“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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Tag "parenting daughters"

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He Answered the Door With a Gun

Excerpt: “What happened in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. Let’s just say I did not lose my virginity there, but the Kraken had been unleashed. Lance parked his car a good half-mile from my house at 2 a.m. We alighted, both of us with sopping wet hair, me clutching my dripping bikini in my left fist. I felt sexy, beautiful, daring and free right up to the moment when I tried to open my bedroom window and it wouldn’t budge.” Read More …

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Daughters: 10 Reasons You Should Not Have Sex in High School

Dear Daughters, You’re at an age where your father and I have little control over the choices you make when you aren’t with us. We know, from our own experiences, that if you really want to do something, whether beneficial

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My Kids Don’t Rebel Against Me, I Rebel Against Them!

12-year-old Clare looks at me as I’m getting ready to go to the gym. Clare: Shannon, you can’t wear those shorts. Me: I am not Shannon, I am Mom. Clare: You are Shannon when you wear those shorts. Me: Is

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The Post in Which I Exhibit Poor Parenting Skills aka The Exquisite Maternal Martyr

“Alright fine, let’s just go! No one wants to be here anyway so let’s just go home and all get on our electronic devices in separate rooms so we don’t actually have to interact ever again!” Oh yes, that was

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What Happened When I Said No To My Daughter

My daughters’ snuggles are my form of crack. On a biochemical level my body sinks into a deeper calm when I hold them. And it doesn’t seem to matter that they’re at that no-man’s land between toddlerdom and teendom where

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When Your Daughter Hits Below The Belt

It seemed like an ordinary night. There were no harbingers of doom — a murder of black crows on the telephone wires outside, a vanity mirror broken jaggedly down its center.  No, all was as it usually was. Henry was

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My Shiksa Daughters Want to be Jewish

We went to a Bar Mitzvah Saturday. You would have thought we’d asked our tween Shiksa daughters to shave their heads and flap their arms when they walked. The caterwauling. Yes, they had to miss part of their best friend’s

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5 Things Not To Do In Front Of Your Daughters

Clare is 10, Bridget is 8. They still climb in bed with us in the morning. They still want to snuggle in front of the TV. They forever and endlessly want me to scratch their unrelenting backs. Sometimes they declare

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The Puberty Video’s at the end of the Year

Puberty is coming to my house.  I have a fifth grader and the puberty video’s at the end of the year.  But already things are happening.  I’m going to have to go to the training bra section of the neighborhood Macys.

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There will be no child actors here!

A star has been born in our family. Yes, yes, I know Bridget is my child therefore I’m partial. But this is not a subjective opinion, there is scientific proof that she is a star. There is the measurable charismatic

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Breast Buds

We were reading in bed like we usually do. You were extorting me for tickles, like you usually do. Up came your Yankees shirt and there they were. The very beginnings of womanhood on your chest. No! I thought. Not

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I’m Pro-Choice Because I Love My Kids

I’m not political. This isn’t a political blog. But the whole Rush Limbaugh/Sandra Fluke kerfuffle and Obama’s excoriation by the religious right has me steaming. I’m a social liberal who supports Planned Parenthood and Naral. Here’s why… My daughter Clare almost

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Do You Bore Your Kid?

“Friday Wrap-Up: Do You Bore Your Kid?” I have two daughters, 7 &9. One needs constant conversation and connection. The other is a day-dreamer who entertains herself with her own stories. The squeaky wheel is the one who gets most

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Sometimes You Gotta Put Your Boobs On The Table!

Wednesday Epiphany: Sometimes You Gotta Put Your Boobs On The Table Last night I decided to play Monopoly with my daughters instead of allowing them to watch A Dolphin’s Tale for the fiftieth time.  I was trying to be a

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Doesn’t She Know She Could Be In A Body Cast?

Friday Wrap-Up: Doesn’t She Know She Could Be In A Body Cast? I lay in bed beside with my 9-year old Clare at bedtime.  Something serious is troubling her.  We’ve had several in-depth discussions about it already, but apparently she’s

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Do You Really Know Your Kids? Because I’m Clueless.

Just when you try to pigeonhole your kids, they change. This is Bridget (7): If tortured on a bed of red-hot nails I might encapsulate her as: as an outgoing, chatty, Girly Girl who’s hard to get to know because

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I am Hubbell

Great Scott that man was gorgeous! Do you remember that scene in The Way We Were? It’s the one where Barbra Streisand calls Hubbell because they’re broken up and even though she’s really depressed and verklempt her fingernails are stills

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Screwed by the Spring Sing

When I come in from work today I find Bridget flung across her bed scribbling furiously on a yellow legal pad. She’s using a thick, black Sharpie. Her handwriting is frenetic, disturbed. I can distinguish the words “mommy” and “jerk.” I’ve just been

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Sibling Rivalry: What do you mean there’s a new baby coming? (Gestation: 21 weeks)

Whaddaya mean you’re giving me a sibling? Today I lifted my shirt to show 18-month old Clare my belly. “There’s a baby sister in here for you,” I said. She finger-tipped a wooden “F” block and hurled it at my

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