“The literary equivalent of a summer night, a good friend and a gin-and-tonic: Shannon is a deft writer; a natural storyteller with a wicked turn of phrase and frighteningly specific memory...”

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My Name Is Tom

Homeless GuyLast week I picked my daughters and a friend of theirs up from school.

We made a pitstop at our favorite taco truck in front of a car wash on Westwood and Santa Monica Boulevards. As we waited in line to order, Clare noticed a homeless man coming our direction.

He was white, well over six feet tall, with long, lank grey hair. His shirt was unbuttoned and his chest, red and blotchy, protruded as though his sternum had been broken and never healed properly.

His pants were rolled at the ankle revealing the purple flesh of his leg and the top of his foot. He wore loafers with no socks.

Clare recoiled. She’s particularly frightened of the homeless people that live all over Los Angeles, many of whom are mentally ill or suffering from substance addiction. She’s more sensitive to their unpredictability than the rest of us.

As soon as she saw him she wanted to abandon our taco quest, get back in the car and go.

I saw him approaching, but thought he would probably pass by us and I didn’t want this one person to send us fleeing. I wanted to teach my daughters to live by my recently-passed grandmother’s mantra: “Be careful, but unafraid.”

However, when I glanced toward him to get his logistics I realized he was walking directly to us. We were his destination.

What to do?

I had no time to think. I scanned his hands and body to see if he had any kind of weapon and he didn’t appear to. I took some comfort in the fact that there were many people around. But I felt nervous not being in control of the situation.

So I decided to act. I turned to face him and took a step toward him. We came together like two people who’d been expecting one another.

“Hello, sir.” I said, “Are you hungry? Would you like me to buy you some lunch?”

A look of relief washed over his face, “Yes, please, I’m really hungry.”

“What would you like?”

He cogently gave me his order. He’d done this before. A large beef burrito and two beef tacos, if that was okay with me, and a Coke.

I gave his order to the taco vendor, along with mine and the girls’, then told the girls they could wait for me in the car.

They were glad to dart away, but I could tell Clare was still concerned for me.

The man and I stood near one another, waiting for the order to be filled.

It was awkward. I was tense and my body wanted nothing more than to put distance between the two of us.

We didn’t speak, because that was the social contract. His mind was a jumble with incomprehensible things, while mine was on high alert for any potential danger.

This wasn’t about intimacy and friendship. It was my way of taking charge and his way of getting what he needed. Right up until I handed the man his food.

“Thank you very much,” he said.

“You’re welcome,” I said, stepping back.

Then, with a great deal of dignity, he said, “My name is Tom.”

This caught me off guard and caused me to look into his eyes. I saw a person there, in the still point. My throat thickened and tears sprang to my eyes.

I imagined Tom as an infant, born into this world just like me, fresh, unblemished, full of possibility. I wondered about all of the things that had happened to him that conspired to send him down the road he’s traveling now. I’d been luckier than him, that much is sure.

That split-second of recognition that we were fellow humans, equally important, hit home.

“My name is Shannon,” I said.

“Thank you, Shannon. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Tom.”

Then he strode away as purposefully as he’d come.

I turned and saw all three girls’ faces, like uncut flowers, pressed against the windows of the car, taking everything in.

This was one of those moments where all of my ambition, grandiosity, ego and pride just fell away.

Tom brought me back down to earth. He reminded me, yet again, that all that matters is how we treat each other. That’s it.

__________________________________________________________

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39 comments

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  1. Rosie
    Rosie 18 November, 2013, 08:33

    This one made me cry. I love your humor, wit, courage, and the ability to make readers live the moments you limn! Perhaps, this is my favorite glimpse of life, so far! XO

    Reply this comment
  2. Lynn
    Lynn 18 November, 2013, 08:34

    So well done, Shannon. I have had similar experiences a number of times and felt like a privileged, narrow minded ass each time, even if i gave food or money or tried to relate to the person in some way. that line between protecting yourself and not jumping to conclusions is tough. you did well.

    Reply this comment
  3. Cameron
    Cameron 18 November, 2013, 09:11

    Lovely. You are such a gifted writer and woman.

    Reply this comment
  4. Lisa Froman
    Lisa Froman 18 November, 2013, 09:16

    “We came together like two people who’d been expecting one another..” Yes, let’s call it an ordained meeting. And on this day, you were a teacher and a student. Imagine what your daughter learned from you Shannon…just as you learned from Tom. I absolutely love this piece.

