“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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Marriage Advice & Stories

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What Constitutes Drinking Too Much?

I drink wine. Every day. Usually two glasses and lately it’s red. Henry eats bread. Every day. Sometimes at 2 in the morning. And lately it’s white. I judge his bread. When I hear the paper rustle on the rustic

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Are You Spectatoring During Sex??

My first lover was a USC football player with 0% body fat. He looked like this: You’d think we would have had hot sex. And every now and then we did. But a lot of the time I was, what

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The Embarrassing Thing That Happened During Athletic Lovemaking

Marital Silliness The other night I stopped Henry in the midst of our mating ritual. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m kissing you,” he replied. “But why are you kissing me so softly?” I demanded. “I’m being gentle,” he

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When Sex Is More Meaningful Than Having The “Big O”

“Henry. Henry, wake up! We have to have sex.” “No, we don’t!” “Yes, we do. Now come on.” “I can’t.” “If the musicians on The Titanic could play their violas and cellos ’til the ship went down you can wake

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Long Marriage = Adventurous Sex?

I met my friend Mistress Justine for lunch on Friday. That’s not her real name, but it should be. She and her husband, Raoul (also a pseudonym) have been married 15 years. The last time we spoke, Justine admitted their

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The Death Of Sweetums

It hath come to pass that I am madeth aware, yet again, of a marital sex epiphany. Henry will, from time to ignominious time, refer to me as, and I quote, “SWEETUMS.” This is what Sweetums looks like: Sweetums bakes

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The Moustache Debacle

He Had Me at his Handlebar Mustouche The other day a diminutive man who placed second in The World Beard & Moustache Championship (in accordance with the official Rules and Regulations of the Association of German Beards Clubs) in the

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The Virgin Marriage

In honor of my little brother turning 40 today I’m reposting his love/life philosophies. The gift that keeps on giving. I love you, sweetheart! My brother and his bride were both virgins when they married at twenty-two and twenty-years old.

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Husbands and Wives: Dog Day Afternoon

This is the latest in my Husbands and Wives Series Me: “Let’s get a dog.” Henry: “We already discussed this. Dogs are too expensive. You have to build a fence to keep them in, but they still end up digging

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Husbands and Wives: The Saladarians

This is the latest in my Husbands and Wives Series: Me: Henry did you know that you spend about 85$ a week on buying salads at Whole Foods. Henry: That’s impossible! Me: Here, look, I collated and printed out our

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Husbands and Wives: The Dead Body In The Hallway

The latest in my Husbands and Wives Series. Me: “Henry. Are you awake?” He. Nothing. Me: “Henry. Are you awake?” He. Resting heart rate of 30. He’s dead. Me: “Henry. You seem to be dead. So could you please get

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What Happens When You Give a Man Who Isn’t Your Husband Your Phone Number

The Setting: The Peninsula Hotel lounge in Beverly Hills. Chic. Cloistered. Peopled with gorgeous women of a certain age (35+). My dear friend Glenna and I were also women of a certain age, but we weren’t high-end call girls like

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When Your Spouse Asks You To Take A Lover

Have you ever wondered what you would do if your spouse was disabled by an illness or injury and was no longer able to have sexual relations with you? In my often-morbid musings (being of Irish descent, I manage to

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What I Know About Sex Now That I’m In My 40s at BlogHer 2013

In the blogging world, I had a pinnacle experience tonight. I was ushered onstage by Queen Latifah as one of 12 bloggers to read my work in front of 5,000 of my peers at the BlogHer 2013 conference in Chicago.

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Marital Infidelity: A Marriage Surviving It

Sometimes Things Break Open to Become Better My friend Cleo met her husband Eric twenty-five years ago when she moved into her parents’ retirement home in Miami after she graduated college. She took a waitressing gig until she figured out

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What Happened When Henry And I Dabbled In The Sexy BDSM Underworld

This post contains graphic sexual content which might convince you to never have sex again: Before we had kids, Henry and I decided to walk on the wild side one night. We accepted an invitation from friends to attend a

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Why My Wedding Anniversary Means Nothing To Me

Henry and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  We tell each other not to get each other gifts for our birthdays.  We had our 12th wedding anniversary at Shutters On The Beach on Monday, but now I’m thinking we don’t really

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Sexual Dissatisfaction: When Your Spouse Is No Longer Attractive To You

Recently a reader contacted me regarding my Married Sex series to tell me her story in the hopes of getting some answers. We’ll call my reader Maggie. Maggie has been harboring a secret for the last five years of her

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How Crushing on Gavin DeGraw Almost Got Me Killed

I Adore Gavin DeGraw Is he handsome? I’ll punch you if you say no! Does he sport a six pack? I hope so. Is he a Rhodes scholar? Possibly. Do you even know who the hell I’m talking about ?

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I May Have to Gag My Husband

Henry is outside as I type this, reading the first draft of a book I’m writing. It was quiet out there when I entered. His face appeared stern as he read. He hates it. I can tell just by the

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Gone Fishing Over The Holidays (Christmas Photos)

Hello, dear fellow humans. I have not felt like updating and writing. I’ve felt like eating Christmas cake cookies and drinking egg nog spiked with Thunderbird. Which means I’m fat and happy. (Maybe a little too happy). So I’m going

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Is Bad Sex A Good Reason to Divorce?

My friend Bethany kept falling in lust with men at her office. This would’ve been fine, except that she was in a seventeen-year marriage with two teenaged daughters. She was never physically unfaithful to her husband, Doug, but the cost

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The Happiness Photos

I’m happy today. What the hell am I going to blog about? Oh, Happiness how you foil my creativity! How soft and sloppy you make me! How ineffably boring. Here are my happiness photos: But don’t worry, I’m certain my

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How Many Pre-Marital Lovers Is Too Many?

She Had Vastly More Lovers Than Him  My friend Maggie (who gave me permission to write this) is a volunteer at her children’s elementary school in Seattle, Washington. She’s on the crunchy-granola side, makes all her kids’ clothes, bakes the

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Dissection of the Ménage à Trois

1988 was a banner year for me. I was separately invited by two male college friends to engage in a ménage à trois with them and their wives. I was never flirtatious with, or attracted to these men. I didn’t have

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