Kids and Parents

These Shoes Weren’t Made For Walkin’

Gestation: 17 Weeks Brand-new black pumps. When I put them on, I’m not a four-months-pregnant-mommy-of-a-toddler-with-a-stockpile-of-Preparation-H-and-Colase. No. I’m La Femme Nikita … If her cigarette skirt had an elastic panel over the belly. And if she had water retention. And didn’t have

Lonely Mommy

Gestation: 15 Weeks, Six Days I’ve been cruising for mommy friends like a red-assed baboon during mating season. I have a neighbor with a son Clare’s age. Today I pushed my stroller in front of her house six times, stopping

I Want To Barf!

Gestation: 15 Weeks What no one tells pregnant women is that the only way to abate the continual nausea that drones in your body, akin to the ominous low hum that continually drones in Taos, New Mexico, is to eat. To

Achy Breaky Breastfeeding Boobs

Gestation: 14 Weeks, Two Days Today at the Pump Station in Santa Monica, the epicenter of breastfeeding worship, Sage, the counter matron, (okay, maybe her name wasn’t that New Agey – it might’ve been Peg), asked pointedly over my brand

Pregnancy Insomnia

Gestation: 12 Weeks, 6 Days I’m struggling with an intractable case of pregnancy insomnia. I haven’t wanted to write it down in black and white because in doing so, I’m acknowledging that it exists and may, in fact, never go

Pregnancy Musical Blues

Gestation: 12 Weeks, 4 Days I’m obsessed with The Sound of Music. I watch it compulsively, bursting into tears every time someone bursts into song. Especially the song about, Maria, the character played by Julie Andrews. “How do you solve

Don’t Hate Me Because I Used To Be Beautiful

Gestation: 12 Weeks, 2 Days Inner Beauty, You Elusive Unicorn! Over a plate of Sake Kasu Chilean seabass with shitake mushroom tapenade at Chaya Brasserie in the heart of Beverly Hills I bathe my friend Georgia in a fiery attention. We’re

The Rabbit Died

First Month of Pregnancy I’ve been pregnant before so I suspect my body will remember how to do it again, but I‘m old. Not as old as say Methuselah. But close. Very close. Still, I’m hopeful. I watch my husband

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Kids and Parents

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