“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

Opt-in to the Shannon Colleary Communiqué to have both the Funny & the Wise delivered to your inbox weekly!

Avoid Asshats

Back to homepage

My Holiday Gift to You? No More Narcissists!

Hello my Beauties — I’ve been cheating on this site with my relationship site at shannoncolleary.com — I’m hoping my life-coaching business for women who want out of toxic relationships to find Real Love will become a micro-business that supports my writing habit. But for those of you in the dating theater on Tinder, and ComeDoMeUnderABushel .com, here are my latest — some illuminating pieces on how to avoid the Asshats and find Real Love. xoxo S

Read More

5 Wisdom Bites on How to Handle Difficult People

While going through my divorce, my therapist said to me “if he was like this while you were married, why do you expect him to be different now?” The realization really jarred me: it was true. Stop wishing the asshat was different. Don’t expect a change in behavior. Asshats don’t suddenly become aware of their asshat status and reform their ways. Keep Reading …

Read More

Blog Break: I’m Writing a Book (Beware Asshats)

Excerpt: “The reason a woman over 50 posts photos of herself in lingerie on social media and her blog is that she’s fishing for compliments. She wants you to write stuff like, ‘You are one hot mama!’ or ‘The girls looks great!’ (‘the girls’ in thisShannon Bathroom 2 instance = boobs). Or, ‘How can you write so well when you look so good?’ (Which will offend some women, because the question presupposes that good female writers are unattractive, but it will not offend me.)” Keep Reading …

Read More

Gentlemen, Don’t do “THIS” When it Comes to Women …

Excerpt: “I’m a woman, not a fellow man in the dating war theater, down in the trenches under heavy artillery fire with my penis-packing compadres. And sometimes women are considered man-hating harridans when they scold men for Asshattery. But it’s a chance I’ll have to take! Because I am coining Rule #2 to Avoid Becoming a Male Asshat …” Keep Reading:

Read More

5 New Asshat Recovery Articles on my Relationship Site. (Inc. Family-of-Origin Dysfunction)

I have five new articles on my relationship website. They cover kicking butt for your inner child, vanquishing unwarranted shame, pro-active tasks to figure out what to do with family-of-origin dysfunction and addiction to Asshattery. Click for links!

Read More

Red Flags #7 and #8 That you Might Be Dating an Asshat. (& What to do About it)

Excerpt: “Red Flag #7: He Makes You Feel Bad About Your Appearance and Your Personality. Slowly but surely toxic people work to undermine your confidence.They criticize the way you look, the way you talk, the way you eat, the way you do pretty much everything. They’ll even criticize you for reacting negatively to their outrageous, emotionally abusive behavior. My client Beatrice (not her real name) was living with her boyfriend of three years, Matthew.” Keep Reading …

Read More

Red Flags #5 and #6 That You’re Dating an Asshat!

My online #AsshatRecovery tutorial is up and running on my relationship site and I’m now taking clients who would like to ditch their Asshat and find real love. Pop over and have a look.

Read More

Red Flag #4 – Are You Dating An Asshat?

Excerpt: “You’re beginning to accept less and less in the relationship, because your self-esteem takes a hit every time you take him back hoping for better treatment. You’re most likely addicted to the Asshat at this juncture. And when we’re addicted to something or someone and we use again, we essentially betray ourselves.” Keep Reading …

Read More

The 3rd Red Flag You’re Dating an Asshat is LIVE on ShannonColleary dot Com

Excerpt: “Shortly after I left my last toxic lover, Mr. Cruelly Handsome, I developed a mad crush on a particularly gorgeous Frenchman who was my male roommate’s close friend. I’d heard the Frenchman was a rogue. Going through women like someone with the Avian Flu goes through Kleenex.” Keep Reading!

Read More

A Potpourri of Married Sex and Asshat Advice From ShannonColleary.com

Hello Fair Reader. There are two of me now. My personal blog here and my relationship website where you’ll find the same ribald, inappropriate, yet hopefully helpful (?) advice about dating and marriage. Here’s what’s been going on over there: You’re Going

Read More

She Agreed to a Threesome and Lost Herself

A recent client I’ll call Sandy has been with Jim for almost four years. During that time he’s been unpredictable, unfaithful and unkind. But Sandy’s co-dependent addiction to Jim has made it impossible for her to leave him.
Finally, in the hopes of pleasing him by letting him know she’s willing to do anything for his love, Sandy agreed to participate in a sexual threesome with Jim and a second woman READ MORE

Read More

Sizzle Video for our Shift For Love Seminar & My New Relationship Site is Live!

