“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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I Was Used by a Catfish!

Excerpt: What if there are hundreds of wealthy sugar daddies dying to throw their money at me so I can finally get front row tickets to RiverDance and they’ll pay anything for Michael Flatley to come out of retirement just for me? (Henry, you better step up your game!) Pause. Sip of Wine. Ruminate. Look under shirt at round tummy. Another Sip of Wine. Eat an Entire Snickers Bar. Then This Thought. (Read more…)

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A Potpourri of Married Sex and Asshat Advice From ShannonColleary.com

Hello Fair Reader. There are two of me now. My personal blog here and my relationship website where you’ll find the same ribald, inappropriate, yet hopefully helpful (?) advice about dating and marriage. Here’s what’s been going on over there: You’re Going

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5 Reasons I Sometimes Want to Leave my Husband

Excerpt: My husband, Joe and I, recently celebrated our 22nd wedding anniversary. We’ve been very lucky to have spent most of these years very happily married. But I’d be lying if I told you that I’ve never wanted to pack up my belongings and head for the hills. Blissfully alone. Read More …

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What Women Like In Bed, From The Most Interesting Man In The World

Excerpt: “A woman demanding (however subtly) to be dominated and controlled can have all this. She knows full well the power she has, while she’s lying there tied and ‘helpless’— we both know what a joke that is, but mutually ignore that bit. Though it will all be over if I tie her up and forget where I left her. After that it will be into Shady Pines and tying up nurses. Something to look forward to.” Keep reading …

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2 Secret Things Women Want in Bed. Clue: The Canadian Lynx.

NOT FOR KIDS: Ah, fantasies, the beauty of them lies in the fact that many are not realized. But as one woman put it: “I am tired of being that precious lady in the bedroom. I’m tired of ‘making love’ and doing things gently all the time. I want him to (…) talk to me as though he just met me and cares nothing about what I want. I want him to ravish me like an animal and tell me to be quiet whenever I try to say something.” Read more …

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She Agreed to a Threesome and Lost Herself

A recent client I’ll call Sandy has been with Jim for almost four years. During that time he’s been unpredictable, unfaithful and unkind. But Sandy’s co-dependent addiction to Jim has made it impossible for her to leave him.
Finally, in the hopes of pleasing him by letting him know she’s willing to do anything for his love, Sandy agreed to participate in a sexual threesome with Jim and a second woman READ MORE

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He Hit on Me, Then Married Her. Tales From an Inadvertent Matchmaker.

Excerpt: Then one night at the Peninsula I noted two gentlemen eyeing Glenna and me from a neighboring table. We’ll call them The Accountant and The Silver Fox. As his pseudonym suggests The Silver Fox was north of 55 and one of those men who age magnificently. An athletic build, sparkling blue eyes, a real looker. Read More …

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She Wanted to Move in After Dating One Week! Shannon Colleary Advises her Guy!

The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful website is where I’ll continue to tell tall tales about naked Dutch boom operators, lady gardens, the tunnel of f#@k, Lena Dunham’s breasts, my Gwyneth Paltrow voodoo doll and Henry’s prowess in the boudoir, but for dating and marriage advice you’ll go to shannoncolleary.com

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The Brits Tell Us How to Date at Lovestruck

Have you been single so long with you no longer own a matching underwear set? Is ‘freezing eggs’ a definite phrase in your Google history? Own a cat or two? Then this post is for you! Keep Reading …

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Sizzle Video for our Shift For Love Seminar & My New Relationship Site is Live!

I’ve launched my new website where I write about Asshat Recovery, the Dating Dojo & Marriage Mojo. I’ve also started an “Ask Shannon” video series. So far I’ve shot: #1 She wanted to move in the first week they were dating. Is that normal? #2 The Number One Dating Rule. #3 What do you do when your Married Sex sucks? #4 What Can I do when I no Longer find my Spouse Attractive?

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A Beautiful Brunette was After my Man so I Pulled a George Costanza!

He was going to see Margot. A tall, slender, yet buxom drink of Brunette and my worst nightmare. I thought he’d given her up for good, but recently he’d mentioned that she was back in his life as a “friend.” I wasn’t a lesbian, yet I wasn’t sure even I could keep my hands off of Margot if we were alone too long. Keep Reading …

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How Do Sex and Nascar Racing Add up to a Healthy Marriage?

If I were to think of our sex life as a Nascar Race then there are some months that we go around the track quite a bit. I pit stop long enough only to get new rubber and often have a crew-chief telling me how to go faster, drive harder and encouraging me to come up on the corners … keep reading!

