Can You Guess Which Movie? (I fast-forwarded through the sexy stuff)
Navigating Monday morning in movie quotes.
Shannon: “Hurry up kids, we’re going to be late for school!”
Clare (age 12): “Whatever you say, Stove.”
Clare: “What kind of a name is ‘Stove’ anyway?”
Shannon: “That’s not a name. My name is Steve.”
Clare: “What are you, an appliance?”
Shannon: “No, I’m a man.”
Clare: “You’re a flight attendant.”
Shannon: “That’s absolutely accurate.”
Shannon and her daughters get in the car. Shannon backs out of the driveway …
Bridget (10): “I’ll take first watch.”
Shannon: “I am not an air marshall. You don’t need to take the first watch.”
Bridget: “Okay … (quietly) I’ve got the first watch.”
They drive past the school crossing guard.
Shannon: “I’m glad he’s single, cuz I’m gonna climb that like a tree.”
Shannon pulls to the curb at the middle school. Clare exits the vehicle, emitting a foreign noise.
Claire: “I want to apologize. I’m not even confident on which end that came out of.”
Shannon whips a u-turn and heads to the elementary school with Bridget, passing the Westwood courts.
Bridget: “I’ve seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial.”
Shannon pulls up to the curb to drop Bridget. As Bridget exits …
Shannon: “No, Megan, no, no!!”
Bridget: “Look away!”
Shannon: “Megan no!”
Bridget: “Look away! It’s comin’ outa me like lava!”
Shannon: “You smell like pine needles and have a face like sunshine!”
Bridget: “Help me, I’m poor.”
Shannon: “Love you, honey, have a good day!”
Bridget: “Love you, too mom. There’s a woman in colonial garb on the wing!”
Shannon: “Physically I don’t bloat. It’s a gift!”
Shannon drives away.
This is what we do to get happy on Monday morning … because Sunday night I took a hard, violent fall, kinda pin-balled down there.
Hit a lot of railings, broke a lot of shit!
I’m not saying I survived, but I thrived. I met a dolphin down there, and I swear to God that dolphin looked, not at me, but into my soul. Into my God damn soul, Annie!
And it said, ‘I’m saving you Megan’. Not with its mouth, but…I’m assuming telepathically? We had a connection, that I don’t even know..Oh jeez…bla bla! Hey, shut my mouth!
Okay, which movie is it? Hint. They’re like really tiny, little girl balls, if little girls had balls. That’s all I’m saying.