I’ve launched my new website where I write about Asshat Recovery, the Dating Dojo & Marriage Mojo. I’ve also started an “Ask Shannon” video series. So far I’ve shot: #1 She wanted to move in the first week they were dating. Is that normal? #2 The Number One Dating Rule. #3 What do you do when your Married Sex sucks? #4 What Can I do when I no Longer find my Spouse Attractive?

Read More

A Beautiful Brunette was After my Man so I Pulled a George Costanza!

He was going to see Margot. A tall, slender, yet buxom drink of Brunette and my worst nightmare. I thought he’d given her up for good, but recently he’d mentioned that she was back in his life as a “friend.” I wasn’t a lesbian, yet I wasn’t sure even I could keep my hands off of Margot if we were alone too long. Keep Reading …

Read More

3 Steps to Quitting Your Addiction to the Asshat

I have some ground-breaking information for those of you still enmeshed with an Asshat. By “enmeshed” I mean, thinking about her all of the time, feeling clingy when she’s not around, calling him six times an hour, snooping around in her drawers to see if she’s cheating, sitting outside his house eating donuts and drinking Thunderbird wearing a headset to listen to him through the microphone you taped under his bed while he was in the john.

Read More

Answer 7 Questions to Discover if You’re in a CoDependent Relationship (with an Asshat!)

1. You are unable to find satisfaction in your life outside of a specific person. Example: When my former Asshat decided at the last minute not to come to my best friend’s wedding with me (and I was a bridesmaid!) because he’d just returned from a boys’ Vegas trip where he’d probably slept with too many hookers …

Read More

How to get out of an Abusive Relationship: get into the Audience of your own Life

He wouldn’t talk to me or even look at me, all he did was play pool. The following morning, after we woke up, he pointedly looked at me and went straight back to the pool table, picked up the cue and began racking the balls. I wanted to rack his balls.

Read More

5 Reasons Using Sex to Audition for Wife Won’t Work

Here’s why using sex to audition for wife will fail every time: 1. Men who are afraid of commitment are like bloodhounds when it comes to agendas. They can smell you gaming them over any camouflaging pheromones you emit.

Read More

Stop Psychoanalyzing the Abuser (Asshat), 5 Reasons You Can’t Change Him.

Are you an Asshat? Because I can fix you. If you’re a car, then I’m a mechanic. If you’re a computer, then I’m the Geek Squad. If you’re a porn star, then I’m the fluffer.

Read More

Do You Worry the Asshat Will Perish Without You?

Suddenly we put on our white hat, brandish our battle saber and charge in on our noble steed to rescue the Asshats them from their very own Asshattery, abandoning ourselves in the process!

Read More

What the Asshats Say to Make You Stay!

In making me feel smaller, The Greek God ensured that I’d never leave because, considering all of my flaws, I believed I was lucky to get him and should just put up with the times he treated me poorly.

Read More

When an Asshat tells you he’s an Asshat, Believe Him

Here’s the funny thing about people. They tell you who they are. And they often tell you right away. Recently I worked with an old friend of mine on a writing project. We’d known each other many years and I

Read More

5 Asshat Moves I Ignored Thanks to Lust

Back before Henry, when the dinosaurs roamed the land and I loved Asshats, Mr. Cruelly Handsome and I were driving to Tijuana down the 405 freeway at 2 p.m., heading south to donate LAFD firefighting equipment to the Mexican bomberos

Read More

When I Tried to Kill my Ex With a No. 2 Pencil

He walked in the door of our house at 1 a.m. as if it were only 6 p.m. and he didn’t reek of Other Women. I sat on the couch pretending to watch the Late, Late, Late Show, as if

Read More

Video One: The Asshat Recovery Program

I’m excited about getting this series off the ground. Have a look at the video and see if your love life has the signs of an abusive relationship. Because I’ve been there, baby, and I can help! Also, you get to watch me sweating like Albert Brooks in Broadcast News.

Read More

14 Reasons You Attract Asshats

When it comes to dating, do you keep choosing Asshats over and over and over again? I was an Asshat-magnet right up until my womb entered its geriatric phase and I had to get serious and stalk Henry who I

Read More