“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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Patio For Women: Cool New App that Saves Men’s Lives

I was lying in bed with Henry feeling forlorn because I didn’t feel as close to a friend of mine as I used to. Henry tried to console me by saying, “You’ll always have me.” To which I replied without hesitation, “Yes, but I need women for intimacy!”

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Not All Feminists Want to Wear Mens’ Penises on a Chain Around Their Neck

We women can tell stories all goddamn day long about how we’ve been mistreated. I could tell you one from today. But I don’t know how much telling those stories will mean until we can get a goddamn grip on the word feminist.

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How Old Is Too Old To Rock It?

There is a 50+ woman online who out-sexes me by a mile. I’m so thrilled to introduce you to Erica Jagger, a pseudonym evocative of the decadent, libidinous, licentious Glitter Rock era. Erica writes: Recently I read the Yahoo article

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My Life as an Assassin

I didn’t realize when I woke up this morning there was a price on my head. I rolled out of bed after the kids and Henry were off to school and work, slipping on my terrycloth robe and padding barefoot

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The Breast Expert With Vertigo

Intimacy with strangers just happens to me. There was the gentleman confessor of an adulterous liaison on the flight back from Boulder and now there is the Breast Expert with vertigo. It happened in the Macy’s at the City Creek

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I Want to Look Hot, Not Feel Hot aka I Called in an Expert to Help me Deal with Perimenopause

Today’s guest post guru is helping me kick my perimenopause related hot flashes in the ask-me-no-more-questions. It’s nigh impossible to seduce Henry with wet breasts and a huchacha that’s turned to volcanic ash. So, to the rescue is the ever-fabulous

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10 Apocalyptic Signs a Peri-Menopausal Woman Needs her Meds

ALERT! ALERT! ALL PERI-MENOPAUSAL WOMEN BEWARE: In case you were thinking of accidentally forgetting to renew your antidepressants and weren’t concerned about missing a few days, think again!  10 signs you need your meds to keep peri-menopausal madness at bay.

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My Antidepressant Withdrawal in Book Quotes

7 a.m. Without my antidepressants I awake and think, “I am born.” (Charles Dickens, David Copperfield) I feel fine and fresh and new. I take a brisk walk with color in my cheeks and the wind at my back. I

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It Happened To Me: How Women Can Avoid Date in 9 Steps

“The thing about being murdered,” writes William Langewiesche in this May’s issue of Vanity Fair, “it usually comes as a surprise.” The Same Can Be Said of Date Rape. When I awoke that bright spring morning of March 21st, 1986

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The Most Important “Sexy” Model Video Ever – Save The Children USA

This brought tears to my eyes. Save The Children USA tried to make saving children “sexy.” Whatever it takes to get our attention. It’s working.  

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Why you Must Run not Walk to the BlogHer 2014 Conference aka Your Vagina Wants you to go!

Okay people, as an ambassador for this year’s BlogHer 2014 conference I must ask this question: Who wouldn’t  want to attend a conference where one of the keynote speakers is known for saying this, “If someone asked me to pick

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My Prom Don’t-Kiss-and-Tell aka Why Didn’t you Want to Kiss me?

Here I am with my first prom date. It turns out I was the only girl he DIDN’T kiss. Maybe if I had the right prom dress? (let me set the scene.) Here we are (to the left) in a tight

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Male Blog Readers, Come Out of the Woodwork and Tell Me Why You Read Me?

Hi guys — so I’m working on marketing my website to transition from pocket change traffic, to pay-the-mortgage traffic. One thing my analytics tell me is that 54% of my readers are men, which I admit really surprised me. I

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The Post In Which They Found A Lump In My Breast

It’s the moment every woman dreads. You’re lying flat on your back, your feet in stirrups and a doctor lady with cold fingers kneads your boobs like they’re dough for Challah bread. She pretends she hasn’t just looked at your

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Does My New ABOUT Page Work? I Need Your Input

Hello Readers, Friends, Family and Porn Spammers. It would mean so much to me if you could give me notes on my new About page. Is it too long? Are there parts that are boring? Does it make you want

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My Wittiest, Wisest, Most Inappropriate Commenters (Andy) This Week!

Today isn’t about me. Well, it kind of is about me because I want to post some of my favorite comments about me. Yes, I need to get a life. But, I’m frequently stunned by how funny, insightful and creative

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There’s Always a Way to Feel Inadequate Online aka The Small Willy

The number of you stumbling upon this blog is steadily rising. It’s made me feel a bit like I imagine a man with a very small willy might feel if he woke up because his formerly tiny willy is now

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Today TWFKAB Turns 3!

I started this blog on October 18th, 2010. I began by publishing my first novel, Into The Child: 40 Weeks in the Gestational Wilderness, on the site which – if you haven’t read it you should in order to fill my

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The Reason I Didn’t Want to go to my 30th High School Reunion

In considering the usual psychological tropes for why alumni don’t attend their high school reunions my research has come to this: (1)He feels too fat. (2)She’s gotten divorced. (3)He’s never been married. (4) She doesn’t have children. (5)He’s unemployed. (6)She’s

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A Man Frightened By A Menopausal Woman

Hide your brothers, sons, husbands, gardeners and Fed Ex delivery men. The Menopausal Woman is on the loose, leaving nothing but male entrails in her path … (BTW – I wrote and edited this. No one seems to realize this.

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What Do You Do When Your Best Friend Tells You She Might Be Gay?

I’ve known Maggie since we were freshmen in high school. We’re now both married moms who don’t get to see much of each other because she lives in a different state. But occasionally she comes back to California to visit

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I Have A Compulsion … I Want To Stop!

This compulsion I have has a profound affect on my happiness … I’m a habitual Tryer. I spend a lot of my time trying. Lately I’ve been trying to get my daughters to school, soccer, Little League, piano, drama and

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Help Me Pick A Spiegel Dress For My 30th High School Reunion

As most of you know I engaged in the Herculean task of wearing 71 Dresses in 71 Days and during that time didn’t allow myself to buy even ONE item of clothing.  (I did slip once when I received a

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Not All Men Are Rapists

Yes. An inflammatory headline. Since the recent Steubenville rape case and excavating and writing about my own experience as a victim of attempted rape when I was in college, I’ve grown increasingly anxious about raising daughters.  Suddenly the world seems overrun

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My Freelance Brain On Crack

Okay, okay, so first I have to connect with that woman I met at the conference on Facebook after which I need to change my Twitter name to @shannoncolleary because no one knows I’m @wifedominatrix and because that might be

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