• I May Have to Gag My Husband

    January 7th, 2013

    Henry is outside as I type this reading the first draft of a book I’m writing. It was quiet out there when I entered. His face appeared stern as he read. He hates it. I can tell just by the way the heater was blowing in the room. Why does he need heat when my manuscript should be warming the cockles of his heart? Also his shoulders were kind of hunched up as if he were expecting a blow from me, which I would only mete out if he hates my book.  Which brings me back to this …

    I should have become a dentist. People are always going to have cavities and gingivitis. But dentistry has one of the highest suicide rates. Hmm. Then again Hemmingway, Sylvia Plath and Hunter S. Thompson all offed themselves. Fortunately I’m not as brilliant. Writers of average talent tend to live.

    Crap. He just came in and told me he thinks it’s entertaining, but is not sure what the overarching theme is. I hate him a little right now. I’m going to infuse his soap bar with Nair. Perhaps then he’ll see the “overarching theme” in our marriage, which is like everything I do or I will sabotage your bodily hair.

    I’m signing off now to fester.

    The last time he critiqued my work I had to beat him with confetti!

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  • You Read, Therefore I Am

    January 2nd, 2013

    I’m back!  Wait .. whaddaya mean you didn’t know I was gone? Didn’t your world feel a little bit empty? Wasn’t it harder to laugh, cry, flagellate yourself for eating that renegade bear claw that leaped out at you from behind the counter of that Winchell’s Donut shop you don’t remember parking in front of [...]

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  • Gone Fishing Over The Holidays (And Our Christmas Photos)

    December 22nd, 2012

    Hello, dear fellow humans.  I have not felt like updating and writing.  I’ve felt like eating Christmas cake cookies and drinking egg nog spiked with Thunderbird.  Which means I’m fat and happy.  (Maybe a little too happy).  So I’m going to be posting in a slatternly fashion.  I will be back in action three times [...]

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