“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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My Wittiest, Wisest, Most Inappropriate Commenters (Andy) This Week!

Couch seductress 2Today isn’t about me. Well, it kind of is about me because I want to post some of my favorite comments about me. Yes, I need to get a life. But, I’m frequently stunned by how funny, insightful and creative my commenters are and how much I can adore people I’ve never even met. The internet certainly can be used for evil, but the good that rolls around out there in the ether is just so encouraging. I want to say THANK YOU to all the folks who visit here and support my endeavors, however misguided they may be at times. xo To this query on my fan page:

The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful 18 hours ago
TWFKAB: Men? What do you want for Christmas? (Besides fellatio, of course).
Maddie: Why the hell would he ask for something he gets every day anyway?? Yes I am bucking for best wife ever!
TWFKAB: You’re making us look bad, Maddie.
Todd:  Maybe I’d shouldn’t throw neckties and socks into the discussion?…
TWFKAB: Depends on what you use them for.
Andrew: How about a Dirty Sanchez?
Andrew: Oh, by the way, don’t google that term…just a warning.
TWFKAB: I expect you’ve learned that from experience!
TWFKAB: Okay, now I have to google it.
TWFKAB: Oh, I wish I hadn’t!
John: An intelligent, witty, self-actualized ex-gymnast with a trust fund and a trick hip…
TWFKAB: John you need your own blog. I’m hunting down your woman for you. I won’t take anyone who can’t do a triple saw cow.
Maddie: Dedicated this year to rockin the marital sheets – been a very fine and interesting year!
 TWFKAB: Maddie, Just knock it off!
John: Reciprocity is the key – you can unzip more flies with honey…

John: A gentleman does not discuss his tricks … So give me a minute and I will tell you things that will make your irises blush.

In a post about Open Marriages on my Fan Page the same smart, funny John wrote in with some excellent relationship advice:

“In a relationship, you both need to wake up and show your partner in at least one small way that they matter to you. You have to do it in a way that matters to them (different people are motivated by different things). Every day that both of you do that, you are adding a brick to the foundation of your relationship. Every day that one or both of you don’t show the other that they are valued, you are taking a brick away. The longer you both do it, the stronger the bond. There will always be times when things are out of balance, but if you build a strong foundation, it can outlast those times when some bricks are washed away.”

In my post Henry You Can’t Read This One Because It’s About Your Christmas Gift aka The Moustache Debacle about being lured into buying Henry a shaving kit that costs more than a Rolex John also wrote in: “Better than an expensive shaving kit – buy him a regular old pack of his usual razors and shaving cream. Then wrap them with some new lingerie for you, and tell him that once every week this year, you are going to strip down to that outfit and shave him.”

Excellent advice. John is my new love guru. And ladies, he’s single!!

On my post The Death of Sweetums AKA Entering the DMZ (Demaritalized Zone) Meredith replied: “We have two toddlers, so the (sex) doldrums are definitely our domain. For now. I hope. Our last anniversary, we had sex in the third row of our minivan at the top level of a parking garage after a stand-up comedy show. It was HOT!”

This is a woman whose marriage is going to last!

I also want to give a shout out to one of my favorite commenters PIA who has an excellent blog of her own. http://courtingdestiny.com/

Guys, thanks so much for engaging and commenting and letting me know you’re out there. As a favor I want to send the 15th person who signs up for my monthly newsletter a copy of my book, Smash, Crash and Burn: Tales From The Edge of Celebrity.

You can sign up HERE. See you here again on Monday! And have a lovely weekend. I won’t be checking my fabulous comments till Monday, but be warned, my inappropriate replies will be coming hard and fast after that!

(Author’s note: Facebook is now charging money for each post I place on my Fan Page. If you love this site — or hate it for that matter — sign up HERE for my weekly newsletter in order not to miss a thing!


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7 comments

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  1. Sharona Zee
    Sharona Zee 6 December, 2013, 12:54

    why have you not fixed me up with John?

    Reply this comment
  2. John Collins
    John Collins 6 December, 2013, 18:18

    Unfortunately Sharona, I think the commute from Texas to Vermont might be a bit of an issue…

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 6 December, 2013, 20:56

      John — if I find you a wife I want a kickback, but ladies he’s special. I have to vet you.

      Reply this comment
    • Sharona Zee
      Sharona Zee 7 December, 2013, 09:39

      John,

      the distance might be a problem…if I wanted to sleep alone, I could have just stayed married (rimshot)

      What about that modern couple 2-house thing? Winters in Texas, Summers in Vermont. (flip that around, and you’ve got a life Weather Hell)

      We both love TWFKAB (that’s one thing we’ve got) 🙂

      Reply this comment
  3. John Collins
    John Collins 7 December, 2013, 05:24

    On a scale of a dollar to being best man at the wedding, what do you have in mind? I am not opposed to getting remarried, but it is not the current goal – so you might want to pick a different trigger for your payoff. Being a single Dad is more of a full time job than my career, so dating has been rather hit-and-miss. I could give you a ton of material about the pitfalls of online dating.

    Reply this comment
  4. John Collins
    John Collins 7 December, 2013, 18:47

    I don’t know about you Sharona, but I am not going to retire for another 20 years, so I am pretty well tied up here (innuendo rimshot). Austin is nice, but Burlington is perfect.

    Read “Uncoupling” by Diane Vaughn. I went through five years of that too before my divorce. The book describes the mechanics of how a relationship ends. It really helped me gain closure, and it opened my eyes about how long the process was going on before I had a clue.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 8 December, 2013, 19:23

      Am I hosting a burgeoning love affair?? Who says you can’t have a romantic rendezvous somewhere in the middle??

      Reply this comment

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