“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

Download Shannon's story, "Beautiful Boy, Brandon Lee," in its full length, excerpted from her book, Smash, Crash & Burn.

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Are You Spectatoring During Sex??

My first lover was a USC football player with 0% body fat. He looked like this: You’d think we would have had hot sex. And every now and then we did. But a lot of the time I was, what

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Dreaming of Butt Crunches in Paris aka Workouts-On-Demand Giveaway

I’m in Paris eating Brie, Mousse Au Chocolat, Tarte Tatin, Foi Gras, Boeuf Bourguignon, Coq Au Vin, Crepes and Escargot. Excuse me while I wipe the butter, garlic and cream off of my chubby little fingers …. I’m back. Must

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My Kickass Plan For Aging Like A Viking Warrior – Brought to you By Pfizer

At 48 I’m not even middle-aged. No, I’m not in denial, because the women in my family live to be as old as the Great Basin Bristlecone pine in the southwest United States. Said tree is 5,063 years old. And

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My Two Secrets to Losing Weight (Even Over The Holidays!)

I’m vanquishing bad habits and losing weight. Because I was such a Skinny Minnie who could eat anything I wanted until I turned about 40, it’s been tough for me to change my lifelong habits of snarfing anything sweet, cheesy

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15% Off For My Readers For IPL (Intense Pulsed Light Therapy)

You know I’m always fighting off aging with the ferocity of Alec Baldwin’s tears at court for his sex scandal trial. I’ve had many procedures over the years including, Ultherapy (I noticed very subtle change) and three years ago I had

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10 Things I did to Prepare for my 30th High School Reunion (Before and After Photos)

This is what I did to prepare for my 30th high school reunion: 1. Over-indulge in wine coolers and nervous carbohydrate eating. 2. Gain 5 lbs. 3. Develop new mantra: “You’re still a skinny bitch.” 4. Wax my mustache. 5.

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I Fight Body Dysmorphic Disorder By Taking Flattering Pictures Of Myself

This weekend I laterally passed Henry all my kid obligations and ran off with two women to Palm Springs where we proceeded to do wild things. Like nap. And drink. And nap. And shop. And nap. And eat pastries. And

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Husbands and Wives: The Saladarians

This is the latest in my Husbands and Wives Series: Me: Henry did you know that you spend about 85$ a week on buying salads at Whole Foods. Henry: That’s impossible! Me: Here, look, I collated and printed out our

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I’m In Love With An Incredible Woman! Gabrielle Blair of Design Mom.

I tend to be a “look at me, look at me” kinda gal.  I danced on bars in my twenties.  For free.  Sometimes I was asked to stop doing that. But to those of you who trust me not to

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Keep It Fresh, Ladies! Summer’s Eve Giveaway

How does one talk about the freshness of the Lady Garden without crumpling to the floor a mass of quivering shyness? Perhaps one must quote one’s favorite commercial of all time, which pays homage to that delicate flower: “It’s the

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9 Things I Know About Beauty Now That I’m In My 40s

The 40s are good. You’re too old to be a young fool and you’re too young to be in Depends. In my teens and 20s I never felt beautiful enough. I thought I was too skinny, too flat-chested, too pointy-chinned,

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Why It’s Great to be 48!

Tomorrow I turn 48.  Here’s what I like about 48: My kids are not so cynically aged that I am obsolete and they’re not so green that I have to deal with their poop in all its iterations. I’m the

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Does Good Hair Equal Better Sex?

I was going to write about the three main reasons America failed in Iraq: 1. We disbanded the Iraqi army leaving a bunch of 20-year old boys without jobs, but with lots of guns. 2. We cut too deeply in

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Little Girl Movie Star Parties Freaked Me Out, Not Anymore

I’ve been Professor McGonegle. I’ve been Medusa. And now I’ve been Makeup-Artist-to-the-Stars, Gilda. I blame my myriad incarnations on my daughter Bridget because she insists upon Theme Birthdays with no extra outside help every. single. year. When she was seven

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My Browlift Before and After

It makes me crazy when celebrities over-45 attribute their youthful looks to “drinking lots of water,” or that old chestnut, “I’ve just got good genes” when behind the scenes they’re drinking the blood of virgin choirboys and having Work Done.

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The 2nd Talk Poise Giveaway, $100 VISA Gift Card

There I was, minding my own business, cooking pepperoni pasta for nineteen people on New Year’s Day, when I suddenly morphed into Albert Brooks trying to anchor the weekend news in Broadcast News. I was suddenly drenched with flop sweat and

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The Mary Kay Is My Godmother Giveaway – Before & After Photos!

As you know I’m all about beauty. How to maintain it even if I have to drink the blood of virgin choirboys. Even if I have to do 500 military press push-ups in a pair of Jessica Simpson platforms. And

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My Adventures in Fat Freezing

Writing my blog exposes where I am in my psychological evolution and fuckery on any given day. And writing at the speed of sound isn’t wise. But it’s the paradigm we, as bloggers, are given. For instance I wrote all

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Why I Stopped Trying To Make My Daughter Be Pretty

My 10-year-old daughter Clare only likes to wear clothes from the boy’s section. Preferably a boxy, shapeless t-shirt with pictures of Spiderman or any other superhero on them. She always wears two braids. Always. Even to bed. Her hair is

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From Fat Fanny To Fit Fanny!

To be honest I’m a little sick of myself. Lately it’s been alllll about me.  So this post is about you and my friend Johanna Sawalha. This isn’t a sponsored post, I’m not being paid. Johanna’s my Life Coach (she single-handedly

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I Always Think Beautiful Women Are Bitches

Just got back from the BlogHer conference in New York where I roomed with one woman I didn’t know at all,  one I’d fallen in love with online and one who I met briefly at the conference last year who

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When You’re Over 45 You Might Need To Have The “Second Talk”

It’s June 27th, 1975. My 10th birthday. Will I get a fast growing hair Barbie? I rip through the Snoopy wrapping paper to discover … Sweet Suzie’s Starter Menstruation Kit. WTH? “Go ahead, honey, open it,” says my mom, face shining beatifically

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2 Tricks To Not Feel Fat And Old

I blog frequently about Body Image. In one of my posts Love. Your. Body. Now. using the juxtaposition of nudes I took in my 20s with nudes I took in my 40s, I seem to’ve finally accepted the way my body

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Ultherapy Part 2 aka Countdown to my Ultherapy Before and After Photos

Ultherapy Before and After Photos to Come Soon! Okay, so here I am right before I had my Ultherapy treatment Monday before last. I’m aware I look like a serial killer you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark alley.

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When Is The Desire To Be Desired Too Much?

As a 46-year old woman I frequently blog about beauty and body image. I am not a role model. On the one hand I’ve done a series of fine art nude photgraphs and posts about loving my body now which

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