Tag: pregnancy

The Ape Baby

Gestation: 33 Weeks, 5 Days In the last ultrasound our baby’s profile looked like a small ape baby face AND our house has been destroyed.

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Monster Baby

Gestation: 30 Weeks, 4 Days I’m worried I won’t love the new baby as much as I love my firstborn, Clare. I had a dream

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Santa Barbara Nightmare!!

Gestation: 29 Weeks, 5 Days Time: Noon Place: Santa Barbara Biltmore Activity: Solo weekend away Mental Condition: Foot loose and fancy free I’m sitting in

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Alcohol Cravings

Gestation: 21 Weeks, 4 Days We enter a Mexican restaurant for our first dinner out together since the twelfth of never. It smells of tomatillos

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Skinny Postpartum Models

Gestation: 17 Weeks, 6 Days I was having a peaceful moment en toilette — belly bumping up against ballooning breasts, thumbing through a catalogue geared

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These Shoes Weren’t Made For Walkin’

Gestation: 17 Weeks Brand-new black pumps. When I put them on, I’m not a four-months-pregnant-mommy-of-a-toddler-with-a-stockpile-of-Preparation-H-and-Colase.   No. I’m La Femme Nikita … If her cigarette skirt had

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Lonely Mommy

Gestation: 15 Weeks, Six Days I’ve been cruising for mommy friends like a red-assed baboon during mating season. I have a neighbor with a son

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I Want To Barf!

Gestation: 15 Weeks What no one tells pregnant women is that the only way to abate the continual nausea that drones in your body, akin to

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Pregnancy Insomnia

Gestation: 12 Weeks, 6 Days I’m struggling with an intractable case of pregnancy insomnia. I haven’t wanted to write it down in black and white

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Pregnancy Musical Blues

Gestation: 12 Weeks, 4 Days I’m obsessed with The Sound of Music. I watch it compulsively, bursting into tears every time someone bursts into song.

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Self-Help Book About Healing Love Addiction

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