    Reply this comment
  5. Jenny
    Jenny 18 November, 2013, 10:19

    Thank you for sharing your story. If only everyone would reach out in this way…

    Reply this comment
  6. Rachel Elizabeth
    Rachel Elizabeth 18 November, 2013, 12:46

    What a moment. My daughter and I are working on a project to help my local homeless population and having a hard time getting people to help us out. I think people are seeing their situation rather than the individuals. We’ve even gotten some negative feedback about their being other charity ventures that are more deserving our our time, attention, and donations. It’s so sad.

    Reply this comment
  7. KymberlyFunFit
    KymberlyFunFit 19 November, 2013, 19:17

    The Woman Still Known as Beautiful

    Reply this comment
  8. Lis
    Lis 20 November, 2013, 12:28

    BAM! Right between the eyes that hit me. (Must be why I’m crying after reading it.)

    Your daughters will remember this story, and will pass it to your grandchildren.

    Reply this comment
  9. Leslie Marinelli
    Leslie Marinelli 20 November, 2013, 13:22

    Beautiful. Your grandmother is proud of you, and your children witnessed such a gift this day. Thank you, Shannon.

    Reply this comment
  10. Kathy
    Kathy 21 November, 2013, 16:31

    Wonderful story. I had tears. You taught the girls a valuable lesson. Thank you for sharing

    Reply this comment
  11. Jana
    Jana 22 November, 2013, 18:32

    You have a way with words. I felt as if I was standing right beside you and your story brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for the poignant moment in my sometimes too cynical day.

    Reply this comment
  12. Rick Ladd
    Rick Ladd 28 November, 2013, 19:23

    Surely, you still are – or should be – known as beautiful. Thank you for making my heart pleasantly skip a beat and for cleaning the dust out of my eyes.

    Reply this comment
  13. RJ Walker
    RJ Walker 28 November, 2013, 20:07

    FWIW, a friend of mine runs a medical lifeline bus serving the homeless and other folks in need.

    He tells the story of talking with and listening to a homeless man who broke down when he used his name, saying he hadn’t heard his name used in several months.

    Every Saturday in Toledo OH we have a ‘picnic” in the central city – with hundreds of people showing up and getting some free food – but it is a picnic, and many of us show not just to ‘serve’ and help, but to share time and conversation with.

    Reply this comment
  14. Chris
    Chris 29 November, 2013, 20:35

    Wow- that was lovely.

    Reply this comment
  15. Chris Wells
    Chris Wells 29 November, 2013, 20:36

    Wow- that was lovely and moving at the same time.

    Reply this comment
  16. Doug
    Doug 9 December, 2013, 18:31

    Made me think of the times I have offered and bought food for someone and the times when I have looked the other way. The “punchline” in this was “my name is Tom” and the impact of seeing him for who he was.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 9 December, 2013, 19:25

      So true Doug. I was just trying to manage a situation, instead the situation managed me. Life’s unexpected like that.

      Reply this comment
  17. lauren
    lauren 10 December, 2013, 06:31

    Simply beautiful!!

    Reply this comment
  18. Sean
    Sean 10 December, 2013, 08:13

    The gift that gave back for you both. For him, dignity that he is a man, a human being connected to us all..For you, the perpective of gratitude, humility and compassion – thank you for sharing, thank you for teaching your children well, thank you for honoring your grandmother, thank you for being a shining light by which others may see

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon
      Shannon Author 10 December, 2013, 09:20

      Sean this may be one of the kindest comments I’ve had. Thank you so much. xo

      Reply this comment
  19. loreen
    loreen 14 December, 2013, 20:07

    I’m sure it will be a defining moment in your childrens lives too. Well done thanks for sharing.

    Reply this comment
  20. Joyce Turner
    Joyce Turner 15 December, 2013, 16:12

    Thank you for sharing that beautifully written poignant piece and reminding us to treat one another with dignity.

    Reply this comment
  21. Debi
    Debi 15 December, 2013, 16:58

    WOW! There is so many lessons from this whole experience, it brung tears to my eyes and you told it so well I could just visualize the whole thing! That is the kind of lessons GOD wants us to learn, the part that touched me is when you said’ my ambition, grandiosity, ego and pride just fell away, and all that matters is how we treat each other!!! Beautiful!!! I hope everyone that reads this gets the valuable lesson here, thank you for shareing

    Reply this comment
  22. Lisa@TheDecorGirl
    Lisa@TheDecorGirl 16 December, 2013, 03:22

    Wow, this is an amazing story. A great reminder, “Be careful, but unafraid.” What a powerful simple moment, no drama, no big ending – just real life. Splendid,

    Reply this comment
  23. Liv
    Liv 20 September, 2014, 17:47

    Thanks for this. Perfect timing. Sending to a friend.

    Reply this comment
  24. nurseplummer
    nurseplummer 30 December, 2014, 05:46

    So inspiring!!

    Reply this comment

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