Yes My Pants Won’t Button, But I Was Nominated For The Versatile Blogger Award!

Share the love:
Buffer this pageEmail this to someoneShare on FacebookShare on LinkedInPin on PinterestShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUpon

Okay, I may be chubby, but someone reads my blog! That’s very encouraging. Listen all you silent readers, you should know I’m an insecure writer always searching for validation and praise and the occasional obsequious comment! So I was heartened when compatriot Old Dog New Tits nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award. ODNT, when can I expect the stretch limo equipped with a young Prosecco, a jazz quartet and a mini-jacuuzi for Henri et moi?

But, before we’re whisked away to the crumbling ruins of Pompei and a cove on the island of Capri where we will be magically transformed into that stunning couple in all the Aqua Velvet ads, I want to fulfill the requirements for this nomination:

1. NOMINATE 15 FELLOW BLOGGERS

If you don’t know these fascinating, irreverent trailblazers you should! They will tell you how to fix your woeful sex life while tippling Kettle One, reading Sarte, decoding NASA’s Html, becoming less of an unfulfilled dilettante and more of an enlightened yogi Kama Sutra master. That’s just the tip of what these folks have to offer. (And no, that’s not what I meant by “tip.” Get your minds out of the gutter!)

MARRIED MAN SEX LIFE
THE FLYING CHALUPA
THE BADGER HUT
ANN’S RANTS
I AM NOT THE BABYSITTER
BETWEEN PARENTS
GOOD DAY REGULAR PEOPLE
JOHANNA SAWALHA/DESIGN YOUR WHOLE LIFE
THE SASSY CURMUDGEON
THE BOOK MAMA
MOMS LA
YVONNEINLA
FUSSY
TECH. FOOD. LIFE.
VODKAMOM

2. INFORM THE BLOGGERS OF THEIR NOMINATION

Oh, I will be informing them. Right before Christmas…Get to work, you bastards! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

3. SHARE 7 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT MYSELF

In a 1996 journal entry I wrote that I thought Henry was going to be my husband. That was two years before we had our first date.

I camped overnight in a 1959 Cadillac Hearse with Brandon Lee (son of Bruce Lee).

I wrote a Dear John letter to David Schwimmer before he starred in Friends. Guess who’s laughing now??

During puberty the most popular boy in school told me my hair looked like pubic hair. Now he’s homeless in Hawaii.

I danced for INXS at the 1990 VMAs, but my Suicide Blonde wig started slipping off so I was never on-camera (or I’m just making this up!)

I lived on a 70-foot sailboat docked in Antioch, California for six months when I was 9. The harbor master was shot by his wife for having an affair with the wife of my third stepdad. Ahh, the ’70s.

I pet (or is it petted?) a leopard on a wildlife preserve in South Africa. I was terrified when the leopard emitted a deep, loud “RRRRRRR! RRRRRR! RRRRRR!” I turned to the wildlife preserve guy. “Is she growling?” I asked. “No,” he said, “She’s purring.”

4. THANK THE BLOGGER WHO NOMINATED YOU

My dearest Old Dog New Tits – you’ve been through a lot lately and you’ve handled it with great humor and equanimity. If the ship were going down, you’d be bailing water. You are a true lady and I so appreciate the fact that you think enough of my work as a blogger to nominate me for this award. I look forward to reading you in the future and hopefully meeting you in person someday. xoxox

5. ADD THE VERSATILE BLOGGER AWARD LOGO ON YOUR BLOG POST:

Share the love:
Buffer this pageEmail this to someoneShare on FacebookShare on LinkedInPin on PinterestShare on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterShare on StumbleUpon
Opt In Image
Sign-Up for Monthly Tips & Tales on Beauty, Body, Babies, Bye Asshats & Bodacious Sex from TWFKAB:

I promise NO SPAM or I'll eat my own weight in Malomars.


Tags assigned to this article:
blog friendsversatile blogger award

15 comments

Write a comment
  1. Desiree Eaglin
    Desiree Eaglin 23 December, 2011, 09:32

    Cool!

    Reply this comment
  2. Deborah Stambler
    Deborah Stambler 23 December, 2011, 09:46

    You’re awesome. And Versatile. And my mind’s not even in the gutter, really…

    Thanks for the nomination!

    Reply this comment
  3. Carrie
    Carrie 23 December, 2011, 10:23

    FABULOUS!

    You and the award.

    And the fact that you stalked David Schwimmer. And the fact you molested Brandon Lee. And the fact that you had pubic hair during puberty!

    Wait. You know what I mean.

    After reading for just a few months…why do none of your 7 random things surprise me?

    Love. =)

    Reply this comment
  4. Mrs. Kennedy
    Mrs. Kennedy 23 December, 2011, 13:51

    Aw, thanks!

    Reply this comment
  5. Ann
    Ann 23 December, 2011, 14:53

    Honored!! Thanks.

    –David Schwimmer

    Reply this comment
  6. OldDogNewTits
    OldDogNewTits 24 December, 2011, 23:34

    Girl, you got right on it. On Christmas Eve, too. Color me impressed. Or purple. They both work. Anyway, considering the fact that your ‘Seven Things’ could kick my ‘Seven Things’ ass, I’d love to arrange a meeting someday. Coffee, Vegas. Whatever you’re in the mood for.

    Reply this comment
  7. OldDogNewTits
    OldDogNewTits 24 December, 2011, 23:40

    Oh, and a few housekeeping questions:

    (1) Do you have a Twitter account I could follow? I do. Same name FYI.
    (2) I think I followed your blog/weekly newsletter. Think. It’s 1:40am so who knows. :)
    (3) May I list you on the ODNT blogroll?

    Thanks, lady.

    Reply this comment
    • Shannon Colleary
      Shannon Colleary 26 December, 2011, 20:35

      Yes to everything. Twitter is just Shannoncolleary. Would be honored to be on your blogroll. And so glad you’re getting newsletter. Also, I want to keep abreast of your boobs. Will sign up for your updates.

      Reply this comment
  8. The Flying Chalupa
    The Flying Chalupa 26 December, 2011, 15:53

    I’m here! I’m here! Better late than never, right? And Brandon Lee? For real? Swoon. You’re so cool.

    Congrats and THANK YOU!

    Reply this comment

Write a Comment

Your e-mail address will not be published.
Required fields are marked*

Current ye@r *