Shannon Bradley-Colleary | Love & Sex - 7/7

Love & Sex

The Ghosts Of Boyfriends Past

It is my sophomore year of college circa 1985. I’m driving my lemon of a Ford Mustang on the mean streets of La Habra, California at 3 a.m. What is an intelligent girl of 20 doing out at such an hour? Spying on her boyfriend, that’s what.

Passion Parties Make You Feel Unsexy

Wednesday Epiphany: Passion Parties Make You Feel Unsexy Have you done it in an elevator? Yes. Have you done it in an airplane? Of course. Have you done it with a Native American? Does a Oaxacan busboy count? Have you

Gay People and Straight Middle-Aged Women Unite. Because Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner!

Saturday night I found myself undulating in the well-muscled arms of a bare-chested, slick brown-skinned, 6′ 2″ God of a man whom we shall call Atlas. What did Henry say when he found out? “You go, Girl!” Because I was

Crystal the Porn Star and Other Ignominies

“I’ve looked on many women with lust. I’ve committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I will do this and forgives me.” — Jimmy Carter Freakin’ Jimmy Carter, man, he lays it out there. Okay, so I’ve had this

Gavin DeGraw Almost Got Me Killed!

I blame it all on AOL. It happened a month ago to the day. I logged on to AOL to check my email and got sucked into the pseudo-news vortex. Lindsay Lohan had rotten teeth: Ashton Kutcher slept with a

The Clitoris: Does Size Really Matter?

Author’s note: (In this post I will use Google-recommended euphemisms for the word VAGINA. They will be written ALL IN CAPS). Henry has informed me that I am blogging entirely too much about the BIRTH CANNON so I perused my

My Last Post On Blogspot! aka Batwoman Says Good-bye

This will be my last post on Blogspot, (in case the title was ambiguous or you’re on crack and can only hear the high-pitched whistles dogs howl at). I have no feelings about Blogspot except it seems to have a

My Unnatural Fixation With Gavin DeGraw

I’m obsessed with Gavin DeGraw. I had no idea who Gavin DeGraw was until he got beaten up in New York and my morbid curiosity led me to his “I Don’t Want To Be” video here… Yummy Gavin I’m a

All About My Vagina aka When Does Menopause Start?

Okay. It’s not as inappropriate as it sounds. Try not to be disappointed. I bring you all you ever wanted to know or didn’t want to know all about my vagina. BTW When does menopause start? And for more on

I Know It’s Not Modern, But I’m In Love With My Husband

Henry (not his real name, his real name’s … Britannicus Maximus) drove up to Santa Barbara from our home in L.A. today to pick up our kids at my mom’s house where they and I have been frolicking and creating

Jealous of that Bastard Daddy! (Gestation: 22 Weeks)

My eighteen month-old toddler Clare loves her daddy more than me. There it is. In black-and-white for all to see. A public indictment of my mothering skills. C : “What’s she doing here?” H: “Just ignore her and maybe she’ll go away.”

Tonight’s The Night, Baby

Last night was going to be The Night. I felt a lurking presence behind me as I Googled “Thesaurus” trying to find a better word for “engorgement” (don’t ask) on the internet. I turned to see Henry standing behind me. He was

Man Garage

My husband to the Garage: What happened to you? You used to look so pulled together? You use to protect a car with the outdoor home security cameras but now you can’t even fit a car in you. The Garage

The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm

My third child, Winston. He has nothing to do with turning 46, but I love him. My milk came in when I held him. Today I’m 46. Shit. Forty. Six. (well, it was yesterday, but I just got around to posting).

10th Wedding Anniversary

Shhhh. I’m at the San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara for my 10th wedding anniversary. Don’t tell anyone who might try to find me. Including my kids and husband. I’m alone. I amstill married. I think. Kidding. I’m still married, 10

Arnold Schwarzenegger aka Arnold Schwarzen-ass!

Eleven years ago Arnold Schwarzenegger told my husband he would be a “SCHMUCK” if he didn’t get me to sign a pre-nup before we got married. Oops, just a minute. Have to pick up that name I just dropped. But it’s

Married Sex: Fact or Fiction? I’ll Never Tell

Sarah and Simon had been married ten years. They had two children, Octavia and Penelope, ages two and four. Their angels and their succubae. The couple shared a post-partum stress disorder that manifested in the certainty that their daughters would be felled by whooping cough,

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby (Gestation: 31 weeks)

As I swallowed a third Tums to quell the pillaging heartburn that comes of eating chicken milanesa when you’re nearly eight months pregnant, I dreamt of not being a mommy for one whole week. I want just one measly week

Alcohol Cravings (Gestation: 21 Weeks, 4 Days)

We enter a Mexican restaurant for our first dinner out together since the twelfth of never. It smells of tomatillos and pinto beans con queso, deep-fried corn tortilla chips and freshly blended Jose Cuervo 1600 margaritas with salted rims. The

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