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One Task: How to Build Self-Esteem from my Asshat Recovery Program

Back in my Asshat days I was incredibly annoying. And I wasn’t even the Asshat. But when you’re dating one your behavior can get Bitchtastic. I knew everything that my Asshat, Mr. Cruelly Handsome, should be doing if he were ever going to be anything more than an execrable excuse for a boyfriend. (Keep reading for my self-esteem boosting exercise!)

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Shift For Love: I’m Speaking At My First Relationship Seminar With Dr. Gary Penn!

I’m thrilled to announce my participation in my first-ever relationship seminar, Shift For Love, on (mark your calendars) Saturday, April 18th in Santa Monica, California! Below you’ll meet the inimitable Dr. Gary Penn of the mellifluous voice and sage advice, and the creative, effusive image-coach Kimberly Seltzer along with what the three of us have planned for this all-day event.

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11 Actionable Tasks to get out of an Abusive Relationship with an Asshat

Addiction to a person is no different than addiction to a substance. All of the same symptoms can take hold: Descent into a shame-spiral about the addiction. An inability to control your own behavior often participating in self-destructive, compulsive and furtive activities. Keep Reading!

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Are You Willing to Admit Your Number? Not that one, Your REAL Number?

Me: Honey, I lied and told everyone we only have sex once a week. I didn’t want to make them feel inadequate by giving them the real number. Henry: Our real number isn’t even in the realm of quantifiability given its massive girth. Me: It’s kind of like in Interstellar when Matthew McConaughey was floating between worlds on the inexplicable time continuum. That’s how many times we have sex a week except that time is collapsed and weeks are really eons of incomprehensibility. Henry: After all of those words I’m too tired to have sex, except maybe in the square root of Pi arena. Keep Reading!

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3 Steps to Quitting Your Addiction to the Asshat

I have some ground-breaking information for those of you still enmeshed with an Asshat. By “enmeshed” I mean, thinking about her all of the time, feeling clingy when she’s not around, calling him six times an hour, snooping around in her drawers to see if she’s cheating, sitting outside his house eating donuts and drinking Thunderbird wearing a headset to listen to him through the microphone you taped under his bed while he was in the john.

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Caught In The Act and Traumatized!

Midnight. Exhausted as we were, we were not going down (so to speak) without a fight. We’d just begun certain preliminary gestures toward one another. Clothes were shucked, body parts beginning to mingle like awkward teenagers at an after-school dance when the distinct sound of padding feet made us freeze. Keep Reading!

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The #1 Thing you Need to get out of an Asshatty, Abusive Relationship!

One of my rock bottoms was discovering my boyfriend romancing another woman at 2 a.m. in his apartment, which I’d been staking out for three days. I was on a first-name basis with the cops in the police car next to me staking out a drug ring. We exchanged donuts. Keep reading!

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Slippery When Wet!

I remember the moment as if it were yesterday. I’d gone into my college boyfriend’s parents’ bedroom in search of Kleenex when I noticed something on their night table that embarrassed me so much it sent me pelting for the exit. Was it a the entire Penthouse backlog circa 1976? No. Was it an intimidating dildo modeled after Joe Namath? No. Was it Michael Jackson’s sparkling white, inexplicable glove? No, it was…

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Answer 7 Questions to Discover if You’re in a CoDependent Relationship (with an Asshat!)

1. You are unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of a specific person. Example: When my former Asshat decided at the last minute not to come to my best friend’s wedding with me (and I was a bridesmaid!) because he’d just returned from a boys’ Vegas trip where he’d probably slept with too many hookers …

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5 Reasons You Have to Stop Seeing the Asshat as a Human Being

If you see an Asshat as a human being you’ll begin to miss the specific things you love about him, instead of focusing on the overall crappy way he makes you feel. Keep Reading!?

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How to get out of an Abusive Relationship: get into the Audience of your own Life

He wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me, all he did was play pool. The following morning, after we woke up, he pointedly looked at me and went straight back to the pool table, picked up the cue and began racking the balls. I wanted to rack his balls.

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Worst Husband in the World, Killing My Own Kid Video Gone Viral

When I was a newborn my grandmas came to meet me for the first time. My dad carried me into the living room swaddled in a blanket, tripped, fell and accidentally threw me into the burning fireplace as everyone screamed.

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5 Reasons Using Sex to Audition for Wife Won’t Work

Here’s why using sex to audition for wife will fail every time: 1. Men who are afraid of commitment are like bloodhounds when it comes to agendas. They can smell you gaming them over any camouflaging pheromones you emit.

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