“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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Marriage

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Is There a Circumstance When a Married Man Should Take a Mistress?

I am frequently mistaken for a priest. People confess things to me. I don’t ask them to tell me their secrets, but I must have a non-judgemental face because in under five minutes flat the gentleman in seat 2C on

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8 Signs my Husband Needs Sex

It was time. I could tell it was time because Henry, who usually traverses the house with the stealth of a Native American tracking a herd of jittery American Bison, had begun stomping around and inadvertently slamming into furniture as

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How to Have Good Sex: 5 Sexy Bonuses to Afternoon Delight

MY RACY ADVICE ABOUT HOW TO HAVE GOOD SEX! It might’ve been a week ago, but I suspect it’s longer. It’s definitely happened since Valentine’s Day. I think. Blame it on the bout of spring allergies with their attendant mucous.

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Does Your Wife or Husband do This? aka How Much Sex is Normal?

Dear Abby had her hands full with this query: Dear Abby: I have been married to a wonderful man for 30 years. Our marriage may not be perfect, but it’s quite good. My dilemma is this: My husband keeps track

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Why I Couldn’t Resist Him…

Marriage advice from a Wife Dominatrix: Last weekend I wanted to eat my husband alive. His eyes were more cerulean blue than a ‘Sconset sky on a bike-ride Sunday. His pecs were glorious mounds of muscled filet mignon and just

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How TV Sex Sets Us Up To Fail In Bed aka Married Sex

I just discovered Scandal on Netflix. Yes. I know. I’m coming (pun intended) to the Oliva Pope/President Fitzgerald party waaaaaay late. But I’ve come to the party with a vengeance. I’ve managed to watch all 40+ episodes that have aired to

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4 Reasons Your Husband Does not Want Sex That Have Nothing to do With you

There’s a great article by Laurie Watson, MA in Psychology Today citing 4 reasons your husband does not want sex that have nothing to do with your desirability. Which kind of lets us off the hook ladies! It was a revelatory

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I Want You To Dominate Me In Bed!

In bed I’m soft. Demure. Enticing as Brigitte Bardot in And God Created Woman, with doe-like come-hither glances and marzipan hair. I’m as tremulous as the surface of tea in a cup perched on a plate balanced on a stick

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What Constitutes Drinking Too Much?

I drink wine. Every day. Usually two glasses and lately it’s red. Henry eats bread. Every day. Sometimes at 2 in the morning. And lately it’s white. I judge his bread. When I hear the paper rustle on the rustic

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Are You Spectatoring During Sex??

My first lover was a USC football player with 0% body fat. He looked like this: You’d think we would have had hot sex. And every now and then we did. But a lot of the time I was, what

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The Embarrassing Thing That Happened During Athletic Lovemaking

The other night I stopped Henry in the midst of our mating ritual. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m kissing you,” he replied. “But why are you kissing me so softly?” I demanded. “I’m being gentle,” he explained. “I

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When Sex Is More Meaningful Than Having The Big O

“Henry. Henry, wake up! We have to have sex.” “No, we don’t!” “Yes, we do. Now come on.” “I can’t.” “If the musicians on The Titanic could play their violas and cellos ’til the ship went down  you can wake

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Long Marriage = Adventurous Sex?

I met my friend Mistress Justine for lunch on Friday. That’s not her real name, but it should be. She and her husband, Raoul (also a pseudonym) have been married 15 years and the last time we spoke Justine admitted

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The Death Of Sweetums aka Entering the DMZ (Demaritalized Zone)

It hath come to pass that I am madeth aware, yet again, of a marital sex epiphany. Henry will, from time to ignominious time, refer to me as, and I quote, “SWEETUMS.” This is what Sweetums looks like: Sweetums bakes

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Henry You Can’t Read This One Because It’s About Your Christmas Gift aka The Moustache Debacle

The other day a diminutive man who placed second in The World Beard & Moustache Championship (in accordance with the official Rules and Regulations of the Association of German Beards Clubs) in the “English Moustache” category attracted me into his

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The Virgin Marriage

In honor of my little brother turning 40 today I’m reposting his sex life philosophies. The gift that keeps on giving. I love you, sweetheart! My brother and his bride were both virgins when they married at twenty-two and twenty-years

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The Art of Kissing Your Husband

Something unusual happened the other night. Henry and I spent a long time kissing. I’m sad to say this has become unusual. When it’s time to hit the sack and sex is on the menu there’s some perfunctory kissing and then

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Husbands and Wives: Dog Day Afternoon

This is the latest in my Husbands and Wives Series Me: “Let’s get a dog.” Henry: “We already discussed this. Dogs are too expensive. You have to build a fence to keep them in, but they still end up digging

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Husbands and Wives: The Saladarians

This is the latest in my Husbands and Wives Series: Me: Henry did you know that you spend about 85$ a week on buying salads at Whole Foods. Henry: That’s impossible! Me: Here, look, I collated and printed out our

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Husbands and Wives: The Dead Body In The Hallway

The latest in my Husbands and Wives Series. Me: “Henry. Are you awake?” He. Nothing. Me: “Henry. Are you awake?” He. Resting heart rate of 30. He’s dead. Me: “Henry. You seem to be dead. So could you please get

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What Happens When You Give a Man Who Isn’t Your Husband Your Phone Number

The Setting: The Peninsula Hotel lounge in Beverly Hills. Chic. Cloistered. Peopled with gorgeous women of a certain age (35+). My dear friend Glenna and I were also women of a certain age, but we weren’t high-end call girls like

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When Your Spouse Asks You To Take A Lover

Have you ever wondered what you would do if your spouse was disabled by an illness or injury and was no longer able to have sexual relations with you? In my often-morbid musings (being of Irish descent I manage to

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What I Know About Sex Now That I’m In My 40s at BlogHer 2013

In the blogging world I had a pinnacle experience tonight, which was to be ushered onstage by Queen Latifah (who is outrageously hot) as one of 12 bloggers to read my work in front of 5,000 of my peers at

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Marital Infidelity: A Marriage Surviving It

My friend Cleo met her husband Eric twenty-five years ago when she moved into her parents’ retirement home in Miami after she graduated college. She took a waitressing gig until she figured out how to mobilize a degree in English

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What Happened When Henry And I Dabbled In The Sexy BDSM Underworld

(This post contains graphic sexual content which might convince you to never have sex again) Before kids Henry and I decided to walk on the wild side one night when we accepted an invitation from friends to attend a BDSM

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