October 8th, 2011
You’ve found my new home! I’m not sure how to live in it yet, but I hope you’ll snoop around. Look through all my cupboards, drawers, closets and under the top of the toilet bowl for a baggie of Bolivian white and a Luger P08. Please let me know if anything isn’t working properly on this site and email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
You may notice I’m pimping my first book for the price of an app. It’s downloadable on any computer, ipad, iphone, nook, kindle etc. It’s a slight creature, coming in around 100 pages. Perfect reading when you need to laugh at someone and feel much better about yourself. I can’t really talk about it effectively since I wrote it. (Kind of like when you try to assess the attractiveness of your own breasts. Is the one on the right looking left? And why is the left one looking at the floor? Did it commit some felony? Try to nurse another woman’s baby?) But read the testimonials from some really smart, funny people I didn’t pay.
If you are new to The Woman Formerly Known As Beautiful blog you may want to get to know me better by reading my About Me Page and/or…
Reading my tutorial on Married Sex
Finding out where I hide when I’m being Stalked By Celebrities
Watching a video about the State Of My Geriatric Womb
Reading an account of my vanity induced Plastic Surgery
Perusing the report of my smack down with our Neighborhood Drug Dealers
Finding out How American Girl Doll ripped me a new one!
Things are a bit of a mess, but I would appreciate a housewarming gift in the form of any comment you wish to post. Onward and upward! xo TWFKAB
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