“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

Opt-in to the Shannon Colleary Communiqué to have both the Funny & the Wise delivered to your inbox weekly!

Jack Nicholson, Jane Fonda, James Dean and Me?

I don’t know what’s happening, but a hole opens in my chest. It’s a vortex that everything dark and broken gets sucked down into …

Read More

5 Things Older Women Know That Young Women Don’t

I was minding my own business, tweezing my eyebrows using a high powered magnifying mirror, capable of lighting up the crevices of your aging face like floodlights used to interrogate Colombian drug kingpins during the Pablo Escobar era, when I saw it.

Read More

He Says I’m Too Fat, But What Bothers me Most is my Response

I abandon my body completely, as if it were a one-legged stepchild, by saying, “You’re right. I do need to lose 3, 5, 10 pounds. I’ll do it soon.”

Read More

What do Chrissie Hynde, Sexual Consent and a Cup of Tea Have in Common?

When I was a student abroad in 1986, I suffered an attempted rape. I was fortunate, after a protracted struggle, to escape my attacker. Intellectually, I understood that he had absolutely no right to do what he did to me …

Read More

How to Handle the “Sex Talk” With Kids

“Mom, how old do I need to be before I can have sex?” Oh, crap. I am suddenly thrust into a very important conversation with the question-asker, my 9-year old daughter, that I WAS NOT expecting.

Read More

The Mothership Has Landed.

I have my first byline in “O” Oprah Magazine. Here’s a peek.

Read More

How to be Handy in Bed (NSFW!)

“I figured, despite a mild case of carpel tunnel, that my hands could pinch-hit for my euphemistically titled Downtown Dining and Entertainment District.”

Read More

How to Seduce Your Wife

“What could my Mother’s Day gift be? A Spanx trousseau which would make me feel like a slatternly bovine, and render me affronted, so I could lambast my husband with the misplaced anger I feel about everything else in my life.

Read More

Night Three: 101 Nights of Great Sex

My breasts were really quite put out. I’d already extorted six months of breast-feeding out of them back in 2005 …

Read More

He Had a Traumatic Car Accident and I Had to Grow Up

“As I sat by the broken boy’s hospital bed, trying not to flinch away from the constellation of scars on his lips, cheeks and forehead I knew it would look bad if I slipped away now …

Read More

I Was Used by a Catfish!

What if there are hundreds of wealthy sugar daddies dying to throw their money at me so I can finally get front row tickets to RiverDance and they’ll pay anything for Michael Flatley to come out of retirement just for me?

Read More

When I Met a Very Rude Boy

“Listen you privileged little shit, who do you think you are treating this well-meaning middle-aged woman so poorly …”

Read More

Top 14 Things To Do In Italy

You will get lost in Rome. You will get lost in Florence. You will get lost in San Gimignano and anywhere there is a paved road or a goat trail. And it won’t be charming.

Read More

Growing Up Slutty

Back in the car heading north on I-35, I sat sucker-punched. I hadn’t been called “slutty” since high school …

Read More

My 7 Best Summer Memories from 1975

“If any of his four granddaughters (not-a-one grandson!) complained about the fish guts, he’d yell, ‘Shad-up and do it! You catch ’em, you clean ’em, you cook ’em, I eat ’em.’

Read More

What My Hair Was Trying To Tell Me

I was living with a man, at the time, who consistently broke my heart and was pursuing a career that didn’t want me.

Read More

Finally YSL’s Image of a Underweight Model Banned by the ASA.

I was shamed for wanting healthier models. Then the ASA agreed with me.

Read More

That Time I Was Offered Work in a Brothel

I’m in the Torture Room at Fran’s Ranch, a whorehouse in Beatty, Nevada. We’re shooting a scene for a low-budget movie called Leta Has Two Lovers …

Read More

One Father Says Goodbye to His Daughter. Stunning.

“Her room smells of alfalfa even though she has taken the rabbits.”

Read More

My Daughter Has Made an Unsettling Transformation

My daughter has become a cat. She turns 13 years old in six days, but she began the shift to coy feline about two months ago.

Read More

What Women Like In Bed

“A woman demanding (however subtly) to be dominated and controlled can have all this.” …

Read More

What Do Veterans and Stay-At-Home Moms Have in Common?

If you haven’t read Sebastion Junger’s latest piece in Vanity Fair, The Never-Ending War: The Bonds of Battle, you must.

Read More

When The Man You Loved Changes Forever

She did all the things besotted mistresses do. She waited for her phone to ring, she called his home and hung up when his wife answered.

Read More

2 Secret Things Women Want in Bed

As one woman put it: “I am tired of being that precious lady in the bedroom. I’m tired of ‘making love’ and doing things gently all the time.

Read More

Why Did Hot Paramedics Have to See Me that Way?

Into my bedroom strode not one, not two, but three insanely hot paramedics.

Read More