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Peri-Menopause

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Beware the Black Hair! (5 Things Older Women Know That Young Women Don’t)

I was minding my own business, tweezing my eyebrows using a high powered magnifying mirror, capable of lighting up the crevices of your aging face like floodlights used to interrogate Colombian drug kingpins during the Pablo Escobar era, when I saw it. It was small, even demure, but it was there! … Keep Reading!

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Mary Jane Minkin M.D. Answers All of My Questions About How Menopause Affects Sex

Vaginas. Half of us have them. If you’re reading this you may have one and if you don’t have one, you would probably like to be acquainted with one, so this applies to you, too. One day around year fifty the wonderful, multi-tasking vagina will begin to change. Mine, it goes without saying, is still a Maserati. Fast, sleek and a bit of a show-off. But as the last year of hot flashes have made very clear, the times they are a changing.

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How Old Is Too Old To Rock It?

There is a 50+ woman online who out-sexes me by a mile. I’m so thrilled to introduce you to Erica Jagger, a pseudonym evocative of the decadent, libidinous, licentious Glitter Rock era. Erica writes: Recently I read the Yahoo article

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I Want to Look Hot, Not Feel Hot aka I Called in an Expert to Help me Deal with Perimenopause

Today’s guest post guru is helping me kick my perimenopause related hot flashes in the ask-me-no-more-questions. It’s nigh impossible to seduce Henry with wet breasts and a huchacha that’s turned to volcanic ash. So, to the rescue is the ever-fabulous

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10 Apocalyptic Signs a Peri-Menopausal Woman Needs her Meds

ALERT! ALERT! ALL PERI-MENOPAUSAL WOMEN BEWARE: In case you were thinking of accidentally forgetting to renew your antidepressants and weren’t concerned about missing a few days, think again!  10 signs you need your meds to keep peri-menopausal madness at bay.

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My Antidepressant Withdrawal in Book Quotes

7 a.m. Without my antidepressants I awake and think, “I am born.” (Charles Dickens, David Copperfield) I feel fine and fresh and new. I take a brisk walk with color in my cheeks and the wind at my back. I

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The Post In Which They Found A Lump In My Breast

It’s the moment every woman dreads. You’re lying flat on your back, your feet in stirrups and a doctor lady with cold fingers kneads your boobs like they’re dough for Challah bread. She pretends she hasn’t just looked at your

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A Man Frightened By A Menopausal Woman

Hide your brothers, sons, husbands, gardeners and Fed Ex delivery men. The Menopausal Woman is on the loose, leaving nothing but male entrails in her path … (BTW – I wrote and edited this. No one seems to realize this.

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I Didn’t Let That Little Bitch Beat Me

(Warning: This note has Delta Gamma language in it. Turn away if you’re tender about such things.) There’re only two of us in Tabata class today, 40-something fabulous me and a 20-year old UCLA student. I’m gonna take her down

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When You’re Over 45 You Might Need To Have The “Second Talk”

It’s June 27th, 1975. My 10th birthday. Will I get a fast growing hair Barbie? I rip through the Snoopy wrapping paper to discover … Sweet Suzie’s Starter Menstruation Kit. WTH? “Go ahead, honey, open it,” says my mom, face shining beatifically

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4 Sure Signs You’re in Peri menopause

Here is how I know I’m in peri menopause: 1. I’m smoking hot. Not in the good way. I’ll be minding my own business hanging a corpse on a fish hook in a meat freezer in Sicily when suddenly I’m

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