to his friends and his hobbies, she is usually kicked to the curb. (Keep Reading…)

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Night Three from 101 Nights of Great Sex: The Naked Lunch

Excerpt: “My breasts were really quite put out. I’d already extorted six months of breast-feeding out of them back in 2005 so they stood there, tapping their stilettos, demanding to know why in God’s name they had to go commando under a cooking apron with the words ‘In Dog Beers, I’ve Only Had One’ embossed on it.” Keep Reading …

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A Potpourri of Married Sex and Asshat Advice From ShannonColleary.com

Hello Fair Reader. There are two of me now. My personal blog here and my relationship website where you’ll find the same ribald, inappropriate, yet hopefully helpful (?) advice about dating and marriage. Here’s what’s been going on over there: You’re Going

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5 Reasons I Sometimes Want to Leave my Husband

Excerpt: My husband, Joe and I, recently celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary. We’ve been very lucky to have spent most of these years very happily married. But I’d be lying if I told you that I’ve never wanted to pack up my belongings and head for the hills. Blissfully alone. Read More …

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What Women Like In Bed, From The Most Interesting Man In The World

Excerpt: “A woman demanding (however subtly) to be dominated and controlled can have all this. She knows full well the power she has, while she’s lying there tied and ‘helpless’— we both know what a joke that is, but mutually ignore that bit. Though it will all be over if I tie her up and forget where I left her. After that it will be into Shady Pines and tying up nurses. Something to look forward to.” Keep reading …

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2 Secret Things Women Want in Bed. Clue: The Canadian Lynx.

NOT FOR KIDS: Ah, fantasies, the beauty of them lies in the fact that many are not realized. But as one woman put it: “I am tired of being that precious lady in the bedroom. I’m tired of ‘making love’ and doing things gently all the time. I want him to (…) talk to me as though he just met me and cares nothing about what I want. I want him to ravish me like an animal and tell me to be quiet whenever I try to say something.” Read more …

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He Hit on Me, Then Married Her. Tales From an Inadvertent Matchmaker.

Excerpt: Then one night at the Peninsula I noted two gentlemen eyeing Glenna and me from a neighboring table. We’ll call them The Accountant and The Silver Fox. As his pseudonym suggests The Silver Fox was north of 55 and one of those men who age magnificently. An athletic build, sparkling blue eyes, a real looker. Read More …

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Caught In The Act and Traumatized!

Midnight. Exhausted as we were, we were not going down (so to speak) without a fight. We’d just begun certain preliminary gestures toward one another. Clothes were shucked, body parts beginning to mingle like awkward teenagers at an after-school dance when the distinct sound of padding feet made us freeze. Keep Reading!

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Slippery When Wet!

I remember the moment as if it were yesterday. I’d gone into my college boyfriend’s parents’ bedroom in search of Kleenex when I noticed something on their night table that embarrassed me so much it sent me pelting for the exit. Was it a the entire Penthouse backlog circa 1976? No. Was it an intimidating dildo modeled after Joe Namath? No. Was it Michael Jackson’s sparkling white, inexplicable glove? No, it was…

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Worst Husband in the World, Killing My Own Kid Video Gone Viral

When I was a newborn my grandmas came to meet me for the first time. My dad carried me into the living room swaddled in a blanket, tripped, fell and accidentally threw me into the burning fireplace as everyone screamed.

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The Surprising Thing that Happened when I had Drinks with this Looker

On top of his seemingly ageless good looks, he’s smart, caustically funny and has won an Emmy for a news story about a goat. Throw in my zaftig insouciance and we should be An Affair To Remember.

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How Sex With a Pirate Ruined me Forever!

My first lover was Brandon Birmingham, captain of The Audacious, a merchant ship set for the Orient.
He’d mistaken me for a prostitute and had his way with me before he knew the truth…

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Empty Nest = Lame Sex?

It was still summer and the cock blockers were gone. I’d driven them at breakneck speed up to my mom’s in Santa Barbara. It was the first time they’d be away from home and we could have sex in every room of the house.

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1 Woman + Three Marriages = 33 Wisdom Bites

I have had that marital prodigy/libertine Michelle Combs on my site before writing Do You Need Code Language For Sex Because Your Toddler Will Say Blow Job When Your Mother-In-Law Comes Over? I had to have her back again for this

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How Married Sex Changed When I Cheated Death

I’m not sure what moon my cycle is in, or which lunar orbit is pivoting across the satellite of my luminescent chakras and third eye, but I’m feeling sentimental about my man. Henry turned 54 in August. Can this be

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Do you need a Code Language for Sex? Because your Toddler will say “Blow Job” when your Mother Visits

Finally I’ve found someone (besides me) willing to blog about their married sex life. Blogger Michelle Combs lets us in on her code language for sex from each era: before kids, during infants, toddlers, teenagers and beyond. Michelle writes: By

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Husbands and Wives: Are Henry and I the next Grey Gardens?

The latest in my Husbands and Wives Series: Lately Henry’s been cooking mushy, formless, tasteless chicken. “Can you please add spices to the chicken?” I query. “Like what kind of spices do you mean?” “Like anything that my taste buds

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How to Have Good Sex. Hint: Banish all Mice

It was 10 o’clock p.m. on a Friday night. The kids were actually asleep. Theoretically Henry and I could’ve been rocking the sheets. Instead: I was in the outdoor office trolling through Facebook, clicking on links which led to videos,

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