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“I love when she puts her tiny little hand against my cheek and says, ‘Mommy, I love you!’ and then we close our eyes and take a nap. And then the next thing that happens is she shoves her fucking little finger up my nose!” and “If it weren’t for Sesame Street I’d never take a shit.”Read More
Sunday night I took a hard, violent fall, kinda pin-balled down there. Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit!
I’m not saying I survived, but I thrived. I met a dolphin down there, and I swear to God that dolphin looked, not at me, but into my soul. Into my God damn soul, Annie! And it said, ‘I’m saving you Megan’. Not with its mouth, but…I’m assuming telepathically?
One of the many things I love about the internet is the speed with which the audacity, bravura and sheer paradigm-shifting wonderfulness of our fellow humans can be transported through the ether. This young man is a badass at defeating bullies in the best possible way. Keep Reading!Read More
I’m a terrible mother! For all I know the drama kid’s really staying at school till four playing craps against the side of the handball court with a coupla middle schoolers named Vinnie and Jett who dropped out last month cuz they got caught smoking vapor cigarettes in the girl’s toilet … Keep Reading!Read More
I loooved this video made by filmmaker, Casey Neistat, when he was out of town and found out his wife’s water broke and she was in labor. Talk about rushing to catch a flight.
My early New Year gift to you:Read More
Okay, who here has had a fight with a family member this holiday season? Anybody? Anybody?? Oh, look at all those hands. I count 6,363,247 hands in the air. I’m no different. I had an unexpected row post-Thanksgiving with a loved one where the past was rehashed, shins were kicked and feelings mangled.Read More
2014 was neither the best of times, nor the worst of times. It was just, well, times.
Nobody contracted ebola, nobody was kidnapped by the FARC in Colombia, nobody gambled away the nest egg, nobody inadvertently married Stephen Collins, nobody crashed Kim Kardashian’s nude booty shoot, nobody became a horcrux for part of Charlie Sheen’s soul.Read More
When I was a newborn my grandmas came to meet me for the first time. My dad carried me into the living room swaddled in a blanket, tripped, fell and accidentally threw me into the burning fireplace as everyone screamed.Read More
When the Bossy Docent yells at a child for pulling a pine cone off a tree, yelling, “Leave this land exactly as you found it,” do not whisper to your child’s teacher, “I can just imagine her in bed, ‘leave my vagina just as you found it; parched, spiny and uninhabitable.'”Read More
I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to barf. I didn’t want to get salty. I didn’t want to smell feces. I didn’t want to be dominated by forces beyond my control. That’s right, I didn’t want to goRead More
Dear Daughters, You’re at an age where your father and I have little control over the choices you make when you aren’t with us. We know, from our own experiences, that if you really want to do something, whether beneficialRead More
12-year-old Clare looks at me as I’m getting ready to go to the gym. Clare: Shannon, you can’t wear those shorts. Me: I am not Shannon, I am Mom. Clare: You are Shannon when you wear those shorts. Me: IsRead More
We’re the parents who allowed our 12-year old daughter to watch two R-rated movies. Is it my imagination or have our phones stopped ringing for play dates because we’re the libertines leading our child down the inglorious path of foul-mouthed,Read More
Today’s post comes from filmmaker Lisanne Sartor who shares her parenting what-ifs: As a parent, it’s easy to drive yourself nuts wondering if you’ve irreparably harmed your kids with the mistakes you’ve made. “What if I hadn’t yelled at himRead More
I’m thrilled to introduce screenwriter/director, Lisanne Sartor to all of you. Lisanne’s short film, The Six Letter Word, about an unlikely mother coming to terms with her young son’s autism after an unexpected encounter with one of her johns, features aRead More
I have daughters entering puberty while I simultaneously enter menopause. It’s an occasional Shitastrophy and I expect even more Punji Stick booby traps as their estrogen escalates and mine deteriorates. It was during my pubescent years I began to shape theRead More
The day was perfect for boogie boarding at the beach. The tubes were hollow, the pits weren’t dropping, there weren’t any bombs to pound you and you could even catch air on some radical ramps, Bro. But there Clare stoodRead More