“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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Love and Sex Addiction

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5 Asshat Moves I Ignored Thanks to Lust

Back before Henry, when the dinosaurs roamed the land and I loved Asshats, Mr. Cruelly Handsome and I were driving to Tijuana down the 405 freeway at 2 p.m., heading south to donate LAFD firefighting equipment to the Mexican bomberos

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When I Tried to Kill my Ex With a No. 2 Pencil

He walked in the door of our house at 1 a.m. as if it were only 6 p.m. and he didn’t reek of Other Women. I sat on the couch pretending to watch the Late, Late, Late Show, as if

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Video One: The Asshat Recovery Program

I’m excited about getting this series off the ground. Have a look at the video and see if your love life has the signs of an abusive relationship. Because I’ve been there, baby, and I can help! Also, you get to watch me sweating like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News.

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14 Reasons You Attract Asshats

When it comes to dating, do you keep choosing Asshats over and over and over again? I was an Asshat-magnet right up until my womb entered its geriatric phase and I had to get serious and stalk Henry who I

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Are You Turning the Asshat’s Bread Crumbs Into a Rustic Loaf?

Ahh that perennial relationship black hole of Calcutta, the Asshat. They don’t call when they say they will. They don’t show up when expected. They brood at social gatherings with friends and family. You’re fairly certain they’re cheating on you

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Do You Love An Asshat? How to Quit Him/Her

Hello there my favorite people. I’m starting something new and hopefully helpful and cool. Because my post, “10 Signs You Might be Dating an Asshat and 5 Ways to Avoid Them” (aka signs of an abusive relationship) has been, by far

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6 Essential Dating Tips for Dummies Like Me

6 Ways Dating is Like Hiking slash Dating Tips for Dummies! 1. First you must be sure you have the right foot equipment for the climb. Are you going to wear flip-flops to ascend Killamanjaro? I think not. You’ve got to

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10 Signs You’re Dating an Asshat, 5 Tips to Avoid Them

Asshats. We’ve all been in love with at least one. Haven’t we? If you haven’t, do me a service and lie. What defines an Asshat? (I’m going to refer to men, but Asshatism crosses all gender lines). My #AsshatCriteria: 1.

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What Happened after my Prom Dress Came off…

I tried to open my bedroom window and it wouldn’t budge. Someone had locked it. I glanced confusedly at Albert. This is when we both heard my father’s Clint Eastwood-esque voice from the nearby porch, “Shannon,” he said, “you’ve slit your own throat.”

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A Cheating Boyfriend Drove Me To God

And that’s when I see Her. She’s sitting where I’ve often slept, on Mr. C’s futon. She’s junkie-thin wearing a turquoise mid-riff top exposing a silver belly ring above skinny jeans.

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An Old Flame And The Catcher In The Rye aka When I was the Asshat

I watched as he peered about looking for me and I saw the familiar conscientious expression on his face. Worried he was a little too late. And I realized in that moment that I still loved him.

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The Ghosts Of Boyfriends Past

It is my sophomore year of college circa 1985. I’m driving my lemon of a Ford Mustang on the mean streets of La Habra, California at 3 a.m. What is an intelligent girl of 20 doing out at such an hour? Spying on her boyfriend, that’s what.

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