The Last Ark of The Covenent
My Kids Have Stealth Super Powers
The kids chose our costumes Halloween ’09. Should’ve tipped me off to their true identities! It’s 3 p.m. I’ve picked Clare (8) and Bridget (7) up
The Great White Huntress
Shopping Addiction Hanging The LolaHolly Shift out to dry. To prepare for hunting
How Demand TV Ruined My Life
I’m about to make glassy-eyed love to my Demand TV. The girls are in bed after I read the illuminating Captain Underpants to them, tickled, scratched,
Spring Fever For the Over-Achiever
These Ukranian Easter eggs are overkill. Who’re they trying to impress? Are we supposed to live up to this fucacta? This will be brief. Because
Do You Fall Down?
Does anyone besides me fall down? Because I seem to fall down a lot. I’ve fallen down, epically, at least three times in the last
Leaving Las Vegas (minus the booze)
We’re on our sixth hour of driving from Las Vegas to Salt Lake City to visit family for spring break. Collectively Clare (8), Bridget (7),
The American Girl Doll Birthday Party Rip-Off
This doll bed cost more than my cesarean What is more wholesome than an American Girl Doll? There’s Josefina Montoya who tries to preserve what
Other People’s Kids Suck!
Other people’s kids suck! Because they’re hyper, foretelling a career jacking cop cars to sell for parts in Oaxaca while high on crank. Our kids
Celebrity Stalkers: Is Katie Holmes a Scientology Prisoner?
Needy Katie The problem with being a mom in L.A. is that we’re celebrity magnets. Stars — who spend their lives jetting to
Laser Hair Removal
Aka — Pruning the Lady Garden My L.A. mom friends include: A former editor at Forbes Magazine An architect, a lawyer from the Slovak Republic
Kids Who Hate Change
Henry and I had the execrable audacity to repaint our 8-year old daughter’s bedroom against her will. Two more heinous crushers-of-the-soul have never existed. Upon
West Los Angeles Moms Have Buns of Titanium, But At What Cost?
You know you’re hanging out with West Los Angeles moms when the majority of them have buns so tight they could open a pickle jar.
