March 20th, 2013
Today sucked. Period. I wrote poorly. I lost legal documents. My iphone (aka the blood that runs in my veins) crashed. I have to end a business relationship. And my tooth fell out. I’m awaiting a crown for what is left of my little nub of a tooth. I will not be posting a picture of it here because I look like Freddy Krueger only with bigger hair.
Normally this is when a little retail therapy kicks in. And I had access. I had to go to the Mac store at the mall to have them reboot my phone and just a credit card swipe away were some of my favorite stores. Zara where I can buy shoes that will hurt so good. But I knew I couldn’t lie to you if I bought something. And I can’t fail after seven days. That would just be so sad. Agreed not quite as sad as Lady Gaga’s meat suit. But in the vicinity. So here’s dress #7. And thank you for keeping me honest.
January 24th, 2013
At first I thought Lena Dunham (the creator, director and star of HBO’s Girls) was fat. I thought her breasts were underachievers. Her belly, with all of its flouting-the-zeitgeist rolls, made me a little uncomfortable. From there Lena’s litany of nudity crimes piled up: she had no discernible musculature beneath her vampirically pale flesh, her thighs and [...]
November 20th, 2012
As you know I’m all about beauty. How to maintain it even if I have to drink the blood of virgin choirboys. Even if I have to do 500 military press push-ups in a pair of Jessica Simpson platforms. And yes, even if I have to give up eating McFlurries. So you can imagine my [...]