Monday Paralysis in Cougar Town
I woke up this morning utterly paralyzed by all of the things I need to do or think I need to do or can’t remember if I need to do or in what order I need to do.
Cook healthy food for the entire week so I won’t just eat marshmallows and tequila (which is edible).
Weigh myself to see if I’ve gained weight and do something about it if I have.
Exercise in some new way that scares my body enough to up its metabolism.
Brush my teeth and my dental guard.
Write a post that is good, grammatically erudite, honest and true (and hopefully viral, because that’s easy to do).
Set up my video shoot in my outdoor office praying I can figure out how to make it sound and look good even though I have no fucking clue what I’m doing.
Tout my site across social media in a way that is hopefully not obnoxious and desperate.
Scrape my gums with that rubber pointy thing.
Read other people’s stories so I can seem unselfish and helpfully comment so people will like me.
Get my computer fixed for too much money which I’ll have to steal from my children’s safes.
Create a new email address because apparently aol means I’m old, obsolete and undesirable.
Go back to bed.
Any Monday paralysis for you?